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What she knows is most likely that her sister and BIL informed her that they are being aggressively pursued by you.
OP, I get you're concerned and realize I'm in the minority here with my opinion.
It's one of two things, either your friend is aware of the lengths you'll go to when feeling slighted, so was afraid to cancel plans, decided to disappear and hoped for the best. The contacting of her husband, family members, employer, and now driving by her house, speaks to that concern.
Or, something awful has happened, but given her solid social unit (husband, sister, colleagues, friends) her immediate circle know what happened and are caring for whatever that is. At some point they may reach out to her outer social circle and let you know what is going on.
What? What are you talking about? I don't think the OP left hateful threatening texts. If someone can't just say "hey, I really can't go out on Tuesday night" and than tells everyone they know to block the OP from their Facebook accounts, that person needs help. It's not that difficult to say you can't make it, people don't even have to say it, they can just text it. That's much less trouble than telling everyone you know to block/not reply to someone.
OP, just read your original thread again. Have you ever seen this person since you stopped working together? You said you kept in contact through texting and social media, but have you ever actually gotten together with her since you no longer worked together?
As another poster said previously, I would drive by at a time when most people would be in bed (oh say, 10pm on a "work night") and if your friend's car is still not there I would contact your local law enforcement agency the next morning.
From what you've said I think there is a bit more to this than a friend wanting to move on. I am guessing there is a marital issue. I don't think JustJazzy chased away her friend or whatever silly theory people have. Reasonable people don't make plans and then bail on them without explanation ... and then vanish.
What? What are you talking about? I don't think the OP left hateful threatening texts. If someone can't just say "hey, I really can't go out on Tuesday night" and than tells everyone they know to block the OP from their Facebook accounts, that person needs help. It's not that difficult to say you can't make it, people don't even have to say it, they can just text it. That's much less trouble than telling everyone you know to block/not reply to someone.
OP, just read your original thread again. Have you ever seen this person since you stopped working together? You said you kept in contact through texting and social media, but have you ever actually gotten together with her since you no longer worked together?
Yes a few times. We both work a lot and are married so don't have the time I had when I was 25. And we are both homebodies.
The lengths I will go to? What are you talking about? I'm fine with someone cancelling plans! It happens all the time. Lol. What a ridiculous response. I don't even know what else to say to that. Wow.
When someone you care about drops off the face of the earth and ends up dead in a trash bag it can change you. I would hope someone that cares about me would be concerned if I stopped contact for no reason. They didn't remove their accounts because of me. Unreal.
They might not have removed their accounts because of you, but they seemed to have put you on limited profile (what you saw when you only saw their profile pics and headlines) and then blocked you. If they blocked you, then it would look to you as if they deleted their accounts.
I get that there are two very different ways of seeing this. You are showing your concern. I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong for thinking that. But from where I sit, I would be VERY concerned if someone was calling my house, contacting my spouse and family, calling my work, and then driving by my house. Like I said, I had this happen to me before and it turned into a harassment/stalking incident. That might not be your intention, but you may be unintentionally really creeping the family out through your concern. Of course, this all would be moot had anyone actually said something to you, but lots of people these days seem to lack basic courtesy or communication skills.
Look, I get it, someone should have said something to you. You may have been a friend, but you weren't a close friend as indicated by not knowing the name of her best friend or other friends. Who knows what happened, but at this point, from where I sit (and I know I'm in the minority), you are really crossing a line. The family should have told you to leave them alone, but in lieu of any communication skills, I can't imagine any more clear of a message than three members of the family blocking you.
They might not have removed their accounts because of you, but they seemed to have put you on limited profile (what you saw when you only saw their profile pics and headlines) and then blocked you. If they blocked you, then it would look to you as if they deleted their accounts.
I get that there are two very different ways of seeing this. You are showing your concern. I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong for thinking that. But from where I sit, I would be VERY concerned if someone was calling my house, contacting my spouse and family, calling my work, and then driving by my house. Like I said, I had this happen to me before and it turned into a harassment/stalking incident. That might not be your intention, but you may be unintentionally really creeping the family out through your concern. Of course, this all would be moot had anyone actually said something to you, but lots of people these days seem to lack basic courtesy or communication skills.
