Minimum Waged Sister-in-law died, should she have a Fancy Funeral?

[Dingler]

But it's sad and maybe a little weird of you, Dingler, to refer to her as the minimum wage SIL. What a way to remember her.

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I was trying to make a point. When someone was making about minimum wage all their life and had no assets in the world, it is more logical to keep costs down in life and death. If someone was a millionaire then a fancy funeral would not be so unusual.

Also when her brother died last year he left the world with $20K in Credit Card debt, unemployed and her parents decided they should have a very expensive funeral. It cost my wife almost $5000 out of her (our) own money to pay for her share of the overpriced- over the top funeral. Her parents demanded my wife pay 1/3 the cost without considering my wife's opinion on how much should be spent. Now they will do the whole thing all over again.

I do not believe that someone has to spend alot of money to celebrate a relatives life after a death.

[Pixie Dust]

Originally Posted by Dingler

But it's sad and maybe a little weird of you, Dingler, to refer to her as the minimum wage SIL. What a way to remember her.

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I was trying to make a point. When someone was making about minimum wage all their life and had no assets in the world, it is more logical to keep costs down in life and death. If someone was a millionaire then a fancy funeral would not be so unusual.

Dingler, what do her parents want to do and what were her wishes???

[FLPL75]

Originally Posted by Dingler

But it's sad and maybe a little weird of you, Dingler, to refer to her as the minimum wage SIL. What a way to remember her.

==============================================
I was trying to make a point. When someone was making about minimum wage all their life and had no assets in the world, it is more logical to keep costs down in life and death. If someone was a millionaire then a fancy funeral would not be so unusual.

So dingler you are saying because someone isn't rich they don't deserve to be honnored and have the respects paid to them?
The main question it is not your money so why do you care?
Unless you are hoping that the parents use the money to give to their other children (your wife).
As an in-law I would suggest you keep your feelings to yourself, saying these things to your in-laws can cause a "rift" in the family. Aren't they going through enough right now.
Remember your wife lost her sister I would concentrate more on offering her emotional support, rather than worrying what her parents are going to do with the money they receive from the insurance.

[Cosmic]

Originally Posted by myfask

So dingler you are saying because someone isn't rich they don't deserve to be honnored and have the respects paid to them?
The main question it is not your money so why do you care?
Unless you are hoping that the parents use the money to give to their other children (your wife).
As an in-law I would suggest you keep your feelings to yourself, saying these things to your in-laws can cause a "rift" in the family. Aren't they going through enough right now.
Remember your wife lost her sister I would concentrate more on offering her emotional support, rather than worrying what her parents are going to do with the money they receive from the insurance.

He is saying it happened before and he via his wife wound up paying for something he feels was a waste. His fears are it will happen again and they will go well over the money in hand and it will then once again be shared out.

It has happened to me, where these fancy funerals get bummed out as "Shares" and you have no say. Apparently some ignored what I posted before. That funeral industry knows how to catch folks at very vulnerable times and really tuck it to you. I know a lot about this industry.

You are not dishonoring a relative by refusing to spend vast sums on a fancy funeral. Money is for the living, the undertakers are very skilled in relieving you of a lot it. A lot of it is by playing on guilt or feelings about how someone has died.

In the longer run, you are better having a place to visit, some particular spot that the family believes "Belongs" to a person who has died. That does not have to be a grave. It can be a cremation and putting the ashes in with someone else and adding an engraving to a headstone.

The money part can be the cause of this "Riff" that you speak of, especially if they really could not afford it. Even today, I regret being played for the sucker in those games. If somebody expects to blow a big wad on a funeral, like most things in life they should have provided for it. Doesn't sound like this particular lady did. Has zero to do with honor or respect.