Your "I'm Alone on the Holidays" Thread (dynamics, introvert, Christmas)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Over the last 5 years, I watched my family life crash due to two shocks: my mother's death in 2011 (and the subsequent estate problems) and when I came out to my family as gay in 2015. It's weird to be at the "I guess I have my memories" stage when I am 27. To add to the disruption, I have moved 4 times in 2016 alone. Last Christmas, I spent it with a friend who took me in at the last minute, but that was when I lived in New Zealand. At least there with Thanksgiving I could quietly make a decent pancake breakfast to mark the day in peace.
Now, I live in Honolulu, so it's a barrage of questions from acquaintances/neighbors. If I had courage, I'd ask for an invite from Close Friend in Auckland, Close Friend in San Diego, or even Best Friend in London to liberate me from the mind F#$! that is Christmas. But it's such a family oriented day, I hate being a bother, and I don't like to be the charity case.
The difficulty with memories is that I remember Christmas as a time of warmth, safety, rest, being loved/valued, and looking forward to giving whatever small gift I could. Then I contrast that with today.
I believe if I have the correct poster you have issues with your siblings and their spouses, that happens, but haven't you lived in the same area for a long time?
Are there no friends or neighbors? IF not, why is that?
Feeling sorry for yourself because you don't bother to interact with anyone, and than whining about it at a time of year that is meant for friends and family, well you have to look at yourself and say "how come I am alone?".
The only time I was alone was when I moved from CA to Portland, OR and had a new job about a 15 years ago. I had no family or friends, the one couple I was kind of friendly with(also CA transplants) were going to CA for the holidays. It was tough, but I put myself in a situation where I knew there was no family around and there hadn't been enough time to develop friendships.
Unless you're new to an area and don't know anyone, why do you have to be alone? Do some volunteer work regarding something that interests you, great way to meet people.
Your post is very mean.
Do you like to kick others while they are down? Braggarts are some of the worst people I ever came in contact with and your post qualifies as such, especially the "only time I was alone..." part.
As to what is bolded - it is common knowledge this is the worst day of the year to do any last minute "volunteer" work as they often outnumber the people they are trying to help.
I notice you didn't answer why you're going to be alone.
Where did I say I was alone by choice? I didn't. I said I moved from CA to Portland, OR a couple of months before the holiday season. I wasn't thrilled spending Christmas alone, TBH it was awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but that's how it worked out.
I asked the OP why are they going to be alone, that's all.
In regards to your situation, you sound like you're certainly healthy enough to travel, if your relatives can't make it to you, than you can go to them.
I wouldn't expect people with health issues to be able to make the invitation you extended.
I never tagged anybody with any labels, I simply asked why do they find themselves alone, that's all.
I'll bite but I wish I had another post to quote. I'm actually a little surprised this has to be explained but maybe there are others like you who can't relate to people who are alone and would rather not be.
For many it is not a choice. I am a case in point. I would love to go to a party like atmosphere today but despite me telling a few and a few others who know I will be alone I did not get a single invite. Shyness and giving up trying to meet others because rejection is difficult for many top my list anyway. Actually I haven't completely given up but pretty close.
"Neighbors" (quoted from the other post) ha! People here keep to themselves. They have their own circle as well as families to spend Thanksgiving with.
I have always spent Thanksgiving with at least my immediate family, but I'm having a tough time this year with life in general and some specifics that I won't get into for fear of derailing the thread, so I am spending today alone. I'm sad about it, but the other options don't sound that great either. It's just one day. I'll probably go to a movie or marathon Gilmore Girls or something. I don't think it will be that bad, I spend a lot of time - I need a lot of time alone.
I usually go up to visit my Mom over Thanksgiving. The whole family shows up (cousins, aunts). This year I decided to change my visit to Christmas because my Brother and sister had plans and could not invite her over for Christmas.
It is probably a good year to miss. One of my siblings is very political and very disappointed this year. I don't want to hear it.
I am hanging out with my two dogs and two cats. I am not planning on a "feast" although I did buy a whole chicken to roast (I like chicken better than turkey) and will make a side of cornbread stuffing and some veggies. It ought to be good.
My plans include a couple of good walks each day and doing some education related to my business. I hope that this will be a very productive four day weekend.
I am spending the day doing dog laundry..... one of the fosters has decided he must mark everything as his own....
I have a small turkey in brine that I will roast later on and I made the gravy and wild rice last night.....
just glad to have an entire day at home.... no errands, no work (at the office).... just me and the furries hangin' out.....
Last Christmas day was lying on the sofa watching a Walking Dead marathon.... it was GREAT..... I am caught up on that show, so not sure what this Christmas day will have.....
I would love to go to a party like atmosphere today but despite me telling a few and a few others who know I will be alone I did not get a single invite. Shyness and giving up trying to meet others because rejection is difficult for many top my list anyway. Actually I haven't completely given up but pretty close.
Suggestion: over the course of the next year, don't just focus on getting to know people who are extroverted and have large circles of friends. Get to know loners and introverts. Then, come Thanksgiving, invite them over for a small get-together or potluck (or even order out or just do chips and football). I bet you can, in one year, find at least ONE other dude to hang out with on Thanksgiving if you wanted to. Good luck!
I have always spent Thanksgiving with at least my immediate family, but I'm having a tough time this year with life in general and some specifics that I won't get into for fear of derailing the thread, so I am spending today alone. I'm sad about it, but the other options don't sound that great either. It's just one day. I'll probably go to a movie or marathon Gilmore Girls or something. I don't think it will be that bad, I spend a lot of time - I need a lot of time alone.
Suggestion: go to a post-Thanksgiving Black Friday (on Thursday) shopping event and you will no longer want to be around people. Ever again.
It is probably a good year to miss. One of my siblings is very political and very disappointed this year. I don't want to hear it.
I would pretend to be very sympathetic and have him/her really tell me about how upset and disappointed they were and then, five minutes in, just burst into laughter for a while and then say "go on ...."
My 3 kids are scattered in different countries - and I haven't had a Christmas or any other holiday with any of them in decades anyway. I will definitely be totally alone.
I simply cannot understand this. Not spending a holiday with ANY of your THREE kids... for "decades"? Do you all hate each other or something?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
