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No she is the talker. People are at her desk all the time. If I’m there it’s only briefly and she is the one that talked to me and it was hard to get away.
It could be anything to be honest. People who switch up on you are really not worth your time and thought.
One possibility is that it could be that someone has said something about you, and that caused her to go cold.
I've had people go hot and cold on me as well for many different reasons. Sometimes, it had nothing to do with me. Ultimately, I've learned to take people with a grain of salt. Most people are not genuine. Some may take their politeness a little too far even with people they do not like. It often gets them in a sticky circumstance.
OP. Maybe she feels she has told you too much about herself, and is now trying to distance herself. The bottom line is you can be friendly with people at work, but they are not your friends. Do not overshare personal information about yourself, and do not become their "confessional". Continue to be cordial, but do not let it bother you if she is cold to you.
Well, you can't fix a problem if you don't know what the problem is.
Seems like OP would like to know what's up. How else is she supposed to figure it out? I mean, that's what she was asking. "WHY do people get weird on me?"
IF OP somehow offended this person, the person might appreciate the offer to get it off her chest.
If someone offended me, and approached me to try and "fix it", I'd appreciate it.
I do agree that this is an ideal way to go about things. That would be great. One person asks what's wrong and everything is figured out, and then everything is resolved.
But then that requires the honesty of both parties. If the "offender" walks up to the "offended" to see what the issue is and the supposed offended is not going to answer and just play some kind of game of power (which very often happens), then there is nothing that can be done.
In that case, not every problem is worth fixing or solving. Some people are just game players or just take a dislike to you for some reason you either don't know about or have no control over.
If someone has unknowingly offended me, then I have to be the one to bring it to the attention of the "offender". We have a conversation and it can go one of a few ways.
One way it can go is the offender decides to not do the thing that offends me again.
Another way it can go is the offender talks a little more about the offense and gives me a little context surrounding the thing that offended me, I understand it better, and the offense ceases being offensive to me
Or
We talk, we don't come to an agreement other than to agree to disagree and go from there which could mean limiting interaction.
Or other parties get involved and the appropriate action is taken in regards to the offense (which can include legal action)
There are plenty of other possible outcomes
Of course the proper outcome depends on the nature of the offense among many other factors
I’m not trying to make friends. Never have I extended anything outside office talk. The dog thing I took seriously because she seems to love dogs and it always interested when they come in.
Another thing I notice is when I got a call and she would transfer it to me she always had info in the person and the invoice #. I didn’t ask for it or expect it but it was nice. Now she just says the company he is calling from and transfers it to me.
Yesterday I tried to approach her about a work related question. Once she said “hold on” as she walked away and didn’t come back to ask what I needed. Then later I listened to check if she was on the phone. Didn’t hear her talking. Went over there and she was texting. Looked at me and motioned to her headset like he was on the phone.
Ok, it sounds like her attitude is affecting hers and your job, one thing to not be friendly but another if it affects the workplace. You need to go up to here and let her know that it’s one thing to ignore you for chit chat, but it’s another if she ignores you on work related issues, if this doesn’t help go to her supervisor, leave out majority of your personal interactions, but let him/her know that she is ignoring you on topics related to your job. I wouldn’t bother trying to be friends with her, just be professional and cordial when you talk to her.
I would just ignore her completely. If she transfers a call to you, say thanks. I wouldn't acknowledge her in any way other than the briefest possible business like way. Treat her like she is a boss who you don't want to get close to. I wouldn't worry about who she talks to or is friends with or why she changed towards you. Just ignore her like she wasn't even there. If anyone mentions her to you just say that she was super friendly then went completely cold toward you, as that is what happened. It's not your problem if you don't want it to be. It sounds like she is the weird one here.
Ok, it sounds like her attitude is affecting hers and your job, one thing to not be friendly but another if it affects the workplace. You need to go up to here and let her know that it’s one thing to ignore you for chit chat, but it’s another if she ignores you on work related issues, if this doesn’t help go to her supervisor, leave out majority of your personal interactions, but let him/her know that she is ignoring you on topics related to your job. I wouldn’t bother trying to be friends with her, just be professional and cordial when you talk to her.
I don't think that is a good idea.
From the OP wrote the receptionist doesn't have to give the OP all that information. Was just going out of her way for the OP, most receptionists just say who it is and transfer the call.
Unless the receptionist is supposed to say "Bob Smith from the Jones company is on the line regarding invoice # 1234", the OP shouldn't complain.
Like you said be cordial and polite, but no more chit chat. Sounds like the chit chat days are over anyway.
I wasn’t referring to the extra mile the receptionist did for the op, it was the ignoring the op when she was trying to discuss work topics which I did recommended talking to the receptionist first and I should have said if she kept ignoring the op involving work that affect the op’s work then talk to the supervisor. Leave the personal issues out.
This is work, not a friend or the neighbor next door(who was friendly and now no longer is). In those cases you ask, in this scenario you don't.
The OP never mentioned going to lunches with this woman, or seeing her outside of work. If the woman quit or the OP quit, they would never see each other again.
Best to let it go, again what Ruth said makes sense.
Going to the receptionist will either be met with "no, you didn't do anything wrong, don't know what you're talking about", or worse a complaint to HR.
So WHAT?? People usually strive for friendly behavior in the work place. To suddenly be treated in a cold, distant, and disdainful way is hurtful.
And now, it seems like it's effecting OP's job, where receptionist isn't even doing her job toward OP. It IS a work issue.
I’m not complaining that she wasn’t giving me info on the persons name and invoice # when transferring a call. I was just pointing out how she stopped it the same time she became distant towards me. Also she didn’t know if I am asking her a work related question or not. She just didn’t want to talk to me regardless it seems.
So WHAT?? People usually strive for friendly behavior in the work place. To suddenly be treated in a cold, distant, and disdainful way is hurtful.
And now, it seems like it's effecting OP's job, where receptionist isn't even doing her job toward OP. It IS a work issue.
Please. This isn't a friend, a neighbor, or a relative. This is a work acquaintance.
Unless her behavior is directly causing a negative impact on the OP's job performance let it go. From what the OP has written it doesn't sound like she is doing that.
If the OP confronts her she will most likely get the same kind of response she got when the OP mentioned bringing dog in, a blank stare and "no, nothing is wrong". Or this woman could go to HR and say the OP is bothering her.
Seriously, you think everyone in life has to like everyone? In a perfect world that would be nice, but that is not how it is.
Let's see if you had to choose:
Which of the following would I pick to give me the cold shoulder?
a) family member
b) next door neighbor of 20 years
c) best friend of 10 years
d) 60 something year old receptionist that I have no contact with outside of work.
I would go with d).
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