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God forbid she doesn’t get the newest model. Buy her a used one. She doesn’t like it? Let her get a job and buy her own. Those phones are expensive and delicate. The i phone X is supposed to be more fragile than previous versions. Drop it once and it may be damaged. Then you have to look at the plans. Who is going to pay her cell phone bill? A lot to think about. Christmas isn’t all about HER.
We got my my daughter an IPhone SE for her birthday this year (I have one as well). You can get them much cheaper! Our plan is through Verizon and we pay $17 a month towards the purchase of the phone. That's a lot better than coming up with all the money at once. On a side note, I would NOT buy my child a phone that costs $1k anyway as these phones are being stolen left and right.
I would tell her that you are more than willing to get her a phone just not the new IPhone 7!
I love the iPhone SE as well, in fact I own one myself and I actually didn't have to pay through the nose for it because my cell phone provider gave me a really good deal on it, something they (unfortunately!) aren't willing to do for the iPhone X (I called them and asked and the best they could do was the by-the-month thing, which my wife is against).
Getting her the iPhone SE is doable but on her Christmas wish list she specified the optimum model would be the X, but then as a side note she said she's also ok with the 8/8s. It wouldn't be too tough getting her an older model as I know there are great deals out there but I know I'll disappoint her if I get her a dated model because she really wants the newest one and has been begging us for it for so long. I wouldn't mind getting the 8/8s refurbished but I don't know if that's an option, I haven't seen a refurbished 8 or X available anywhere.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with a Samsung! Both my daughters have had Samsungs since they were allowed cell phones and I'm incredibly satisfied. I would have no issue putting my foot down and telling her she has to live with using a Samsung had I not promised her an iPhone. My main issue is that I don't want to disappoint her after promising her something I know she's been looking forward to for 3 years. She isn't too spoilt. If I hadn't made the mistake of promising her the newest iPhone at 16 she would completely understand us not being able to afford the latest model and would just ask for something else, but I promised her something and my wife and I have always tried to instill the value of staying true to your word in our kids, so it would be so hypocritical of me to manipulate that value whenever it suits my fancy. Not to mention I'd feel horrible letting her down.
The blame here is on me, I even got into a massive argument with my wife over this no more than 2 hours ago because she also thinks this whole situation is on me
Except that he’s told her repeatedly that he would get her an iPhone when she was 16. I think that was the mistake. Another lesson is the importance of keeping your word, and not getting her one at this point doesn’t help teach her that.
Of course if the money isn’t there it isn’t and OP may not be able to follow through. But I definitely don’t think it was right to repeatedly promise her an iPhone and then not get her one. FYI - there are monthly payment plans for iPhones.
^ This. He told her repeatedly that he would get her an iPhone. That was a mistake. The OP created a problem. And yes because of this he needs to make it happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran
Buy an older model IPhone. She’ll probably be thrilled to have that.
No, she won't.
I don't think she is being bratty. Who wants an older model at that age? Christmas morning will be very disappointing and she won't get over it.
Maybe check to see if Apple is selling unlocked refurbs as they are usually several hundred less, and they might even have the 8s. And what is wrong with a new Samsung Galaxy? Beautiful phone, better performance and much less expensive than the X. All of my sons supposedly hip millemial friends have them. I only stayed with iphone because i have the watch and ipad and wanted them all to work together. She probably wouldnt like it but the current SE (really cool looking little phone) is under $500. That is what I have now and I love that it is small enough that I can type one handed and fit it in any pocket, but I just cant crank email fast enough on it. But I am sure she would see it as the cheap iphone .
As painful as it was I became extremely motivated to become financially independent from my parents as soon as possible, and drove myself to take on difficult, sometimes risky, but high paying jobs. Try to see if you can use this as a way for her to develop skills to get creative on how to make $$$ (legal of course), as painful as she will find it, it is a real character builder. While I cursed them then, I know I wouldnt have the great career I have today without that.
Hi, thank you for taking time out of your day to acknowledge my post.
I have the iphone SE as well and I love it, but you're right to assume she wouldn't be happy with it and it is kind of a waste of money to get her something I know she'll be disappointed by.
Samsung has lovely phones but at my daughter's school there's huge Applemania flying around and 90% of the kids own Apple products. Then again, we do live in Santa Clara County and about 15-20 mins away from the Apple Headquarters so it may have something to do with that, I'm not really sure. I myself don't understand this huge obsession with iPhones and iSomethings either but I feel like a flawed parent depriving my daughter of something she really wants that all her friends and kids at school have just because I miscalculated my finances. I just feel horrible about this whole situation because I know it's all my fault for promising her something I'm now not able to follow up on.
