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I know I shouldn't tell her I have feelings for her but I do want to distance myself from her. I stopped texting her. But if she starts to notice I am distancing myself I feel I should just be honest. I don't want to lie and say the usual "Oh I have just been too busy." Plus maybe it would be best if I just tell her just to relieve myself, even if I do destroy our friendship. I was thinking of just telling her something like "Well I want to give you some distance because you have a boyfriend and it wouldn't be right for me to hang out with you when I have a crush on you." Thoughts?
"if she starts to notice" So, she hasn't commented yet? Maybe just keep doing what you are, and it will handle itself. I don't know that a big "show-down" is necessary.....Why not keep your feelings for a future ace in the hole....one never knows....she could have a change of heart and if you have a falling out now, and no contact you won't be there in the future.
That said, only you know your heart. If it is truly time to give up and move on, do so.....but I still don't recommend a big final scene with you declaring your love, yet riding off into the sunset......just do a fade so that you can still be friends. Good luck
I know I shouldn't tell her I have feelings for her but I do want to distance myself from her. I stopped texting her. But if she starts to notice I am distancing myself I feel I should just be honest. I don't want to lie and say the usual "Oh I have just been too busy." Plus maybe it would be best if I just tell her just to relieve myself, even if I do destroy our friendship. I was thinking of just telling her something like "Well I want to give you some distance because you have a boyfriend and it wouldn't be right for me to hang out with you when I have a crush on you." Thoughts?
Of course, you should say it. And you should say the way a man does, by looking her in the eyes. Not with an e-mail, not with a text, and for God's sake not with some intermediary. God, that's as bad as passing a note in gym class.
Instead, behave like an adult and tell her the unvarnished truth. She should completely respect you for it and, quite frankly, it might work out in your favor. Because boyfriends come and go. And, while I'm a person of faith, God does not put people together. That's your job.
If you just disappear from a friendship you leave the other person wondering what happened and what they did wrong. It's cruel. I ended a friendship last December and I gave her a detailed reason why I was disappointed in her. I also told her that we were not enemies, and I meant that. I saw her in a store a while back and she ran up and hugged me. We had a friendly chat and she went her way and I went mine. She knows exactly what she's dealing with and I think that's the kindest way to handle the end of a friendship without causing more pain then necessary. Yes it's a tad different between a man and a woman when one has feelings but the other does not. Your friend stated that she thought of you as a brother, you in turn want more, and that can be torture. I understand that, but, your friend didn't ask for you to have those feelings. You in turn can't help it. The heart wants what the heart wants. Friends who are adults can talk about these things and find a solution. It might mean you taking a break until those feelings subside, which they will in time. Why destroy a good friendship? Tell her you're taking a break and exactly why you're taking a break. It doesn't mean that you won't find your way back together as friends some day. If you disappear without giving her a reason you risk closing that door forever. Honesty is the best policy.
I know I shouldn't tell her I have feelings for her but I do want to distance myself from her. I stopped texting her. But if she starts to notice I am distancing myself I feel I should just be honest. I don't want to lie and say the usual "Oh I have just been too busy." Plus maybe it would be best if I just tell her just to relieve myself, even if I do destroy our friendship. I was thinking of just telling her something like "Well I want to give you some distance because you have a boyfriend and it wouldn't be right for me to hang out with you when I have a crush on you." Thoughts?
Wow. This is your best friend. Why hurt her by distancing yourself without explaining to her why. The only thing is that you risk losing her completely by disclosing your feelings for her, if she doesn't feel the same way for you.
If you just disappear from a friendship you leave the other person wondering what happened and what they did wrong. It's cruel. I ended a friendship last December and I gave her a detailed reason why I was disappointed in her. I also told her that we were not enemies, and I meant that. I saw her in a store a while back and she ran up and hugged me. We had a friendly chat and she went her way and I went mine. She knows exactly what she's dealing with and I think that's the kindest way to handle the end of a friendship without causing more pain then necessary. Yes it's a tad different between a man and a woman when one has feelings but the other does not. Your friend stated that she thought of you as a brother, you in turn want more, and that can be torture. I understand that, but, your friend didn't ask for you to have those feelings. You in turn can't help it. The heart wants what the heart wants. Friends who are adults can talk about these things and find a solution. It might mean you taking a break until those feelings subside, which they will in time. Why destroy a good friendship? Tell her you're taking a break and exactly why you're taking a break. It doesn't mean that you won't find your way back together as friends some day. If you disappear without giving her a reason you risk closing that door forever. Honesty is the best policy.
Awesome advice, @animalcrazy Now I know if I need advice who to turn to!
Thanks for the advice to those who replied. I know I should just be honest with her. I stopped texting her but if she texts me or something I might just have to tell her unless I get over her or maybe at least I get these feelings under control. It was so confusing at first because she says she sees me as a brother. But then when we took a day trip to NYC she grabbed my arm for like five seconds and said "We should go to the Museum of Sex" one day. And she keeps telling me how handsome I am.
Thanks for the advice to those who replied. I know I should just be honest with her. I stopped texting her but if she texts me or something I might just have to tell her unless I get over her or maybe at least I get these feelings under control. It was so confusing at first because she says she sees me as a brother. But then when we took a day trip to NYC she grabbed my arm for like five seconds and said "We should go to the Museum of Sex" one day. And she keeps telling me how handsome I am.
And you should have replied telling her to go with her BOYFRIEND.
So she is your female best friend. Is she your only best friend? And are you her best friend? I am sad for her that her boyfriend isn't her best friend instead.
What does he make of your close friendship with her? Why isn't he jealous of you?
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Now I know if I need advice who to turn to! 
