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She's not flaky. Something bad must have happened.
I hope you're wrong but you could be right. I don't think you were wrong to be concerned. There are people in my life whose character and habits I know well enough that if they just fell out of contact, I should check on them.
But on the flip side, I also know a few relatives and acquaintances who like isolation and to be left alone. So if I don't hear from them, I don't get concerned since I know that's just how they prefer to live.
It all depends on how the person was before they dropped out of contact. Knowing your friend as you did, you were very right to realize it was out of character for her to just disappear and it was smart of you to try to make sure she was ok.
I hate stories of people being in danger, injured, very sick, or dead but no one noticed or cared for days or weeks that they were missing.
But I guess at this point, you've done all you can do. Now that the sister went so far as to block you, time to drop the search and inquiries. Only thing left for you to do is pray for your friend.
Last edited by TruckWife518; 06-29-2017 at 02:08 PM..
I asked earlier, why don't you go to her house? Even just to drive by. Maybe there's a for sale sign, moving van, police tape...
The only other thing I can think of is that you misinterpreted the friendship and the plans this week. And if you truly did have plans, did you go and she didn't show up?
I asked earlier, why don't you go to her house? Even just to drive by. Maybe there's a for sale sign, moving van, police tape...
The only other thing I can think of is that you misinterpreted the friendship and the plans this week. And if you truly did have plans, did you go and she didn't show up?
No I have not gone by yet.
No I didn't misinterpret. We spoke regularly every week. I didn't go out because she didn't return my messages.
I would not do anything. She clearly does not want to be contacted, respect her wishes. She's obviously alive, as someone is shutting down the accounts. When someone passes away, social media accounts often don't get shut down at all, or if they do, it's typically not immediate. In the cases I know of, the accounts actually stay up for years, acting as a remembrance of the person.
I guess I've learned that even with family, even with really close friends, you often don't know what is really going on in their lives. You only know what people want to share & it doesn't sound like you were close friends, so I suspect you don't know what kind of crisis they could be facing. To me, shutting down the various accts is a clear sign that they wish to be incommunicado. I would absolutely not contact someone's work or family members, period, unless it was family or a super close friend & even then, I would be very reluctant. People have all kinds of sh%t going on in their lives that they don't tell others about. I don't think it's about you OP, but I do think you were pushing too hard. That's just me, I tend to go for the most logical conclusions, rather than assuming something really bad happened. I understand why your life experiences may lead you to another conclusion.
She's obviously alive, as someone is shutting down the accounts.
I'm not sure about that. If, God forbid, her husband did something bad to her and he also knows her passwords, he could be the person responsible for shutting down the accounts.
I'd go to her house and stake it out. Sit there for awhile and see if you see anyone come/go. I'd do this out of curiosity more than anything else. lol I guess I'm a stalker.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TruckWife518
I'm not sure about that. If, God forbid, her husband did something bad to her and he also knows her passwords, he could be the person responsible for shutting down the accounts.
Maybe he murdered the sister too and blocked OP from the sister's account.
It just baffles me why someone would block you after simply asking if her sister was alright. That isn't block worthy in my book. I'd be glad if someone cared enough to check with me if they were concerned about my sister.
If the sister doesn't know who the OP is, she might've thought something shady was up.
I don't mean to frighten anyone but the "freezing" of a Facebook account is a telltale sign of law enforcement requesting access to said account. Facebook "freezes" the account upon request so that nothing can be added or deleted prior to law enforcement taking a look at whatever it is they want to see (contrary to popular belief there is no super-account that the cops or the Feds can use to spy on people, everything has to go through channels and FB is big on user privacy ... even when the request comes from alphabet agencies). It sounds to me like your friend and/or friend's spouse could be either victims or suspects in a criminal investigation.
That said, I applaud you for being a good friend and you have every right to be concerned when a friend misses a date or suddenly cuts off contact. I would be too. And I would certainly hope that my friends would care enough about me to get to the bottom of things if similar circumstances happened with me randomly cutting off contact or missing out on a pre-planned event that I committed too.
As for your friend's sister blocking you. Either this is a tough time for the family and she blocked you for whatever reason, or she just saw an unfamiliar name and blocked your account ... she may not have even seen your message. Facebook messages from someone who isn't a friend go into a different inbox (called "Message Requests" - I would imagine 75% of FB users don't even know it's there).
I would contact your local law enforcement agency. Maybe something happened and a detective will get in touch with you. Who knows. The "freezing" of the account before it was deleted is IMO a worrying sign. If her account was just deleted I would say to leave it alone but something obviously happened to your friend and I think you should look into it.
OP, I hope you do get an answer soon. I agree this sounds a bit weird. Reading your account of the situation, I don't think you were over-communicating initially when you and your friend had plans to meet up on Tuesday--if anything, I think it's strange that at no point did she respond to say, "Yes, we're still on," or "No, I can't make it." The deleted FB accounts of both her *and* her husband seems strange as well. Going from "Let's have lunch!" to "Gone completely incommunicado" as fast as she did is odd.
The sister blocking you could have been for a number of reasons, ranging from she didn't know who you were (if a name I didn't recognize suddenly asked me about *my* sister, I'd probably do an immediate block as well, presuming it to be a potential hacker), to your friend telling her sister, "If anybody asks about me, do not respond in any way whatsoever," and the sister obeying that request to the letter.
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