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Old 01-10-2023, 06:30 AM
 
30,166 posts, read 11,795,579 times
Reputation: 18687

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rent.in.ny View Post
You have a roommate. If he pays his rent on time, is clean and quiet, he can stay 24 hrs at home and you can do nothing against it. if you want to be alone YOU go out or MOVE.

I have never read in an ad..."MUST leave the house for at least 4 hours per day, so that I can be alone." Ridiculous.
I have seen ads that say must work outside of home. Not sure if that is legally enforceable. Meaning can you have a rental agreement that states they must have an outside job and can you evict them if they do not follow that? But people run ads for "sleeping rooms" which are suppose to be for sleeping only.
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Old 01-10-2023, 08:07 AM
 
11,067 posts, read 6,881,999 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rent.in.ny View Post
You have a roommate. If he pays his rent on time, is clean and quiet, he can stay 24 hrs at home and you can do nothing against it. if you want to be alone YOU go out or MOVE.

I have never read in an ad..."MUST leave the house for at least 4 hours per day, so that I can be alone." Ridiculous.
Many years ago I had just moved to a big new city. After paying and moving in, the woman says "Can you leave Friday evening and stay somewhere else on Friday nights? That's when my boyfriend comes over." It was more like an order. I just looked at her and said I didn't know anyone here and didn't think I should have to rent a motel room or sleep in my car.
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Old 01-10-2023, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Chicago
2,234 posts, read 2,405,241 times
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Honestly, your roommate has every right to stay home all day as long as the person pays the rent and isn't messy or disruptive. If you need privacy in your apartment, just go in your room.. or live alone.
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Old 01-10-2023, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Mt. Lebanon
2,001 posts, read 2,513,131 times
Reputation: 2351
Being a slob, most likely.
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Old 01-10-2023, 11:02 AM
 
6,460 posts, read 7,796,492 times
Reputation: 15981
Quote:
Originally Posted by lair8 View Post
It's infuriating to never have alone time. I feel like I may as well be living with my parents.
Isn't that part of the deal with a roommate? Not being snippy. Part of it is a lack of privacy.

If you think that's bad, wait until you get married and have kids!

Best of luck.
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Old 01-10-2023, 11:08 AM
 
6,868 posts, read 4,866,838 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pathrunner View Post
Many years ago I had just moved to a big new city. After paying and moving in, the woman says "Can you leave Friday evening and stay somewhere else on Friday nights? That's when my boyfriend comes over." It was more like an order. I just looked at her and said I didn't know anyone here and didn't think I should have to rent a motel room or sleep in my car.
How long did that arrangement last? It was an unreasonable request, but I suppose if she had told any prospective roommates upfront that she wanted them gone on Fridays that she would have had difficulty getting a roommate.
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Old 01-10-2023, 12:01 PM
 
11,067 posts, read 6,881,999 times
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It's been so long that I don't remember. Not very long. She was a strange person, a former alcoholic, not a very nice person.

Roommates need to be respectful, kind, courteous and communicative, flexible and adaptable. I've been both very unlucky and very lucky.

Most of the time when you are the renter they mostly want your money and not your presence, but everyone knows that.
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Old 01-10-2023, 03:13 PM
 
Location: Canada
14,735 posts, read 15,038,045 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lair8 View Post
Working from home is fine. Being a homebody is okay. But doing both is the problem.

Do as you please. I don't judge anyone's choices. But if you're about that 23-1 supermax prison lifestyle, don't live with me.
People with control issues who have expectations or demands about how other people live their lives are not good room-mate material and should be living alone. OP - You qualify as somebody who should be living alone.

If a person owns their own house and is renting a room out to a paying roomer then the owner has a right to specify certain things within reason that they want the roomer to adhere to. Expecting a roomer to not spend as much time as they want to at home doesn't qualify as a right nor is it reasonable. It's a bad control issue. Therefore the unreasonable home owner with control issues will end up going through a series of unhappy room mates coming and leaving one after the other until such time as the home owner realizes that sharing their home with any other person(s) is a very bad idea and they must stop doing it.

If room mates are sharing a rented home with each other, as long as the tenants are all adhering to mutual reasonable expectations such as you mentioned - i.e. Don't break anything. Don't be loud at 1AM. Don't invite sketchy people/hard drug users over. Don't steal the other person's food, etc. - everything should be hunky dory. If somebody wants to have alone time they should spend their alone time in their own room or else leave the house and go somewhere else for a few hours. A person who wants to have the whole home to their self to enjoy their alone time and expects other people to leave home for their convenience is not good room-mate material. Always remember this - The person who has unreasonable expectations of their room-mates is not good room-mate material and needs to move out and find a home of their own that they don't have to share with others.

I say this as someone who has very rigid control issues about my home and what happens in it and I don't have to account to anybody else for the way I live. I don't feel any guilt about admitting it and I'm happy living alone exactly the way I want to live. There is no way come hell or high water that I would ever again share my home with another person to live with me except for if I have a weekend guest visiting. Anything beyond a couple of days would drive me crazy and might cause me to become unfriendly towards the guest and tell them to leave.

.
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Old 01-10-2023, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Mr. Roger's Neighborhood
4,088 posts, read 2,562,030 times
Reputation: 12495
Quote:
Originally Posted by pathrunner View Post
Many years ago I had just moved to a big new city. After paying and moving in, the woman says "Can you leave Friday evening and stay somewhere else on Friday nights? That's when my boyfriend comes over." It was more like an order. I just looked at her and said I didn't know anyone here and didn't think I should have to rent a motel room or sleep in my car.

That woman sounds like the roommate I had when I was a freshman in college. My roommate had a much older (early thirties guy who still lived with his folks, making him a loser by mid-nineties standards) boyfriend who liked to come over fairly frequently. She and the boyfriend would require that I leave whenever he was there, so I used to crash with a friend at a neighboring dorm and study elsewhere.

That went on for about two months until the friend who I was crashing with told me to just tell the roommate that I had to study and proceed to do so--no need for discussion, but just action. After all, half of the room was mine--shagging roommate and her loser boyfriend or not.

She moved down the hall within two weeks into a single, leaving me with a double all to myself.
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Old 01-10-2023, 05:14 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
6,341 posts, read 4,905,591 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lair8 View Post
Of course there are obvious rules such as: Don't break anything. Don't be loud at 1AM. Don't invite sketchy people/hard drug users over. Don't steal the other person's food.

But Covid has made me aware of a major dealbreaker. People who stay at home all day. I'm talking about the people who work from home and then spend most of their free time home too, and maybe only take an hour out of the day to go out for groceries and whatnot. Except covid is over and many people are still continuing their lockdown lifestyle.

It's infuriating to never have alone time. I feel like I may as well be living with my parents.
Then don't get a roommate. Roommates can be, and often are, nightmares. And once you have them it's too late to back away without costing you lots of money.

Live by yourself in a studio or efficiency apartment if that's all you can afford. If you can't even afford that, maybe your parents haven't taken over your old room yet.

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