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We're definitely friendly with all the neighbors. We talk to them on a regular basis if we see each other outside. We all wave when we drive past one another outside. We have a list of all the names, phone numbers, and e-mail addresses of all seven houses on our cul-de-sac. We also know most of the people on the street leading to the cul-de-sac. We've lived here four years and we've attended neighborhood meetings to organize ourselves against a common issue in the area. We are sort of like an informal neighborhood watch. We often are given keys to a neighbor's home to water their house plants and check things while they're gone. We do the same with our petsitter from the neighborhood. 3 houses have no basement, so in a tornado warning, they know they can call a neighbor who does have one and take shelter, by our prior arrangements. We also go in on renting equipment, like a lawn aerator and everybody who wants to pays part of the rental and take turns using it that day.
We are friendly with the neighbors, but beyond a few close houses, we do not know their names. We only occasionally socialize with one family - our daughters are the same age. We do take care of vacation mail, watering the plants and snow blowing for the closest neighbors at various times as they have done for us. There is a nice mix of retired, older and younger families.
The neighborhood is quite nice in that you can find help if you need it, but nobody is in your face. We like it.
Sometimes when part of a couple dies, friends stay away for stupid reasons like they are afraid you will try to snag their spouses. My mother was still beautiful at 74 when my stepfather died. She looked 20 years younger than all their friends but she never flirted or anything like that after she was widowed but she was invited to less and less get togethers. Then there are the couples who see what happened to you and don't want the daily reminder of their own mortality.
Actually I did hear this from a widows group I visit once in awhile. Same goes for when he had cancer for four years. People just stayed away. Which some times was a good thing. Other times so isolating. And yes she might have fear of me going after her husband even though I told her months before my husband died I had no intention of looking for some one to replace him. I absolutely respect marriage vows and honestly have no interest. I am done collecting belts wallets and wedding rings. This is the second time I have been widowed by cancer and I just can not do it again. And in the two years before hubby died I lost 90 pounds, because I NEEDED to. Hubby was very proud of me and I am maintaining that loss. Not at all hard when I no longer have to do meals for us and can eat only when I am hungry.
this is the first house we've ever owned. the neighbors are all older who've lived there for decades. my husband and i are pretty friendly and outgoing. we've gotten to know most everyone. what surprises me is that none of these neighbors seem to talk to each other at all. one family after living there for 25 years moved last weekend. we went over to bring some dessert and say goodbye and they said we were the only one to do so! i was kinda shocked! these people have lived in the same neighborhood for decades, their kids were friends when young and grew up together. but there's no friendships or relationships. is that common?
Not in Alabama (or at least in any areas of Alabama that I have lived in). We've usually gotten to know everyone on our street in all of our homes. In our current home our kids get off the bus by themselves while we are still at work. The neighbors are mostly retired and our next door neighbor sits on his front steps every day to make sure they get inside. When the weather gets bad and we haven't made it home, the neighbors go sit with our kids, or take them to their house so they aren't bothered by the weather.
When we go on vacation they check on and feed/water our pets (and vice versa). Sometimes when I am cutting my grass I'll go ahead and cut the neighbor's grass too since they have some difficulty in the heat at times. Heck, our neighbor treats our pool while we are gone so that it's still clean when we get back home.
We've learned over the years that having good neighbors means to be a good neighbor yourself. And by doing that we have a small little community that watches out for each other. It's fantastic. I couldn't imagine living somewhere where everyone is a stranger all the time.
Maybe it's a generational thing? Older people are more friendly with their neighbors? Have you guys found that to be true or not?
No, I don't think that is the case in our situation. We are approaching "retirement age" ourselves, & most of our neighbors are 5-10+ years older than us & fully retired.
Just an unrelated comment...that had to be so traumatizing for you, a widow with 2 babies...I can't imagine.
Honestly, it's better that way. Imagine you want to live there for 30 years, and you started to be friendly with the guy next door who presumably also won't be moving for 30 years, and he starts to get overly friendly in whatever way.
Now you have a really uncomfortable situation to deal with.
The real world is not like the Little House on the Prairie where neighbors all show up for the harvest with their tools and food and then go home and leave you alone.
The real world is full of people who will take advantage of you, or if you let them into your life will start interjecting their opinions that you don't want or whatever.
Unless you are seriously out in the wilderness and will die without the cooperation of your closest neighbors (and even then, don't rely on it), you are really way better off socializing outside of your neighborhood, and calling AAA if your battery dies on your car.
Call me a curmudgeon, if you like, but I'm speaking from experience. It's way easier to just always keep new people at bay, than try to get rid of them after making the mistake of letting them into your life and regretting it - especially if they live next door.
You sir, need a good therapist. Get the best.
For your consideration: if everyone thinks like you, can society still exist? Even "family" has no future.
Human kind is where it is, only because we live in society and are part of a family. Could the cave men survive if living in your style?
shades_of_idaho, you sound like a blast! Wish YOU were my neighbor...I promise to not peek over the fence!
Hahaha I was just considering mowing the lawns in a bikini. NO I DO NOT HAVE A BIKINI. LOL Maybe add a little fuel to the fire. I some what blocked the over the fence view with a great big bottle tree with wind spinners on top. She glared at me the other day when I mowed at the far end of my yard where their fence does not hide her. Such anger and it really is sad. She had no place to sew in their 12 by 40 ancient trailer the kind with less than 2 inch walls. Before hubby died I offered her to come use my sewing room any time. they have no internet. I have WIFI and also offered them to come over and use it any time until they get back on their feet. Even offeded a lap top to use. They are recovering, maybe, from a big financial crash.
I wave to my neighbors and we might chat if we are outside at the same time or when the dogs are out, etc. There is only one person I'm semi regular about talking to and that's because she talks to everyone else and it's how I keep up with whatever's happening! We aren't really FRIENDS but we went to the theater twice in 15 years! LOL!
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