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I know many will not be able to relate to this but I haven't had a guest in any apartment I lived in for almost 8 years. Safe to say no one will be coming over anytime soon. It's not by choice either. It's just the way it is...
I can relate to this. I just don't "entertain" or have folks over. We (my husband and me) never have anyone over as his family live in the Pac NW. My son is who-knows-where. Home is our sacred place and we like it that way.
We had his daughter and two grandchildren for four days in summer and it was just fine, not like we are weird or something. BUT as much as we enjoyed them, we were have to have the house back to ourselves.
Same here. I bought this house with the idea that I'd be having guests sometimes but it hasn't happened yet. The most 'visitors' to my house are people doing work on/in the house. I have one friend who drops by once a month or so. No overnight visitors. Even so I always put up a Christmas tree, my village and all the decorations. Just for me because I enjoyed just looking at it. Over time I didn't enjoy it so much and it became 'work'. One year it took me till nearly Valentines Day to get it all put away. lol It's been years since I've done it and I'm so used to it now it's no biggie. I did entertain the thought this year. My living room is nearly empty since I sold my sectional couch and chair, so thought I might put the tree up. But I guess I just don't care enough. Oh yeah, the first year I didn't put up a tree was when my one cat was a kitten. And she was the kitten from HELL when it came to tearing things up! Wasn't taking any chances and, honestly? I still don't trust the little turd and she's ten years old. lol
I feel like people don't get it when they ask if I have a Christmas tree up and I tell them no and that I don't decorate for Christmas. I used to love the holiday and it was my favorite. Not anymore, at least as long as I don't have a family. Its just not the same and its just a day to get through. I don't think I appreciated what I had in the past and am missing now.
I never have people over either. I probably could have a couple people over, but I think my place isn't as nice as theirs or think they'll view it as a true bachelor pad. Maybe not giving myself enough credit on that, as its certainly not a dump and is clean. I just feel so out of place in a town where everyone is married. It holds me back. Plus, I'm not one to entertain. I've tried, but not a natural at it like my ex-wife was.
I agree. It's a family celebration and, without that (or a tribe of friends who are like family), what's the point? I have a hard time making myself do things that don't make any sense -- especially if those things are a lot of work! I enjoy other people's decorations and public displays (in fact, I wish we would call them "winter lights" instead of "Christmas lights" and leave them up all the long, dark season to cheer us), but have absolutely no desire to decorate the room for just me to look at. Why?
Same here. I bought this house with the idea that I'd be having guests sometimes but it hasn't happened yet. The most 'visitors' to my house are people doing work on/in the house. I have one friend who drops by once a month or so. No overnight visitors. Even so I always put up a Christmas tree, my village and all the decorations. Just for me because I enjoyed just looking at it. Over time I didn't enjoy it so much and it became 'work'. One year it took me till nearly Valentines Day to get it all put away. lol It's been years since I've done it and I'm so used to it now it's no biggie. I did entertain the thought this year. My living room is nearly empty since I sold my sectional couch and chair, so thought I might put the tree up. But I guess I just don't care enough. Oh yeah, the first year I didn't put up a tree was when my one cat was a kitten. And she was the kitten from HELL when it came to tearing things up! Wasn't taking any chances and, honestly? I still don't trust the little turd and she's ten years old. lol
Hahaha, that's funny. I am the same way--recently I had a guy here to do an estimate and then another who actually did some work. That's been most of the action at my house. I did invite my annoying neighbor friend to come help me decorate my tree because I felt guilty over snapping at her so much lately because she's so annoying. I'm only putting up a tree because my daughter will be home Christmas Eve, but that's too late to decorate it. My cats sleep under the tree, but they leave it alone. It worked out well. I put the lights on and Annoying Friend merrily put the ornaments on, although she's short so there are a lot more on the bottom half of the tree than on the top and she was knocking back the wine pretty good so there are a lot clumped together. I have to rearrange them a bit.
Some years when my daughter was living 8000 miles away I just didn't bother. She is the only reason I still put up a tree.
I had a tree last year because my daughter was home between living abroad and living in another state, and so I invited a couple of friends over for drinks. Then on January 2, I fell down my friend's stairs and injured my back. I was in pain and laid up for quite a while, so it was May before I was able to pull down the attic stairs and put LAST YEAR'S Christmas decorations away...and now it felt as if I had just put them away and was getting them down again.
I had an out-of-state friend who used to stay with me because her 90-something mother was in an assisted living nearby and she hates her sister who lives in the area and won't stay with her. But the mother died, so she doesn't come up this way anymore.
So all I've got is the annoying neighbor friend (we are both on the condo board at our complex, so she lives right here and I can't dodge her) who WANTS to come here all the time though I keep trying to train her to not ring my bell and just stop by without calling. It would be OK if she would just chat for ten minutes and leave, but she has NEVER ONCE stopped by that I didn't finally have to tell her that she had to leave because I was busy or going somewhere. She doesn't have the sense to leave of her own accord. I have had to actually grab keys and put my coat on and announce that I have to get to the store for something to get her out the door. She also serves as my cat-sitter when I go somewhere, so I try to maintain the friendship, but...she must be managed.
What; she doesn't try to run your errand with you? Poor woman; sounds very lonely. I'm glad I'm relatively okay on my own; I'd hate to be in a state of dependence on anyone. And everyone! Like so many people who are alone in the world.
I really need to be with others on that day. Ideas welcome.
I've only read the first and last pages of this long thread, so I am probably repeating. But do you have any friends whom you suspect may also be alone? The last three Thanksgivings I have invited an old cycling buddy who lives alone and is a bit reclusive to go out to eat together. (I am the world's worst cook). He seems to appreciate the invitation, and I have enjoyed being with someone else even for a relatively short portion of the day. (It beats being alone the entire day).
What; she doesn't try to run your errand with you? Poor woman; sounds very lonely. I'm glad I'm relatively okay on my own; I'd hate to be in a state of dependence on anyone. And everyone! Like so many people who are alone in the world.
Everyone immediately says that when I describe her...but she isn't lonely AT ALL. She's 76 years old. She has three grown children who live nearby and grandchildren, too. Her recently-divorced son stops by or calls her every day. She has quite a few friends from church and the neighborhood. What she is is INTRUSIVE. She has no filter, and she has no sense of boundaries, so while she does know a lot of people and she can be fun in small doses, her friends all learn to manage her and her bad habits.
I used to call her my stalker, because she will look for my car and then call and say, "I drove by at ten after one and I was surprised to see your car wasn't there because you usually work from home on Thursday. Did you go into work or did you just run to the store?" (She has to drive past my building to go home or leave to go anywhere--there's only one way in and out.) I mean, even if you ARE stalking me, don't keep TELLING me. She's otherwise quite intelligent, but not when it comes to relationships with people.
And don't laugh about her not wanting to run an errand with me. I can't tell her I am going anywhere because she will invite herself along--and I don't mean just running errands, but to visit MY MOTHER an hour away. "I would LOVE to take the ride with you!" she says. No.Effing.Sense.
Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 12-20-2016 at 08:45 PM..
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