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Another thought. If Receptionist goes to the break room quickly or chats briefly at the front desk but still has to mind the phone perhaps the OP has interfered with the Receptionist’s job multiple times by wanting to visit too much. Perhaps the receptionist has been told to be more attentive to the job and she’s decided to discourage OP from interacting with her because OP wants more extensive conversations than a quick passing few words.
No she is the talker. People are at her desk all the time. If I’m there it’s only briefly and she is the one that talked to me and it was hard to get away.
About the only thing I can think to do is to sincerely ask her. "Hi Joyce, maybe it's my imagination, but it seems like there's a coolness coming from you, and I'm wondering if I've done something to offend you. I'd really like to clear the air, if there's something I've done."
Except that this never works. The person will deny that anything is wrong...
Seriously; has ANYONE ever gotten an honest reply when this tactic is tried?
Except that this never works. The person will deny that anything is wrong...
Seriously; has ANYONE ever gotten an honest reply when this tactic is tried?
Well, you can't fix a problem if you don't know what the problem is.
Seems like OP would like to know what's up. How else is she supposed to figure it out? I mean, that's what she was asking. "WHY do people get weird on me?"
IF OP somehow offended this person, the person might appreciate the offer to get it off her chest.
If someone offended me, and approached me to try and "fix it", I'd appreciate it.
My guess: her chit chat about dogs (and possibly a lot of other things) was fake. She's putting on an act of being friendly and liking everyone, to get along, or to be liked. It's a false persona she adopts for her job. Maybe she thinks it will get her raises or good performance reviews, or something. So that when you followed up on her stated wish to meet your dog, she didn't even remember having said that, or never meant it to be taken seriously. So you caught her by surprise. Everyone else probably doesn't give her chit chat a second thought, taking it just to be pleasantries exchanged. But you took her seriously, almost as if she were a friend, or wanted to be your friend.
That may have happened in the other instance, where someone told others and it became a joke about you. I've done that, when I was a lot younger. It's like when someone says, "Hey, great talking to you! We should do lunch!" as they're parting with you. And you think they really mean it, so you call them, or the next time you see them you say, "Hey, how about we have lunch tomorrow", and they have no idea what you're talking about, and get weirded out, and suddenly things become very awkward.
It may have been something like that, with her dog comments. You didn't do anything to offend her, except take her seriously. Nothing to apologize for or seek clarification of. Live and learn.
Ruth, I think you hit the nail on the head. The OP said she mentioned a few times about bringing her dog in, but when it actually looked like it would happen played dumb. This woman had no interest in seeing the dog, it is just like the old "let's do lunch".
Quote:
Originally Posted by SWFL_Native
How about instead of making it about you then you ask about her. If you just ask she might be going through something difficult right now.
Not a good idea, this coworker seems to be giving the OP the cold shoulder, but is still chatty with others.
What Ruth said makes sense, this receptionist realized that the OP took her at face value, and now has backed off from the OP because she was just putting out a fake persona, She realizes the OP took her seriously. So she is now sticking to those who know her chatting isn't to be taken seriously, not someone like the OP who did.
OP starts asking her is anything wrong, and ends in a meeting with HR that the receptionist feels she is now being harassed by the OP.
Best thing to do is be polite and smile, and say hello in the morning and goodbye at night.
Ruth, I think you hit the nail on the head. The OP said she mentioned a few times about bringing her dog in, but when it actually looked like it would happen played dumb. This woman had no interest in seeing the dog, it is just like the old "let's do lunch".
Not a good idea, this coworker seems to be giving the OP the cold shoulder, but is still chatty with others.
What Ruth said makes sense, this receptionist realized that the OP took her at face value, and now has backed off from the OP because she was just putting out a fake persona, She realizes the OP took her seriously. So she is now sticking to those who know her chatting isn't to be taken seriously, not someone like the OP who did.
I’m not trying to make friends. Never have I extended anything outside office talk. The dog thing I took seriously because she seems to love dogs and it always interested when they come in.
Another thing I notice is when I got a call and she would transfer it to me she always had info in the person and the invoice #. I didn’t ask for it or expect it but it was nice. Now she just says the company he is calling from and transfers it to me.
Yesterday I tried to approach her about a work related question. Once she said “hold on” as she walked away and didn’t come back to ask what I needed. Then later I listened to check if she was on the phone. Didn’t hear her talking. Went over there and she was texting. Looked at me and motioned to her headset like he was on the phone.
Last edited by JenniferLB75; 12-11-2019 at 10:38 AM..
But they WERE friendly. That's the whole issue. The receptionist USED to be friendly, and now she's not. We don't know why, and OP doesn't know why, and now the Receptionist is behaving in a hurtful and baffling way.
OP is never going to know the WHY unless she respectfully asks why, and tries to clear the air.
This is work, not a friend or the neighbor next door(who was friendly and now no longer is). In those cases you ask, in this scenario you don't.
The OP never mentioned going to lunches with this woman, or seeing her outside of work. If the woman quit or the OP quit, they would never see each other again.
Best to let it go, again what Ruth said makes sense.
Going to the receptionist will either be met with "no, you didn't do anything wrong, don't know what you're talking about", or worse a complaint to HR.
I’m not trying to make friends. Never have I extended anything outside office talk. The dog thing I took seriously because she seems to love dogs and it always interested when they come in.
Another thing I notice is when I got a call and she would transfer it to me she always had info in the person and the invoice #. I didn’t ask for it or expect it but it was nice. Now she just says the company he is calling from and transfers it to me.
You seem like a very sincere person. You took her seriously, she realizes that and has now backed away from you.
You didn't do anything wrong, but learn a lesson from this.
but she is friendly to everyone else. Only changed with me.
ask her
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