Actually more often than not whenever we argue about anything money related she always tells me something along the lines of "You know dad I'm going to work extremely hard to get into college and pursue a career that makes sure my kids don't have to go through what I'm going through with you and mom because it really sucks to be me right now" plus a few curse words in there I'm not going to repeat. I really don't appreciate the disrespect and I always tell her to be respectful towards us but we have quite a few issues with her in general.
Last edited by kenneth.24; 12-16-2017 at 02:45 AM..
Even if she gets any kind of phone, who's going to shell out for the service?
Whoa! After reading that last post, if she talked to you like that, I'd say promising her a phone wasn't the only thing that's been done wrong!
Even if she gets any kind of phone, who's going to shell out for the service?
Whoa! After reading that last post, if she talked to you like that, I'd say promising her a phone wasn't the only thing that's been done wrong!
Yeah I always get angry at the blatant disrespect and try talking to her about it as calmly as I can without losing my temper but sometimes I feel like she has a right to be angry. Lately she's just been extremely difficult with my wife and me and I'm not sure why. This general behavior she's been projecting lately is really unlike her so I'm not sure what's going on? I'm hoping it's just a phase like the ones I went through when I was a kid.
As far as the cell phone service is concerned she told me she has that covered and that she can manage that herself via the allowance we give her and money she's saved up herself, so I'm not worried about that.
^ This. He told her repeatedly that he would get her an iPhone. That was a mistake. The OP created a problem. And yes because of this he needs to make it happen.
No, she won't.
I don't think she is being bratty. Who wants an older model at that age? Christmas morning will be very disappointing and she won't get over it.
Like, ever? We will see her in many years on here telling how she was traumatized not getting this when she was 16? LOL/
Hi, thank you for taking time out of your day to acknowledge my post.
I have the iphone SE as well and I love it, but you're right to assume she wouldn't be happy with it and it is kind of a waste of money to get her something I know she'll be disappointed by.
Samsung has lovely phones but at my daughter's school there's huge Applemania flying around and 90% of the kids own Apple products. Then again, we do live in Santa Clara County and about 15-20 mins away from the Apple Headquarters so it may have something to do with that, I'm not really sure. I myself don't understand this huge obsession with iPhones and iSomethings either but I feel like a flawed parent depriving my daughter of something she really wants that all her friends and kids at school have just because I miscalculated my finances. I just feel horrible about this whole situation because I know it's all my fault for promising her something I'm now not able to follow up on.
Actually more often than not whenever we argue about anything money related she always tells me something along the lines of "You know dad I'm going to work extremely hard to get into college and pursue a career that makes sure my kids don't have to go through what I'm going through with you and mom because it really sucks to be me right now" plus a few curse words in there I'm not going to repeat. I really don't appreciate the disrespect and I always tell her to be respectful towards us but we have quite a few issues with her in general.
Wow. That should earn things being taken AWAY, not more given. She thinks this is so horrible? My parents would have shown me horrible had I dared to say such a thing. And God Bless them for the way they raised me.
Yeah I always get angry at the blatant disrespect and try talking to her about it as calmly as I can without losing my temper but sometimes I feel like she has a right to be angry. Lately she's just been extremely difficult with my wife and me and I'm not sure why. This general behavior she's been projecting lately is really unlike her so I'm not sure what's going on? I'm hoping it's just a phase like the ones I went through when I was a kid.
She's disrespectful because you've taught her to be. She's been indulged, sheltered, not taught the value of things. She sulks you jump. She knows you'll cave. This was the lesson she learned from you; she'll get what she wants if she guilts you into it or gives you the pity party. When she was little and her wants were a lot simpler and less expensive it was easy to satisfy her. Now the wants are much bigger and she expects the same result. Part of your post explains a lot..."sometimes I feel she has a right to be angry" What? Who's manipulating who here? Maybe she's getting a glimpse that the gravy train is coming to an end sooner than she'd prefer, so she's acting out. Don't blame this on a "phase". Its more serious than that.
I really wanted to sympathize with you, honestly I did. Until your followup posts explained more about her behavior. If you buy her the danged phone, even through a deal you can handle, she still ends up with the result she expected from you...a lot of anxiety and bending over backwards on your part just to sate her. If you don't buy her the danged phone and attempt to explain why it isn't realistic, she'll pout, act out, give you the silent treatment or whatever technique gets the best reaction, make you feel terrible, and won't learn a thing.
Its not about which phone it is, how to swing it, which model is better, all the fascinating technical detail, none of it. That is all convenient distraction. Its about reaping what you sow. When the big mean old world hits her in the face she will learn very fast that no one else is going to hand her what she wants just because she can behave badly.
If a child of mine acted this way there is no way I would buy them a new phone at all. If they show some respect and appreciation, that's when good things happen.
Last edited by Parnassia; 12-16-2017 at 05:15 AM..
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