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Seems to happen several times throughout my years. For example the receptionist at my work , older woman. in her 60’s, I was friendly with. People are always at her desk having conversations. We would talk sometimes. She would tell me all about people in her life, family, politics (we have same views) Never had any issues with her at all. Then all of a sudden in the last week or 2 she is very cold to me. And it’s just me because I can hear other people talking to her all day. People sometimes bring dogs here and she said several times she really wanted to meet mine (don’t like to bring him because he is hyper). So recently my husband was off work and I told her he was going to bring the dog by for a few minutes. She acted as if I was telling her something out of left field. After her telling me how much she wanted to meet my dog and then acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about. When my husband came in she didn’t show any interest in the dog or meeting my husband (other people did) and she is usually very interested in the dogs and people that come in. A few times recently when I talk to her she pretends she is on the phone. Or just gives me one word responds like she has no interest in any further conversation. Yet I hear her being so friendly to people that are around her. I guess the only thing I can do is ask her but I did that once before in another situation and it backfired. That person went and told others and made it a joke on me. People seem to like me at first and then all of a sudden become distant. I mind my own business. I don’t gossip. I don’t tell long stories. I don’t like having too many or long conversation because I need to work. So maybe sometimes I can come off as shy or unfriendly but I am not rude or cold. I don’t know what causes this.
About the only thing I can think to do is to sincerely ask her. "Hi Joyce, maybe it's my imagination, but it seems like there's a coolness coming from you, and I'm wondering if I've done something to offend you. I'd really like to clear the air, if there's something I've done."
You can think back to the last conversation or interaction you had with her. What was the subject? Did it veer into a sensitive or unusual area? Perhaps you could get insight into the problem that way.
If you do decide to ask her about her sudden coolness, keep it short and light.
Thanks. No nothing controversial or sensitive. It’s just strange. She just did it again where she pretended to be on the phone. She did it to me in the kitchen the other day when I asked how her weekend was. She said “good”. Wearing her headset then motioned liked she was on the phone.
She's doing this deliberately, trying to control you. Don't let her bother you, it's her problem. It doesn't matter *why* the lady is acting this way. It is offensive. You think that you were getting along earlier but that is because she is an expert at acting however she chooses. Even if she just wants to get your attention, it's a bad sign. I've known people who behaved this way because they were trying to get someone's attention. But it's a negative energy, and it should already tell you that you wouldn't want to know someone who chose to behave this way. Even if they have good qualities, it's just a bad sign.
If this has happened to you several times — not just twice — it makes a lot of sense to question what you do that impacts your casual relationships. However if it has only happened twice, I think all you should do is maintain your friendliness. Are others avoiding you or distancing themselves from you?
If this has happened to you several times — not just twice — it makes a lot of sense to question what you do that impacts your casual relationships. However if it has only happened twice, I think all you should do is maintain your friendliness. Are others avoiding you or distancing themselves from you?
She's not doing anything wrong. She's just more honest and natural, and some people like this receptionist don't meet many people like that. So they try to pull them into their twisted little world.
The OP is free to act however she wants. But if this lady is no negative to you already, would you even want to know her better? The other people she is friendly with are being fake like she is. It's just surface scum. She only acts friendly with them because you are nearby.
Seems to happen several times throughout my years. For example the receptionist at my work , older woman. in her 60’s, I was friendly with. People are always at her desk having conversations. We would talk sometimes. She would tell me all about people in her life, family, politics (we have same views) Never had any issues with her at all. Then all of a sudden in the last week or 2 she is very cold to me. And it’s just me because I can hear other people talking to her all day. People sometimes bring dogs here and she said several times she really wanted to meet mine (don’t like to bring him because he is hyper). So recently my husband was off work and I told her he was going to bring the dog by for a few minutes. She acted as if I was telling her something out of left field. After her telling me how much she wanted to meet my dog and then acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about. When my husband came in she didn’t show any interest in the dog or meeting my husband (other people did) and she is usually very interested in the dogs and people that come in. A few times recently when I talk to her she pretends she is on the phone. Or just gives me one word responds like she has no interest in any further conversation. Yet I hear her being so friendly to people that are around her. I guess the only thing I can do is ask her but I did that once before in another situation and it backfired. That person went and told others and made it a joke on me. People seem to like me at first and then all of a sudden become distant. I mind my own business. I don’t gossip. I don’t tell long stories. I don’t like having too many or long conversation because I need to work. So maybe sometimes I can come off as shy or unfriendly but I am not rude or cold. I don’t know what causes this.
Never discuss politics at work, it doesn't matter if someone shares the same views.
Who knows why she is giving you the cold shoulder, as others have suggested you could ask her if something is wrong.
JMO, I found it simpler to be polite, go out to the occasional lunch with coworkers, not discuss too much personal information, and keep work and social life separate.
I hate passive aggressive attitudes, I agree with sassyblues ask her directly if you had done something to her. It depends on who, but I usually ignore someone acting that way to me, and just act friendly and nice to them. It really bugged them.
I would not fixate or obsess about someone going cold on me. I find most people aren't worth it anyway. Someone I am not even good friends with, would not be on my radar if they went cold on me. Go out and meet others. Life is too short.
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