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Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 25 days ago)
35,749 posts, read 18,091,770 times
Reputation: 50801
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hatethewinter
That's exactly what it felt like, a chess move. Who's making the first move. Personally, I didn't feel I should have ask about dinner when someone invites me over for dinner. Silly me, I'm just expecting dinner!! I think since I've paid for meals every time we've been out (because it was always my invitation to her) she was expecting me to pay again.
I WON'T be taking her on my road trip. There's just going to be too much worry about what she can and can't afford to do. I want to enjoy myself and not feel like I may have to compromise my vacation based on her situation. It will become too much about "her" and this vacation is about me and my daughter visiting with family we haven't seen in a long time. She is a good person and I do think she's cheap and maybe she's trying to take advantage of the fact that my finances are a bit better than hers. She has her flaws and I have mine. I really hope the friendship survives the "we won't be taking you with us on vacation" conversation.
Why? She seems odd, and you don't feel comfortable enough around her to say, after about 45 minutes, "so, was the plan to order pizza?"
Then maybe at that point she'd give you the money she had in her hand and expect you to go out and pick it up, who knows? Or she'd say "well, this is kind of awkward but I thought you were going to pick it up from Caesars. Should we just to to Caesars and eat?"
And about the OP's situation, definitely do NOT let this friend tag along on the trip down to Florida. And actually, she's not a real friend. More like a close acquaintance at best.
People like that are only out for themselves. She lured you over with a promise of dinner, but there was no food because the invite was insincere. The Florida trip will be a free ride for her because she is thinking that you are going to be paying for it anyways. She will buy her own food and snacks, but not think that she has to pay for gas. Who knows about the hotel rooms, maybe she will pay for a cot or sleep on the floor. And her being along will spoil any quality time you might have had with your daughter.
She's a mooch!
I totally agree the trip will be spoiled if I spend the time worrying about what she's going to pay for and what she'll try to get me to pay for. Would you even consider inviting yourself on someone else's vacation?? Who does that?
I know the debate from others has been as to whether the context of the text meant she'd pay, I'd pay or we'd go dutch, but I just don't feel I should have to ask "hey, where the hecks dinner?" when you've invited me over to dinner!
I totally agree the trip will be spoiled if I spend the time worrying about what she's going to pay for and what she'll try to get me to pay for. Would you even consider inviting yourself on someone else's vacation?? Who does that?
I know the debate from others has been as to whether the context of the text meant she'd pay, I'd pay or we'd go dutch, but I just don't feel I should have to ask "hey, where the hecks dinner?" when you've invited me over to dinner!
I knew a woman who did that routinely. It was weird. I think I may have been the only person who ever turned her down. Mainly, she'd invite herself into other people's vacations to exotic destinations. Then afterwards, she'd brag about how this or that friend or acquaintance invited her on this nice vacation. She seemed to derive status and value from being invited places, as if she's such desirable company or such a special person, that people invite her on travel vacations.
It is not normal behavior. People like this are needy, on some level.
Do most people really want to spend 21 continuous days together with a person other than spouse, partner, child, or boyfriend/girlfriend?
I know some people want to and seek out a friend or friends with whom to travel, but it often is a much shorter trip. (others go to Europe)
Exactly, she and I and my daughter went together on a 3 day trip to NY in 2015. Short, sweet and fun. But 3 weeks is a long time. What I find really interesting is that this same friend and HER daughter had a falling out after their last family vacation in October cause the daughter wanted to bring the boyfriend and she was upset cause he's not family and she didn't want him on their vacation. Needless to say, the daughter didn't bring the boyfriend and now they (mom and daughter) don't speak to each other!! So the idea was Not family, not vacationing with us. Is this not the pot and the kettle?? LOL
I knew a woman who did that routinely. It was weird. I think I may have been the only person who ever turned her down. Mainly, she'd invite herself into other people's vacations to exotic destinations. Then afterwards, she'd brag about how this or that friend or acquaintance invited her on this nice vacation. She seemed to derive status and value from being invited places, as if she's such desirable company or such a special person, that people invite her on travel vacations.
It is not normal behavior. People like this are needy, on some level.
Regardless of who makes the initial invite, my friends and I always split the bill (or pay our exact share if it's uneven). This only changes if it's someone's birthday, one of us owes the other for whatever reason, or specifically says "my treat" just 'cause. Otherwise it's assumed we are BOTH chipping in, no matter who invited whom.
I went on a road trip with a friend like yours once, and money issues almost ended our friendship by the end of it. She kept saying "I'll get you back," so finally I asked for the money and she blew up at me! We worked things out, thankfully, and are still close friends today... but that was the last time we traveled together, lol. (and that was over 20 years ago)
Regardless of who makes the initial invite, my friends and I always split the bill (or pay our exact share if it's uneven). This only changes if it's someone's birthday, one of us owes the other for whatever reason, or specifically says "my treat" just 'cause. Otherwise it's assumed we are BOTH chipping in, no matter who invited whom.
I went on a road trip with a friend like yours once, and money issues almost ended our friendship by the end of it. She kept saying "I'll get you back," so finally I asked for the money and she blew up at me! We worked things out, thankfully, and are still close friends today... but that was the last time we traveled together, lol. (and that was over 20 years ago)
Yep, I think the lesson learned is we'll be splitting the bill going forward or I should say, I'll request separate checks covering me and my daughter. Next time we go out I'll be making sure I explain before hand, we're going dutch!
Her husband is the sole provider so I can't see her paying for excursions and meals this entire vacation. That'll just rain on my parade. Don't know how the conversation will go when she returns from her vacation with family. I'd hate to lose the friendship. Hopefully, she'll be understanding. If not, who's got the time for this? Life's too short.
I knew a woman who did that routinely. It was weird. I think I may have been the only person who ever turned her down. Mainly, she'd invite herself into other people's vacations to exotic destinations. Then afterwards, she'd brag about how this or that friend or acquaintance invited her on this nice vacation. .
They actually let her go on their trips with them? I've had this happen twice where a friend found out I was going on a vacation somewhere, and invited herself to tag along with me and my spouse. It was rather offensive and of course, I said "no". If I wanted someone on a trip with me, I'd invite them to go.
You're friend is like a hitchhiker... as if her company was enough compensation or she deserves your compassion, pity and charity.
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