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Might be entertaining. You wouldn't have to stay long.
You're an adult. Be nice.
Maybe compromise. Show up, accept her gift, give yours, and think up a reason you can't stay.
But I don't think not going is awful - that is a LOT of family get togethers in a short time. If you don't go, you have to send a gift I think. You'll be getting whatever she got you later. Or bring it to the New Year's dinner.
But we are doing dinner tonight, tomorrow and on New Year's day. That's already 3 times in one week! Dinner with her kids would be the 4th in one week. Seems like overkill.
So skip the New Year's Day thing and go to the big family gathering with her kids instead. Then that's still only 3 dinners. Make your dad and his GF happy and a word to the wise ..... you should get on the good side of her if you know what's good for you in the future.
And yes, you are being kind of bratty towards her after all the nonsense she has put up with from your dad for all these years and she is trying to be nice to you. Smarten up and make friends with her and turn her into your ally.
If I was in your position... I'd go to the 27th dinner then skip the New Year's dinner. No need to start off a new year having to deal with your dad/gf. I'd also would give them a gift certificate to Red Robin or whatever, But that's just me.
I can understand not wanting to invest more time or money. I think you were being just a bit of a brat telling your dad off, but then again, he doesn't sound like a real peach.
RJ, no most mature adult children don’t act like you. You are selfish. To the OP I would definitely skip New Years. Not a good way to start the year.
My dad's current girlfriend is not my favorite.
......
I don't think I am being rude by rejecting her dinner nor not buying her a gift in return?
I applaud you for having even that much of manship to stay around them, period.
I probably would make an excuse to travel over the country and be as far from them as possible.
It's expected your father is older and more experienced and he shouldn't assume his children to approve all his bs. Unless your (from him) inheritance is at stake, I would keep away from all of them except of your (blood) siblings. On the other hand if he's personally in need of your physical help and or care I would make myself available but would stress my reasons why I am doing that. And, on the third hand, , the way you describing his mistress and your stepmother or whatever her status is in your family, I would not be surprised if her children or at least some of them are your step(blood)sibling.
First I think my complaining about him and her kind of ruined the point I was trying to make. I think that was a mistake on my part. Really what I meant to focus on here was the overkill of invitations and family events, but I realize I kind of ranted about them. They just tend to frustrate me on regular basis and I was venting.
The real focus for me on this was the context of it all really. The overkill of family events. Dinner on 12/24, brunch on 12/25, dinner on 12/27 and dinner on 01/01 with the same group of people for the most part. It's just way too much. So much that I just found out most people cancelled on them for 12/27. Her kids are no longer going on 12/27, my sister is not going anymore, I am not going, and my two aunts who were also invited, have declined now, because they even told my dad to his face they are sick of holiday parties. So now out of the 15 people they invited (this includes spouses) only 5 will be there, my dad, his gf, and my three younger siblings. The other 10 invited have now declined the invitation.
As for 1/1, the dinner is more because my cousin from California is going to be in town that day as she will be passing through. So that one is logical as it is the only day we will be able to see her and it's been more than a year since we last saw her.
Also, not that I need to explain this to anyone, while his girlfriend always annoys me I am nothing but nice, civil towards her. I just don't pretend that our relationship is more than it is, which she loves to do. My dad while he disappoints me in so many ways, at the end of the day he is my father, and aside from his infidelity and the chaos and instability it brought with, he has been a great father.
I just don't pretend that our relationship is more than it is, which she loves to do.
What if she isn't actually pretending? What if she's simply trying?
Also, is there a chance that you give your dad more credit than he really deserves? He doesn't sound like much of a role model.
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, the way you describing his mistress and your stepmother or whatever her status is in your family, I would not be surprised if her children or at least some of them are your step(blood)sibling.
