Mother in law pushing boundaries? (wife, person, holidays, relatives)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am a little surprised how few people here are capable of approaching this logically.
You don't speak for someone else, publically, using their name without their consent. Period.
Details about who, what, where, and when are irrelevant.
And I am not a "troll" -this is a true story.
Call me a "grump" or a "scrooge" all you want, I simply don't care for all the cheesy nonsense that goes along with the holidays, and those who fail to understand that are probably your typical sheep that fall for all the marketing and commercialism, and blindly celebrate xmas. Keep swiping those credit cards! As was said, these people have an emotional attachment to Christmas and just can't understand. What she did is contrary to my beliefs, so YES - the more I think about it the more I believe it is an issue. It will be handled accordingly and appropriately.
Thank you for your ridiculous, dorky insights, and thank you to half of you who failed to even understand my first post correctly
We ALL failed to understand your post... then maybe your post sucked.
If you hadn't included all the negativity about the concert and having to go, our answers may have been different. It wasn't really relevant, so I don't know why you included it. But you did. We can only answer based on your information.
Last edited by Kibbiekat; 12-15-2017 at 02:47 PM..
I am a little surprised how few people here are capable of approaching this logically.
You don't speak for someone else, publically, using their name without their consent. Period.
Details about who, what, where, and when are irrelevant.
And I am not a "troll" -this is a true story.
Call me a "grump" or a "scrooge" all you want, I simply don't care for all the cheesy nonsense that goes along with the holidays, and those who fail to understand that are probably your typical sheep that fall for all the marketing and commercialism, and blindly celebrate xmas. Keep swiping those credit cards! As was said, these people have an emotional attachment to Christmas and just can't understand. What she did is contrary to my beliefs, so YES - the more I think about it the more I believe it is an issue. It will be handled accordingly and appropriately.
Thank you for your ridiculous, dorky insights, and thank you to half of you who failed to even understand my first post correctly
I don't think that most people think your MIL was 100% correct. Some said that they wouldn't mind and others thought that she crossed a boundary. What people are advising you is that you tread carefully with this issue and don't go in with guns blazing. Try a softer approach or let your wife do it.
It appears that you have married into a family (or have a mother in law at least) that cares about 'the cheesy nonsense that goes along with the holidays'. If your wife is one of these people, this is an area where you need to talk and come to some compromise. Maybe you can stay home during your MIL concert, maybe you don't have to do anything you don't to regarding Christmas. Maybe your wife will be willing to do her Christmas things with her side of the family (you don't mention a FIL, is he around?) by herself.
We ALL failed to understand your post... then maybe your post sucked.
If you hadn't included all the negativity about the concert and having to go, our answers may have been diffetent. It wasn't really relevant, so I don't know why you included it. But you did. We can only answer based on your information.
That's what often happens here.
If he had just said, "My MIL bought an ad in a community program in our names. Is this over the line?" we all would have said, "Of course! You should tell her that next time she should please ask your permission before she does anything in your name."
But in his haste to build a case against this woman, for whom he has unexplained hostility, he revealed more about his own repulsive personality than he probably wanted to. Subsequent efforts to shore up his position against his MIL only confirmed the fact that he's got a pretty big log in his own eye.
Basically, I want to know whether or not I am justified to be angry and/or concerned about this
It's pretty minor and silly. But is it signal of worse things to come? Only been married about a year.
Background:
My MIL belongs to this music band putting on a Christmas concert soon as part of a small town volunteer band. Not a rock band or a "cool" band by any stretch - you know, the traditional classical songs, sing-alongs, Rudolf, Jingle Bells, Santa is Coming to Town blah blah blah. The primary audience for this crap is old people, and maybe families with small kids. This stuff is popular with a certain crowd I suppose and I get that. Do what makes you happy. But as far as I go personally... not at ALL into it. Would rather stay home and not attend, but of course I will be going to this concert just to spare myself from the fallout if I DARED had the audacity not to attend.
Anyway, in the program, you can buy space to put a small advertisement, or a Christmas message, etc. Without my knowledge, she went ahead and bought an ad and put me and my wife's names on it with a 'Happy Holidays' message. So, yeah, she essentially used my name without my permission and paid for this message herself.. I don't fully get her purpose in doing this - I'm pretty sure she knows that I'm "not that into" this type of thing and would never, ever pay for an ad like this, I'm not the type to be spreading holiday cheer to strangers.
Now course, I'm a little ticked about it, and my wife is getting ticked because I am ticked. She doesn't really see anything wrong with this. Yes, its a minor thing, and only a handful of folks are going to see this ad, but still.... I don't like things like this done behind my back. Am I wrong for being ticked off?
You are over reacting.
You really don’t like your MIL, do you? I think this more about that, than anything else.
Basically, I want to know whether or not I am justified to be angry and/or concerned about this
It's pretty minor and silly. But is it signal of worse things to come? Only been married about a year.
Background:
My MIL belongs to this music band putting on a Christmas concert soon as part of a small town volunteer band. Not a rock band or a "cool" band by any stretch - you know, the traditional classical songs, sing-alongs, Rudolf, Jingle Bells, Santa is Coming to Town blah blah blah. The primary audience for this crap is old people, and maybe families with small kids. This stuff is popular with a certain crowd I suppose and I get that. Do what makes you happy. But as far as I go personally... not at ALL into it. Would rather stay home and not attend, but of course I will be going to this concert just to spare myself from the fallout if I DARED had the audacity not to attend.
Anyway, in the program, you can buy space to put a small advertisement, or a Christmas message, etc. Without my knowledge, she went ahead and bought an ad and put me and my wife's names on it with a 'Happy Holidays' message. So, yeah, she essentially used my name without my permission and paid for this message herself.. I don't fully get her purpose in doing this - I'm pretty sure she knows that I'm "not that into" this type of thing and would never, ever pay for an ad like this, I'm not the type to be spreading holiday cheer to strangers.
Now course, I'm a little ticked about it, and my wife is getting ticked because I am ticked. She doesn't really see anything wrong with this. Yes, its a minor thing, and only a handful of folks are going to see this ad, but still.... I don't like things like this done behind my back. Am I wrong for being ticked off?
Oh for crying out loud. She wanted to include you and your wife in her holiday giving; she might even have done it as a well-meaning and kind gesture of inclusiveness. Is this ad going to go viral on youtube? You're making a mountain out of a molehill. Frankly, your MIL's small act of charity seems far less weird than your over-the-top reaction, which seems childish and bizarre. Get over yourself and grow up.
Maybe it's like a control issue. Somebody does things or purchases something for you without asking if that is what you would like. I can't quite put it into words, but I think I understand what OP is trying to say. Obviously he doesn't like all the Christmas festivities. But somebody forcing this on you is going to irritate you.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She doesn't really see anything wrong with this. Yes, its a minor thing, and only a handful of folks are going to see this ad, but still.... I don't like things like this done behind my back. Am I wrong for being ticked off?