Look, I get it, someone should have said something to you. You may have been a friend, but you weren't a close friend as indicated by not knowing the name of her best friend or other friends. Who knows what happened, but at this point, from where I sit (and I know I'm in the minority), you are really crossing a line. The family should have told you to leave them alone, but in lieu of any communication skills, I can't imagine any more clear of a message than three members of the family blocking you.
Can some people here not read or something? They didn't block me - both her and her husbands accounts were deleted or deactivated. It's not her character to not answer a text. But if that's the case - all this to avoid me. She is the weirdo. Not me.
Please....people who kill someone, and especially out of anger do stupid stuff all the time. That's how they get caught, seen on camera at Home Depot buying a shovel and garbage bags after they report their wife missing. They're in panic mode, even the ones who plan it out usually get caught due to something stupid(they use their cell phone and the tower shows they weren't where they said they were).
If someone is having a difficult time than a simple text message without saying what the issue is what you do. Because if you really want to be left alone, going MIA with no explanation isn't the way to do it. I realize common sense is no longer in fashion, but if you want to be left alone just tell people and they will back off.
Not returning texts, not showing up when you're supposed to, that's how you get attention.
I really don't get this no communication. It's very easy today, it's not like when you actually had to call someone and say "hey, don't want to hang out with you anymore", you can text it.
And a text telling someone you want privacy will with most people give them the hint to leave you alone, it beats having the cops at your door doing a wellness check at 11pm because you couldn't take 5 seconds to send a text.
That is true, some killers do stupid things. But the odds are still very strongly in favor of the friend simply not wanting contact anymore due to some sort of private matter, not that the friend is actually missing or dead. I feel like I'm watching a TV show with all the speculation & overreaction & trying to solve the 'mystery'. People go 'missing' all the time & the vast majority of them, simply do not want contact with those looking for them.
I've had occasion in the last few years to try & make a number of new friends (new city) & several have totally ghosted like this, including one I had upcoming plans with. It's not uncommon. I agree that it's easy to send a text or communicate, but many people simply don't. After a couple of attempts to find out what's going on, I leave it alone. They obviously don't want to hear from me. It's rude, it's thoughtless, it's inconsiderate, yet people do it all the time. Adult people too, not 20 yo's. Apparently they are too afraid to be honest, so they think it's just easier to disappear. It's frustrating & annoying.
I get that I'm in the minority, but I see contacting family, work & neighbors as prying into something that isn't your business. Perhaps I misunderstood, but I read the OP as having a very casual & occasional real life relationship with the "missing" friend. I did not read it as them being close friends at all. More like an occasional lunch friend. I understand that she's worried, but the truth is she may never find out what happened. To me, this seems like a very deliberate attempt to cut off contact, esp now with the sister blocking her too & I would leave it alone.
And to whoever repped me, I disagree. We're all entitled to our opinion.
Can some people here not read or something? They didn't block me - both her and her husbands accounts were deleted or deactivated. It's not her character to not answer a text. But if that's the case - all this to avoid me. She is the weirdo. Not me.
How do you know they were deleted versus you being blocked?
Can some people here not read or something? They didn't block me - both her and her husbands accounts were deleted or deactivated. It's not her character to not answer a text. But if that's the case - all this to avoid me. She is the weirdo. Not me.
How do you know that? Depending on the platform, it can look exactly like an account was deleted, when someone is blocked. How do you know that it was actually deleted? And what do you mean by "all this"? There really is no all this, if in fact, they were simply blocking you, then they blocked you & didn't answer your text. That's not really an "all this", that's 2 very simple steps that anyone ghosting, would take.
ETA: Oops, typing at the same time as the above poster.
Yes a few times. We both work a lot and are married so don't have the time I had when I was 25. And we are both homebodies.
OK, thanks.
So this isn't a case of where you just talked online for a year and suggested an outing for the first time since you worked together, she has second thoughts about it and doesn't have enough manners or backbone to just say "changed my mind, can't make it".
It is very odd.
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