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I'm recenty retired and spending too much time alone. My biggest worry is how little it bothers me and I worry about it alot I would like to get to know the niece/nephew and their kids better but feel like an add on for sure but more disruptive to their normal lives that I'm not usually a part of. I don't want to impose or intrude and be an obligation.
I recently read Lab Girl by Hope Jahren which I thoroughly enjoyed. This is an excerpt from the book. I only put it here because the discussion of being alone for the holidays is somewhat related to not being paired up, especially as you age. Everything I read is written from the point of view that being alone is bad, you will die earlier, it is something to be overcome and even more importantly fully the responsibility of the person that is alone. which at 60 I am just starting to realize, its not entirely "my fault".
"In the right venue, at a casual picnic perhaps, a stray dog is a curiousity and even an asset; its muddy clowning provides a rosy window into the carefree life of a simpler being. As everybody's pet and nobody's responsibility, it is at least friendly, if not wholesome and is remarkably happy given its humble lot. If a single woman can be thought of as a dog at such events, then a thirty some woman, uh didn't copy something right....
Within certain social circles of the married, a single woman over 30 inspires compassion similar to that bestowed upon a big friendly stray dog. Although the dogs unkempt appearance and tendency toward self reliance betray its lack of owner, the way it gravitates hungrily toward human contact suggests that it might have once know better days. You consider letting it eat on the porch after you confirm its not mangy, but then you decide not to, vaguely worried that it might start hanging around because it has nowhere else to go."
That was funny and kind of sad too.
I'm sort of a single woman. We live here like roommates now. Anyway, i'm going to spend the afternoon with a sibling, but if I didn't, I would be okay. They make me feel like they are doing me a favor. If they only knew that I am used to just staying home on Christmas - after many years in the armed forces. The spirit of Christmas should be with you every day, not just one day - so it doesn't matter to me when it or how it is "celebrated".
Survived. When I was a child I thought Christmas was all about gifts. If I still thought it was about that now as an adult, I would be very disappointed, as my only gift was an Amazon gift card from my brother out of obligation. Past years, I wish I had gone to serve the homeless or something, but I didn't. This year I went to 2 different homes and felt very welcomed. It was nice, and very different from the previous 8 years. As for New Year's, I'm good because I planned a cruise. It might not be the easiest thing to go on a vacation alone as an introvert. I was never willing to do that in the past, but hey, you only live once. I'm excited to get out of the cold. For the last few days, I've been working out twice a day to get in shape for the cruise. Almost there.
While I want to be like the Uncle accepting his nephew's invitation in "A Christmas Carol", situations make it impossible.
There is too much drama in my sibling's household for me to even seriously consider his invites. What goes on there, what has gone on there, is an eye popping alert to my security credentials. Ie, the police have shown up at times and there have been arrests.
The wild and crazy thing about it is that in the past, I have been the good conscience one. Back in the 90s when he was at ends with his first wife, while the rest of the family flew off to the east coast to have TG with Mom's mom, I stayed behind. I didn't think it was "right" for all the family to leave him in Texas, so I stayed behind in case he wanted to call me up and get together. It didn't happen but it wasn't totally miserable for me; I ran that morning in the Turkey Trot in Austin, stayed for the festivities.
Oh, well............C'est la vie!
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