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Okay, so I'm about 1 year out from retiring with my husband who is 9 years older than me. He's pretty close to the age one would retire at while not being too old. Because I'm younger, people who I thought were my "friends" and made the mistake of sharing this bit of information to when the subject was brought up, are now constantly say I'm too "young" to retire. I have now started being asked the following questions:
What am I going to do when I retire?
How could I possibly afford to retire?
Are you leaving the state?
You're not old enough to start receiving your company pension are you?
Are you going to get a part-time job?
You get the jest of where I'm going here......... I am a pretty private person and I like it that way, but I know that because I have formed "work" relationships with co-workers (most of whom I do not socialize with outside of work), people will "naturally" ask many of the above questions and expect some sort of answer.
We are moving to a different state but if I tell most people where, it opens up another can of worms. Like the next question of where in that state are you moving? Sad to say this but I know that most of the people who ask this question will "google" the area to try to figure out our cost of living there, housing, crime rate, etc.
We plan to travel, visit loved ones, take up hobbies and all the other stuff retired people tend to do. And while I don't want to be rude, I don't want to tell people my business either. ESPECIALLY co-workers who I know could care less about me and only want to "gather" information to use against me when talking to others which I can only assume is because they're envious, jealous, or plan irritated that I'm retiring before them (sadly my boss falls in the category).
Because I am a pretty private person and the majority of people I work with know very little about me, with the exception of my immediate circle of co-workers, and they just know the basics...how many kids, how long I've been married, pretty general stuff. Very few know where I live or have been to my home.
I am in a high profile job; meaning I am in contact with a very large group of people who work for the same company and about 70% of the people know who I am and have dealt with me on a professional, yet very friendly level. I am a very outgoing person and I respect the privacy of others and expect the same for myself. I really could use some advice as to how to respond to people, without being rude, but yet set up immediate boundaries that will hopefully make people be respectful and accepting of the fact that I am not a "spill the beans" type of person!
One last thought, I know there will most likely be a going away party given in my honor, so I want to have my answers down by the time I'm faced with the inevitable......
You've gotten some good answers here about what to say, either diplomatically vague, or humorous, so I won't try to add more. I do kind of wonder why you think so many people will care all that much, or be that petty about it if they do. I don't want to be unkind, but your comments make me think that either your work relationships are not as cordial as you claim, or you have an inflated sense of your own importance to these people. Most of them probably aren't going to care that much, other than how your departure will impact their own jobs.
You've gotten some good answers here about what to say, either diplomatically vague, or humorous, so I won't try to add more. I do kind of wonder why you think so many people will care all that much, or be that petty about it if they do. I don't want to be unkind, but your comments make me think that either your work relationships are not as cordial as you claim, or you have an inflated sense of your own importance to these people. Most of them probably aren't going to care that much, other than how your departure will impact their own jobs.
But you are being unkind and judging , presuming and extrapolating based on limited info. Sometimes we just need to figure how how to deflect constant questions.
But you are being unkind and judging , presuming and extrapolating based on limited info. Sometimes we just need to figure how how to deflect constant questions.
Isn't that what we all do on CD? The OP provided limited data, and asked for advice? Catgirl64 responded, with her interpretation of that data. is your interpretation of the same limited data more correct?
This is no different then what I am dealing with caring for my elderly parents. I know people are curious, concerned, etc. But I constantly get the same questions:
How are you doing?
Are you holding up?Any time you need to talk to someone I am here.
etc etc
When I hear those questions, silently my answer is I'd be doing much better if you didn't keep on asking. So I continue to use the same boiler-plate answer - I'm doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances.
Human beings by nature pry. They are curious. If the barrage of questions annoy you (as they would me), just concoct a standard answer for all and move on.
But you are being unkind and judging , presuming and extrapolating based on limited info. Sometimes we just need to figure how how to deflect constant questions.
No, I offered my impression. It could well be wrong, although it's been my experience that most people really aren't that obsessed with the departure of a co-worker. Do you really think people are likely to Google this poster's future community? That just seems weird to me, as does worrying about it.
As for deflecting the questions, I get that, and like I said, plenty of good suggestions have been offered.
Isn't that what we all do on CD? The OP provided limited data, and asked for advice? Catgirl64 responded, with her interpretation of that data. is your interpretation of the same limited data more correct?
I stuck to how to deflect questions not go into character judgement, big difference.
Do you really think people are likely to Google this poster's future community? That just seems weird to me, as does worrying about it.
As for deflecting the questions, I get that, and like I said, plenty of good suggestions have been offered.
Err yes lol, I've had several friends do that because they are wondering if there is a good art community for me, and one friend worried there might be bears and worries about me.. as for nosy parkers I have no clue I don't work with people who pry into my financial situation. Who am I to decide the op is fibbing or not, take it as said and focus on deflecting issue
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