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Okay, so I'm about 1 year out from retiring with my husband who is 9 years older than me. He's pretty close to the age one would retire at while not being too old. Because I'm younger, people who I thought were my "friends" and made the mistake of sharing this bit of information to when the subject was brought up, are now constantly say I'm too "young" to retire. I have now started being asked the following questions:
What am I going to do when I retire?
How could I possibly afford to retire?
Are you leaving the state?
You're not old enough to start receiving your company pension are you?
Are you going to get a part-time job?
You get the jest of where I'm going here......... I am a pretty private person and I like it that way, but I know that because I have formed "work" relationships with co-workers (most of whom I do not socialize with outside of work), people will "naturally" ask many of the above questions and expect some sort of answer.
We are moving to a different state but if I tell most people where, it opens up another can of worms. Like the next question of where in that state are you moving? Sad to say this but I know that most of the people who ask this question will "google" the area to try to figure out our cost of living there, housing, crime rate, etc.
We plan to travel, visit loved ones, take up hobbies and all the other stuff retired people tend to do. And while I don't want to be rude, I don't want to tell people my business either. ESPECIALLY co-workers who I know could care less about me and only want to "gather" information to use against me when talking to others which I can only assume is because they're envious, jealous, or plan irritated that I'm retiring before them (sadly my boss falls in the category).
Because I am a pretty private person and the majority of people I work with know very little about me, with the exception of my immediate circle of co-workers, and they just know the basics...how many kids, how long I've been married, pretty general stuff. Very few know where I live or have been to my home.
I am in a high profile job; meaning I am in contact with a very large group of people who work for the same company and about 70% of the people know who I am and have dealt with me on a professional, yet very friendly level. I am a very outgoing person and I respect the privacy of others and expect the same for myself. I really could use some advice as to how to respond to people, without being rude, but yet set up immediate boundaries that will hopefully make people be respectful and accepting of the fact that I am not a "spill the beans" type of person!
One last thought, I know there will most likely be a going away party given in my honor, so I want to have my answers down by the time I'm faced with the inevitable......
Last edited by Singerofsongs; 09-29-2017 at 02:56 PM..
Reason: typo
Is there a polite way to tell people that "my husband and I are going through some long-planned career and life changes, which for us are a very private matter that we wish to not discuss outside of our immediate family, thank you."
TIA....
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My opinion is that you don't have to give any detailed answers, you can just smile and have a list of stock answers.
In other words deflect because some of those questions and the need to know your financial details are nosy, cheeky and impertinent. If they want to try and figure out the area you are moving to because they are financially nosy, let them, who cares.
What am I going to do when I retire? Who knows, it's a whole new and exciting adventure
How could I possibly afford to retire? You don't need to worry about that OR we've got it covered
Are you leaving the state? All options are on the table
You're not old enough to start receiving your company pension are you? That's not an issue to need to worry about OR we've got it covered.
Are you going to get a part-time job? Who knows, it's a whole new adventure out there
I am facing a similar situation and many don't think I should move, but that is not their call and when anyone brings questions up I just smile and say "it's a whole new and exciting adventure".
I can only add "Why do you ask?" to the list. Then stare at them without saying anything until they become uncomfortable and wander off.
Also, once you have given them an answer, if they persist, just repeat your response (or stare at them, see above). Do not let them drag you into a discussion or a debate. You certainly do not owe them any further details, and nothing you say will ever be enough once you start offering explanations.
So, we went thru this at retirement time, too. But my impression is that the majority of curiousity was because inevitably all workers do retire and everyone is forming plans in their minds. Your plans are extremely interesting to others, as they too will face the same issues and maybe you have some good ideas.
I like Spuggy's answers; but also a bit of humor works as another option. How I answered:
Q: How can you afford to retire? A: I know, right? Sometimes, I'm afraid we'll starve. Keep your fingers crossed for us that our savings stretches out until we go out toes up!
Q: What are your going to do? A: SLEEP IN!! HA HA. Other than that, we're going to try and get some exercise and read some great books and see some sights.
Q: Are you leaving the State? A: Have at least 20 years to decide! What would you do?
Q: Are you going to get a part-time job? A: If we run out of money and are healthy we'll consider it.....who knows.....I always thought I'd be a good Wal-mart door greeter!
"My husband and I are so lucky to be able to do this. Right now we are busy exploring the many options we have and still deciding in which direction we want to go when the time comes."
So, we went thru this at retirement time, too. But my impression is that the majority of curiousity was because inevitably all workers do retire and everyone is forming plans in their minds. Your plans are extremely interesting to others, as they too will face the same issues and maybe you have some good ideas.
I like Spuggy's answers; but also a bit of humor works as another option. How I answered:
Q: How can you afford to retire? A: I know, right? Sometimes, I'm afraid we'll starve. Keep your fingers crossed for us that our savings stretches out until we go out toes up!
Q: What are your going to do? A: SLEEP IN!! HA HA. Other than that, we're going to try and get some exercise and read some great books and see some sights.
Q: Are you leaving the State? A: Have at least 20 years to decide! What would you do?
Q: Are you going to get a part-time job? A: If we run out of money and are healthy we'll consider it.....who knows.....I always thought I'd be a good Wal-mart door greeter!
So agree with this post. No need to get snarky. Most people are asking to formulate their own answers to the same questions. Can you respond respectfully, without sacrificing your privacy? Absolutely. Just keep in mind, in making your decision to retire, I'm sure you "researched" other's experiences to see what might work for you.
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