Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yes, you are right. That's the problem for somebody who cares too much about "friends" and cliques at work. Too much dramas.
Work people are not your friends. They are your acquaintances and competitors. They may seem friendly with you, but they actually are watching you. Today you and them look like friends, but tomorrow you or your friends can be in different situation, upper and lower positions, then the friendship changes. You or your "friends" before don't like to be bosses around. That's for sure.
Or even you and your co-worker are "friendly" today, and are in the same position for long, but tomorrow your co-worker goes to the manager tells tales, or bribes her, because she wants to have favors from her, then it's going to be ugly.
All kinds of things happen at work.
Therefore, I always think work is work. Go to work, do the right things, do your job well, be honest, be professional and respectful. If you want to climb up the ladder, improve yourself, study more, earn knowledge, be smart and be strong. That's what I think. Others can think differently. Whatever.
Last edited by AnOrdinaryCitizen; 12-12-2019 at 07:39 AM..
Yes, you are right. That's the problem for somebody who cares too much about "friends" and cliques at work. Too much dramas.
Work people are not your friends. They are your acquaintances and competitors. They may seem friendly with you, but they actually are watching you. Today you and them look like friends, but tomorrow you or your friends can be in different situation, upper and lower positions, then the friendship changes. You or your "friends" before don't like to be bosses around. That's for sure.
All this being said, if someone I had a good work relationship with suddenly turned cold and dismissive I would still want to find out whether there was a problem. It could affect how we and others work together and how my manager perceives me going forward. If there's some misunderstanding lurking out there I'd rather not have it bleed over into my professional reputation.
Seems to happen several times throughout my years. For example the receptionist at my work , older woman. in her 60’s, I was friendly with. People are always at her desk having conversations. We would talk sometimes. She would tell me all about people in her life, family, politics (we have same views) Never had any issues with her at all. Then all of a sudden in the last week or 2 she is very cold to me. And it’s just me because I can hear other people talking to her all day. People sometimes bring dogs here and she said several times she really wanted to meet mine (don’t like to bring him because he is hyper). So recently my husband was off work and I told her he was going to bring the dog by for a few minutes. She acted as if I was telling her something out of left field. After her telling me how much she wanted to meet my dog and then acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about. When my husband came in she didn’t show any interest in the dog or meeting my husband (other people did) and she is usually very interested in the dogs and people that come in. A few times recently when I talk to her she pretends she is on the phone. Or just gives me one word responds like she has no interest in any further conversation. Yet I hear her being so friendly to people that are around her. I guess the only thing I can do is ask her but I did that once before in another situation and it backfired. That person went and told others and made it a joke on me. People seem to like me at first and then all of a sudden become distant. I mind my own business. I don’t gossip. I don’t tell long stories. I don’t like having too many or long conversation because I need to work. So maybe sometimes I can come off as shy or unfriendly but I am not rude or cold. I don’t know what causes this.
Is this the same husband who is spending over $1000/month and won't give you access to the account to let you see where it's going that you discussed in another very odd thread?
I'm going out on a limb here, and I'm going to say it's probably you. I think you're probably weird. You might want to come to terms with that so you can deal with life from that perspective. I could be wrong, but reading all the posts you've been willing to put out there publicly, I'm taking an educated guess.
Yes, you are right. That's the problem for somebody who cares too much about "friends" and cliques at work. Too much dramas.
Work people are not your friends. They are your acquaintances and competitors. They may seem friendly with you, but they actually are watching you. Today you and them look like friends, but tomorrow you or your friends can be in different situation, upper and lower positions, then the friendship changes. You or your "friends" before don't like to be bosses around. That's for sure.
Or even you and your co-worker are "friendly" today, and are in the same position for long, but tomorrow your co-worker goes to the manager tells tales, or bribes her, because she wants to have favors from her, then it's going to be ugly.
All kinds of things happen at work.
Therefore, I always think work is work. Go to work, do the right things, do your job well, be honest, be professional and respectful. If you want to climb up the ladder, improve yourself, study more, earn knowledge, be smart and be strong. That's what I think. Others can think differently. Whatever.
Exactly. I'm there to work; not make friends. Of course you can be friendly with coworkers, but friendships and romance and all the attendant drama are for outside the office. Those who are there to socialize and party will consider you snobby, but whatever. For a variety of reasons, I don't fit the mold in many social settings, and that's okay with me. It's probably a function of age that people's opinions don't worry me like they used to. Also, the less you associate with women (either at work or at play), the less drama you'll experience.
Yes, you are right. That's the problem for somebody who cares too much about "friends" and cliques at work. Too much dramas.
Work people are not your friends. They are your acquaintances and competitors. They may seem friendly with you, but they actually are watching you. Today you and them look like friends, but tomorrow you or your friends can be in different situation, upper and lower positions, then the friendship changes. You or your "friends" before don't like to be bosses around. That's for sure.
Or even you and your co-worker are "friendly" today, and are in the same position for long, but tomorrow your co-worker goes to the manager tells tales, or bribes her, because she wants to have favors from her, then it's going to be ugly.
All kinds of things happen at work.
Therefore, I always think work is work. Go to work, do the right things, do your job well, be honest, be professional and respectful. If you want to climb up the ladder, improve yourself, study more, earn knowledge, be smart and be strong. That's what I think. Others can think differently. Whatever.
Most people spend a significant portion of their lives at work, and I think the vast majority would like for it to be a pleasant experience. And let's keep in mind that not all jobs are the same. Interacting with co-workers can be very different depending where a person works.
The OP came here with a legitimate issue which is obviously important to her, and I don't feel it should be dismissed as unworthy.
To the OP I would say it's not a big deal. You did something weird (to her) by bringing in the dog. The receptionist has to converse with people because it's a part of her job, so she was surprised that you brought the dog in presumably on her prompting. Now she is upset with you because of that, even though she did a poor job communicating it.
The receptionist is not the kind of person I would want to be friends with personally. Even though people can be expected to act fake at the workplace, I don't like people who are that fake. She doesn't sound like she is that intelligent either. The ability to converse doesn't necessarily mean they are intelligent, it just means they know how to act friendly and they are hired for that reason.
Never discuss politics at work, it doesn't matter if someone shares the same views.
Who knows why she is giving you the cold shoulder, as others have suggested you could ask her if something is wrong.
JMO, I found it simpler to be polite, go out to the occasional lunch with coworkers, not discuss too much personal information, and keep work and social life separate.
This is the conventional wisdom, and you will be well served in some ways by doing this. But let's face it. People are social beings not robots. And people you work with you often spend more time with as a percentage of your life than anyone else. So it is natural to have conversations that are non-trivial and have relationships of some sorts grow overtime. I know HR departments are totally against this but it is human nature.
Thanks. No nothing controversial or sensitive. It’s just strange. She just did it again where she pretended to be on the phone. She did it to me in the kitchen the other day when I asked how her weekend was. She said “good”. Wearing her headset then motioned liked she was on the phone.
OP - do not waste your time or energy worrying about things that you cannot control.
I know it is bothersome but there is nothing you can do, if she can't be pleasant then that is her problem (perhaps there are problems going on in her life that you wouldn't know about).
Just leave it be is the best advice.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
