Have you ever stepped on it?? (male, Christmas, house, business)
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First, you haven't seen or talked to this person in 25 years! You should have started with a simple "Hello" first and then see if she even replied to that. To go full out asking about why she doesn't have children....Moderator cut: delete
Last edited by Miss Blue; 03-17-2017 at 04:40 PM..
Reason: Fb complaint
First, you haven't seen or talked to this person in 25 years! You should have started with a simple "Hello" first and then see if she even replied to that. To go full out asking about why she doesn't have children.....I would have blocked you. Just my honest opinion. But I'm not on FB simply for this type of crap that happens.
The OP clarified later in this thread that they were talking back and forth for some time before this came up.
OP, it's a mistake, just move on and learn from it. It's obviously a subject this person doesn't feel comfortable discussing yet (or ever) with you.
Anyway, so I was pregnant with our first child and she said, "Oh, if it's a boy, have you considered the name Bernard?" and I said, "Bernard? No. That name reminds me of a dog."
She looked at her new daughter in law very flatly and said, "Bernard was the name of my baby who died."
When I was working for the airlines a guy friend and I were at Starbucks and he asked the barista when her baby was due... she got this weird look on her face and said, I am not pregnant. When the drinks were ready I went up around get them ( he was too embarrassed.)
I've done that as well. Years ago, I asked a new assistant (who had been hired for me while I was on vacation), when her baby was due (I was also concerned that she would be taking a leave fairly soon and wondered why they had hired her). She glared at me and said, "I'm not pregnant!" I apologized, but I was embarrassed and figuratively kicking myself. She did look about 6 months pregnant though and she was very slender other than that.
When I was sixteen, I was walking down the street with one of my girlfriends and she saw two boys across the street and shouted a hello. One was very unattractive, sloppily dressed and slurping noisily from a can of soda. I said, "How do you know them? God, that guy is so repulsive. Do you have a class with him?" She said, "That's my brother." So, I quickly said, "Oh no, not him, I meant the other guy."
ohhh the humdingers that have come out of my mouth!! Luckily I have plenty of rocks to crawl under where I live!
Mostly though I get to be on the other side as folks engage mouth before brain.
I'm less inclined to think twice....in due time the person crawls under the rock and I give them a gentle smile of...Hmmmm....
One guy at my work place was bashing a particular faith....I let him rant and asked certain leading questions. when he was done I walked away...A few days later we were out to lunch and one of the Nuns who was my teacher approached our table. the co worker looked agasp. I introduced her to the team, and made a gracious effort to make sure that the one guy was front and center. He didn't eat dessert, the humble pie filled him up!
When I was working for the airlines a guy friend and I were at Starbucks and he asked the barista when her baby was due... she got this weird look on her face and said, I am not pregnant. When the drinks were ready I went up around get them ( he was too embarrassed.)
I had an awful habit of doing this when my kids were babies and I was still all goo-goo eyes for babies. I am glad I returned to my pre-kid phase that the only kids I like are the ones that are related by blood... and I do not ask random fat women when they are due.
I think we all suffer from foot in mouth disease from time to time. Honestly I wouldn't want to meet the person who didn't. Perfect people scare me. Go ahead and mess up. I'll forgive you.
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
2,492 posts, read 3,030,408 times
Reputation: 3911
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
I checked the message in messager and there was a little check symbol on the far. I assume that means it was viewed, not sure. We were long time friends after high school we went to the same college and even though we weren't in a relationship then we traveled in the same circles. For her to just blow me off seems odd. Not mad just saying. I did say that she didn't need to answer. I just sorta figured that that she'd say that she just doesn't want to talk about it. Again, not angry or anything remotely like that. Frankly it isn't my business, but since we were talking about various things already that I thought that it was in the realm of friendly banter back and forth.
She might not have seen your message. Messenger takes up a big chunk of space on a phone. I know several people who have it but don't have it running on their phone,especially cheaper models. Also the check just shows that you sent the message and it was received on her account. Once the person reads the message the check turns into their profile pic thumbnail and will usually say"seen". Have you talked with her through messenger before or any since this?
How do those messages show on your phone?
Many, many times. It happens to everyone. Just the other day, I said "see you later" to a blind person. Ughhhh.
The worst I've ever done, was when we had one of beloved babies (dogs) put down. She had a life long fear of cars, so I had a mobile vet come to the house. I had not used that vet before. When it was done, the vet needed help carrying my girl out to her truck, as our dogs were very large. I said to my DH & the vet, "yeah, not only is she a big dog, but it's all dead weight". I was just using "dead weight" as a phrase. Only a few hours later, did it sink in, what I had said. I was mortified. Not so much w/my husband, as he understood I didn't mean anything by it, but this stranger vet. I hope she understood that in my grief, I simply used the term that's used when something is extra-heavy b/c their inertia is not helping in the lifting process. I'm still haunted by it, even tho' it was 10 yrs ago. How could I have said something so stupid & insensitive?
In the OP's case, I guess that's one of those questions, that I've learned is never ok to ask anyone. But then again, I don't find it the least bit unusual that the woman didn't have kids. I'm in my 50's & don't have kids. Most of my friends are in their 50's & 60's & don't have kids. Child bearers are a minority in my social circle. So, I don't think twice about someone not having them & my automatic assumption would be that they didn't want them. I would never ask though b/c some people want kids & can't have them, so I would find it an intrusive question to ask someone. That said, I get asked ALL the time. So, OP, it's obviously a question you won't ask in the future, but I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. LOTS of people ask it. Your friend obviously didn't want to answer & she didn't, she's moved on. I doubt she's harboring any anger towards you for asking.
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