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I have many female friends. They all have one thing in common- I was never attracted to them and possibly vice-versa. It's a different dynamic than my male friends, but women and men- despite what some say- are different.
Besides, the best way for the randy male to meet single women is through other women. Most women know lots of other women after all.
But as I said before, when the dynamic is as the OP describes, it's time to lay the cards on the table and cash out if necessary.
It's a shame that some men only befriend women they are attracted to. I think it is dishonest. "Hey I'm only friends with you because I think you're hot and I don't have the guts to ask you out or I think you are not that into me." Because I wonder if these guys would be close friends with an unattractive girl.
I think you don't need to give a reason, OP. She knows how you feel. If she asks, maybe you give an explanation, but I think just politely distancing yourself is perfectly fine.
It's a shame that some men only befriend women they are attracted to. I think it is dishonest. "Hey I'm only friends with you because I think you're hot and I don't have the guts to ask you out or I think you are not that into me." Because I wonder if these guys would be close friends with an unattractive girl.
I'd sit down with her one on one with no possible distractions.
Start off with, "I really trust your judgement and I need some direction as to what I should do. I have a very close friend who I'm growing more and more fond of all the time. I don't want to ruin our relationship, but I'm not sure how she'll handle knowing I've got a thing for her... what do you suggest I do?
See how she reacts and go from there.
When she asks who in the beginning, don't tell her.
When she asks who at the end, hold up a mirror to her.
Good luck.
It's a shame that some men only befriend women they are attracted to. I think it is dishonest. "Hey I'm only friends with you because I think you're hot and I don't have the guts to ask you out or I think you are not that into me." Because I wonder if these guys would be close friends with an unattractive girl.
Have you really never seen 'When Harry Met Sally'?
It is about the most truthful film about male-female relationships ever made.
Thanks for the advice to those who replied. I know I should just be honest with her. I stopped texting her but if she texts me or something I might just have to tell her unless I get over her or maybe at least I get these feelings under control. It was so confusing at first because she says she sees me as a brother. But then when we took a day trip to NYC she grabbed my arm for like five seconds and said "We should go to the Museum of Sex" one day. And she keeps telling me how handsome I am.
She is manipulating you. Find some other female friends. She regards you as a fall back guy. Surely you have more self respect than to play along!
Have you really never seen 'When Harry Met Sally'?
It is about the most truthful film about male-female relationships ever made.
I was thinking about that movie too..
I married a guy that I put in the "friend zone" for 6 months.
I needed time to move beyond that and if he had refused we would have been history.
I think being friends first can be a great foundation to beginning a romantic relationship.
Not the only way, but it can work.
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