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My guess: her chit chat about dogs (and possibly a lot of other things) was fake. She's putting on an act of being friendly and liking everyone, to get along, or to be liked. It's a false persona she adopts for her job. Maybe she thinks it will get her raises or good performance reviews, or something. So that when you followed up on her stated wish to meet your dog, she didn't even remember having said that, or never meant it to be taken seriously. So you caught her by surprise. Everyone else probably doesn't give her chit chat a second thought, taking it just to be pleasantries exchanged. But you took her seriously, almost as if she were a friend, or wanted to be your friend.
That may have happened in the other instance, where someone told others and it became a joke about you. I've done that, when I was a lot younger. It's like when someone says, "Hey, great talking to you! We should do lunch!" as they're parting with you. And you think they really mean it, so you call them, or the next time you see them you say, "Hey, how about we have lunch tomorrow", and they have no idea what you're talking about, and get weirded out, and suddenly things become very awkward.
It may have been something like that, with her dog comments. You didn't do anything to offend her, except take her seriously. Nothing to apologize for or seek clarification of. Live and learn.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 12-11-2019 at 03:31 AM..
I would not fixate or obsess about someone going cold on me. I find most people aren't worth it anyway. Someone I am not even good friends with, would not be on my radar if they went cold on me. Go out and meet others. Life is too short.
This is what I do and most definitely do not discuss politics. In addition, I pretty much start with a smile at every interaction and keep the conversation centered around the other person, e.g., how are you? and keep it short. It is very difficult to make a case against a smiling person who does their job.
My guess: her chit chat about dogs (and possibly a lot of other things) was fake. She's putting on an act of being friendly and liking everyone, to get along, or to be liked. It's a false persona she adopts for her job. Maybe she thinks it will get her raises or good performance reviews, or something. So that when you followed up on her stated wish to meet your dog, she didn't even remember having said that, or never meant it to be taken seriously. So you caught her by surprise. Everyone else probably doesn't give her chit chat a second thought, taking it just to be pleasantries exchanged. But you took her seriously, almost as if she were a friend, or wanted to be your friend.
That may have happened in the other instance, where someone told others and it became a joke about you. I've done that, when I was a lot younger. It's like when someone says, "Hey, great talking to you! We should do lunch!" as they're parting with you. And you think they really mean it, so you call them, or the next time you see them you say, "Hey, how about we have lunch tomorrow", and they have no idea what you're talking about, and get weirded out, and suddenly things become very awkward.
It may have been something like that, with her dog comments. You didn't do anything to offend her, except take her seriously. Nothing to apologize for or seek clarification of. Live and learn.
I think you hit the nail on the head. I was thinking this was the other extreme possibility. Like when someone passes someone they barely know and says, "Call me" while making the phone gesture. She assumed the OP was doing the same thing she was.
Either way, I would just treat her politely from now on. She is just there to do her job.
OP, don't mind her. If she was friendly with you before, and suddenly she became cold with you, maybe she's jealous with you about something.
Some people at work are like that. One day they are friendly with you, next day they turn their face. I'm sure mostly because of jealousy or competition. They don't have a gut to tell you the truth to your face, but they try to be or act friendly with many others and try to recruit a clique and talk bad about you behind your back. They want to get more people on their side to prove something. But what's there to prove? People know their personalities anyway. Just the matter that some people are hooked into gossiping, or some others want to stay out of it. Such girls/women are phony. Don't trust them. And you don't need to be friends with such kind of people.
I know a woman at my workplace who is very chatty, and many gossipers like to stop by her desk to talk with her. She always has two jars of candies on her desk to attract people to come to talk to her. On the outside, she seems very sweet and friendly. But on the inside, she's very bitter and jealous because she always talk about somebody to somebody else about this and that, and also tells the management about this and that person like a spy.
Just pay attentions to your work and do it well. Try to find co-workers with positive attitudes and associate with. Ignore the gossiping and jealousy ones. Good managers and co-workers know who is who.
She's not doing anything wrong. She's just more honest and natural, and some people like this receptionist don't meet many people like that. So they try to pull them into their twisted little world.
The OP is free to act however she wants. But if this lady is no negative to you already, would you even want to know her better? The other people she is friendly with are being fake like she is. It's just surface scum. She only acts friendly with them because you are nearby.
But they WERE friendly. That's the whole issue. The receptionist USED to be friendly, and now she's not. We don't know why, and OP doesn't know why, and now the Receptionist is behaving in a hurtful and baffling way.
OP is never going to know the WHY unless she respectfully asks why, and tries to clear the air.
Another thought. If Receptionist goes to the break room quickly or chats briefly at the front desk but still has to mind the phone perhaps the OP has interfered with the Receptionist’s job multiple times by wanting to visit too much. Perhaps the receptionist has been told to be more attentive to the job and she’s decided to discourage OP from interacting with her because OP wants more extensive conversations than a quick passing few words.
How about instead of making it about you then you ask about her. If you just ask she might be going through something difficult right now.
But she is friendly to everyone else. Only changed with me.
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