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I would wish you good health and happiness. Beyond that it's really a no brainer to retire....Sometimes the attitude needs a permanent vacation from answering to others.
So true and thank you for your good wishes. I wish you well.
These strike me as being the types of questions that anyone who would like to retire early would ask themselves. When people dream about retirement they are trying to visualize what retirement might be like and how and when they could handle retirement financially. Hearing how you answer the same questions may help them to develop answers to their own retirement concerns. I think that’s why many ask the questions. They wouldn’t say that to you though.
When colleagues have told me their retirement plans over the years, my mind always immediately shifted to putting myself in their shoes and pondering whether those plans appealed to me personally as part of my own retirement plan. That was helpful. I retired at age 53.
If those co-workers are indifferent to your future well being, why would they care enough to be malicious? Sure, I imagine many of them might wish they could retire, too. Have you never wished you could have retired earlier yourself?
Perhaps it's just my "old school" way of thinking. Regarding your last comment, I'm not sure why people are malicious like this but I can tell you that over the years, I have heard and seen with my own eyes what lengths people go through to gather information and it's NOT pretty.
These are great. It answers the questions vaguely enough that people don’t have much info to keep questioning, and injects enough humor so you aren’t perceived as hostile or unnecessarily secretive. The trick is to keep walking that fine line by giving vague answers in a cheerful I’m-so-glad-you-asked tone that communicates you appreciate their concern but don’t really have any interesting answers to give.
Here are my suggestions (you’ll need a few of these on rotation):
How can you afford to retire? We've always been pretty frugal and watched our spending.
What are your going to do? Relax, sleep in, enjoy the freedom to do whatever we want.
Are you leaving the State? We’re not sure. We haven’t really thought that far ahead.
Are you going to get a part-time job? I suppose that’s always a possibility, but I’m not sure what I’d do yet. It’s good to stay busy. We’re just going to enjoy not having to keep to a specific schedule for awhile.
I understand wanting to keep your life private and not wanting to give out too much info that opens you up to further questioning. You can’t totally keep people from trying to extrapolate your financial situation based on what limited info you give. People will always form opinions and judgements based on incomplete information, despite your best efforts, and they’re more than happy to share those unsolicited opinions with you or anyone who will listen to their gossip. There’s really nothing you can do to eliminate that completely, but I do understand your desire to minimize it as much as possible, especially with a year to go before retirement.
Good luck and congratulations on being able to retire early!
Thanks so much Fair minded. You wisdom is evident and I appreciate the examples, I already see myself using several of them. And thank you for understanding where I'm coming from regarding the gossip piece of it. I've seen many, many people do things that were not very caring after they received information regarding a person and it bothered me a great deal. Life is so short, guess I need to work on not sweating the small stuff....
you don't owe anyone an explanation, that's all your decision and business.
A few options for replies...
1. tell them you don't know....and then turn and walk away.
2. Just turn and walk away
3. It's all being worked out....
4. None of your business.
I know, it really pisses you off....they've done it to me, and of late, I just answer, none of your business, or it's all being worked out.
People can really be abrasive.
wishing you well....
I like #4 the most, I dont have the tolerance for nosy people.
I retired at 52. I get these questions. Here's how I answer them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Singerofsongs
What am I going to do when I retire? Enjoy myself doing whatever I want (smiling)
How could I possibly afford to retire? We worked hard and didn't get crazy with the spending and debt. (smiling)
Are you leaving the state? Maybe (shrugging my shoulders)
You're not old enough to start receiving your company pension are you? I NEVER worked for a company that gave a pension. (looking at them like their crazy - pensions are becoming like dinosaurs)
Are you going to get a part-time job? Maybe (smiling and shrugging my shoulders)
And the best answer of all to any of these questions: Why are you asking?
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,709 posts, read 41,881,084 times
Reputation: 41447
Quote:
Originally Posted by Singerofsongs
Which is a very private one. As I stated before most are NOT my friends, just co-workers who tend to be nosy or gossipy. I like the helpful answers given before your response, thanks for nil.
If they aren't your friends, then I'd just say none of your business and leave it at that. Who cares if that p&%$es them off since your leaving soon anyway?
Last edited by The Dissenter; 10-02-2017 at 12:30 PM..
You've gotten some good answers here about what to say, either diplomatically vague, or humorous, so I won't try to add more. I do kind of wonder why you think so many people will care all that much, or be that petty about it if they do. I don't want to be unkind, but your comments make me think that either your work relationships are not as cordial as you claim, or you have an inflated sense of your own importance to these people. Most of them probably aren't going to care that much, other than how your departure will impact their own jobs.
Catgirl64, I can see what would make you think this way, yet I have to laugh because you must be in a bubble if you have not encountered this type behavior yourself or know someone who has. In short, the reason why I KNOW many people care and are petty in the ways described in my first post is simply because I have seen year after year what lengths people will go through in order to have the inside scoop concerning one's life and I have called people out who have chosen to go online to "research" information received from an individual and it sickens me that we as a society have stooped to this level.
Hence, my reason for asking people for creative ways to DEFLECT such questions. I get along with the majority of people I interact with and have made a conscious decision NOT to be unkind, rude or respond in a way that makes a person feel less than (not my style). BUT because I know what's up, I will not be a provider of information to people who were never interested in my life before, yet choose to grill me like they've been apart of my personal life from the beginning.
Believe me, my work relationship is very cordial with the majority of people I work with and no, I'm not someone of IMPORTANCE ( although that's subjective), but I do know that once someone gets wind of my impending retirement, as strange as it may be to you, my unassuming life outside of the workplace will be of GREAT importance to those around me who will be "left behind".
Yes, most will forget all about me when I'm gone, which give me no hard burn and for your information very few will be impacted by my departure, but quite frankly, YOU having a hard time believing people will care all that much is irrelevant, I know the environment I work in and I'm glad there were more people who understood immediately what I getting at than people like yourself.
After searching the wonderful and witty comments I was pleasantly surprised that few people went where you chose to go by expressing a point of view (which I respect by the way) that had absolutely nothing to do with what I was politely asking for..... advice on how to DEFLECT questions from people who don't know how to respect ones privacy.
Hope you work on not judging so quickly that which you have a hard time understanding, and instead choose to the give folks the benefit of the doubt though acts of kindness. Best to you!!
This is no different then what I am dealing with caring for my elderly parents. I know people are curious, concerned, etc. But I constantly get the same questions:
How are you doing?
Are you holding up?Any time you need to talk to someone I am here.
etc etc
When I hear those questions, silently my answer is I'd be doing much better if you didn't keep on asking. So I continue to use the same boiler-plate answer - I'm doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances.
Human beings by nature pry. They are curious. If the barrage of questions annoy you (as they would me), just concoct a standard answer for all and move on.
Thank you for the wake up call. It's true, people are just people but I'm not going to be an enabler to the stupidity of others any longer.
Are you writing a book? Leave this chapter out and call it a mystery!
This is eyes-only above top secret. If I told you I'd have to kill you.
When and where are you moving to when you retire? C'mon, don't be shy!
The CIA told us to not tell anyone when where what who why how. Any other questions?
Haha! This post made me laugh ALOT! Thanks!
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