Am I in the wrong to feel insulted by this? (female, male)

[fleetiebelle]

I shudder to think how the OP reacts to one of these old ladies pushing homemade baked goods at him, or the cashier asking if he wants to open up a credit card or the guy on the corner who wants him to sign a petition. Do they not even care that he is a human being? Oh, the humanity!

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist

That's very true. Someone else said the exact same thing earlier. I believe it was Ruth4Truth

Hunh? Me? No, that's not what I said. I made a vague reference to what I have to deal with in Russia., But it's completely different. I get women who are around 40+ asking me how old I am, and then, sounding extremely concerned, telling me I'm getting along in years, so I need to "hurry up", basically. They never say what I have to hurry up to do and why. The implication is that I'm getting past the normal childbearing years, so I'd better hurry up and use the plumbing I was born with before it's too late. It took me years to figure this out, because nothing was stated overtly. I suspect they have a belief that women need to have at least one pregnancy in order to maintain good health, or something. If you don't use your plumbing for the purpose it was intended, some awful fate or illness will befall you later in life. In spite of the fact that I'm there in an official capacity, I get this kind of personal inquiry and commentary frequently. Not even by grandmothers, necessarily.

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

I shudder to think how the OP reacts to one of these old ladies pushing homemade baked goods at him, or the cashier asking if he wants to open up a credit card or the guy on the corner who wants him to sign a petition. Do they not even care that he is a human being? Oh, the humanity!

Y'all are going off on your own tangents and being ridiculous now. BIG difference in a clerk and ONE offer for baked goods and having someone pushed on you when you've already declined several times.

[MinivanDriver]

Originally Posted by The Dissenter

Y'all are going off on your own tangents and being ridiculous now. BIG difference in a clerk and ONE offer for baked goods and having someone pushed on you when you've already declined several times.

Well, the most likely explanation is that the elderly women have spotty memories. I mean, I realize that Mooo is the paragon of sophistication and all, that angels weep at his transcendent presence, that women swoon at his passing down the street, and that the very laws of physics are suspended on his behalf, but it is a strong possibility that the babushka in question might not actually remember the guy from one visit to the next.

Heck, with that in mind, they might view any man who isn't coughing up phlegm and scratching his nethers as a latter-day Burt Reynolds, or as much as they can make out squinting through thick spectacles. In that sense, I bet the UPS man gets all kinds of offers, and not to marry their granddaughters either. As in, "C'mon, Angel, give grandma something to smile about in her old age."

I mean, hell, the last time I visited my grandmother, she kept thinking I was my Uncle Harry, even though she didn't struggle with dementia or Alzheimers. Harry was thirty years older, five inches taller, and bald as a cue ball. So, in his heart of hearts, perhaps that's what's really eating at him. When I visit my 83-year-old mother, she pretty much has to go down the roll call of her sons before she hits on my name and remembers.

Meanwhile, getting snarled at? I bet that's something they didn't forget.

[Auraliea]

I wouldn't be insulted, but I would feel a little annoyed if it was happening on a consistent basis.

I deal with my mother's friends trying to set me up with their sons all the time. My friends are also always trying to set me up and talk about how I'm deluding myself into thinking I'm happy without a man. My mom says it's a compliment and I do see it that way sometimes, but after a while it gets old. I know my family and friends just want to see me happy. But I want to find my happiness without a partner. All you can do is stand your ground and be firm with them.

Also, some of these folks need to stop with the Millennial BS, it starting to come off as very bitter and cranky.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by Auraliea

I wouldn't be insulted, but I would feel a little annoyed if it was happening on a consistent basis.

I deal with my mother's friends trying to set me up with their sons all the time. My friends are also always trying to set me up and talk about how I'm deluding myself into thinking I'm happy without a man. My mom says it's a compliment and I do see it that way sometimes, but after a while it gets old. I know my family and friends just want to see me happy. But I want to find my happiness without a partner. All you can do is stand your ground and be firm with them.

Also, some of these folks need to stop with the Millennial BS, it starting to come off as very bitter and cranky.

EVERYONE should find happiness, or contentment at least, without a partner, first! Otherwise, they're likely to be very disappointed in marriage, when, after the dust settles, they discover that marriage (at 22 or 24 or 19, no less, as Aurelia says is the custom where she lives) is not the be-all, end-all.


You GO, girl! Very sensible and wise.

[MinivanDriver]

Originally Posted by Auraliea

I wouldn't be insulted, but I would feel a little annoyed if it was happening on a consistent basis.

I deal with my mother's friends trying to set me up with their sons all the time. My friends are also always trying to set me up and talk about how I'm deluding myself into thinking I'm happy without a man. My mom says it's a compliment and I do see it that way sometimes, but after a while it gets old. I know my family and friends just want to see me happy. But I want to find my happiness without a partner. All you can do is stand your ground and be firm with them.

Hey. While I'm giving MU a ration of well-deserved grief, no one has the right to tell you that you have no value in the world without being in a relationship. Just keep doing what you're doing.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

I shudder to think how the OP reacts to one of these old ladies pushing homemade baked goods at him, or the cashier asking if he wants to open up a credit card or the guy on the corner who wants him to sign a petition. Do they not even care that he is a human being? Oh, the humanity!

Another E European favorite--"You're too thin. Eat, EAT!"

[The Dissenter]

Originally Posted by Auraliea

I wouldn't be insulted, but I would feel a little annoyed if it was happening on a consistent basis.

I deal with my mother's friends trying to set me up with their sons all the time. My friends are also always trying to set me up and talk about how I'm deluding myself into thinking I'm happy without a man. My mom says it's a compliment and I do see it that way sometimes, but after a while it gets old. I know my family and friends just want to see me happy. But I want to find my happiness without a partner. All you can do is stand your ground and be firm with them.

Also, some of these folks need to stop with the Millennial BS, it starting to come off as very bitter and cranky.

If you've declined a few times, then a compliment my a$&! It is harassment. The lesson of this thread IMO, take a hint when someone says not interested.

[jerseygal4u]

I would personally take it as an insult,but i am a woman.

I felt insulted when other women would try to hook me up with men that they know were either bums or no good men.

It was never a man that would have been "worth it".

Like I am supposed to date any man,just because.

What about his income,shared interests,credit profile,ambition,etc