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If you want your kids to have a mom and a dad, provide them - make better decisions BEFORE procreating - parenting starts before conception, IMO.
Wow... I guess I should have looked at my crystal ball before my daughter was born and saw that her dad would die when she was 11 yrs old. How stupid of me not to!
I actually have no issue with her school having Muffins with Mom or Doughnuts with Dad days. The Dad day is a sad one for her but but we talk about how different families are structured differently and all the wonderful people she does have in her life. She has now started making her 'Father's Day' project into 'Uncle's Day' projects or making them for me. Her teachers have been wonderful about her changing things up when they know the circumstances.
I can't keep the pain of losing her dad from her but I can try to help her develop positive ways to deal with it and not just try to avoid it or pretend it doesn't exist.
Of course the world should not have to stop because Johnny doesn't have a dad or Susie doesn't have a mom, or vice versa. We all have to learn to live with the cards we have been dealt.
But what is the POINT of schools perpetuating this practice? What exactly does it accomplish? Yes, for a FIVE year old showing off your Dad to your classmates really is exciting, which is what makes it all the worse for the other FIVE year olds that are not able to do this because they don't have a Dad.
Why Is it necessary for the school to set up a classroom event that sets up FIVE year olds to be disappointed? Yes, there will be other events where parents will be present and the kid without a dad will not have a dad there, but at least there will be other family.
But donuts with Dad just slaps the kid in the face with reality and is absolutely pointless and unnecessary and honestly has no place in the classroom in the middle of the day. Dad can have donuts with his kid on Saturday. Mom can have muffins on Sunday. I just don't see the point, other than giving the PTA something to do.
Oh, and we are talking about a FIVE year old here.
Of course the world should not have to stop because Johnny doesn't have a dad or Susie doesn't have a mom, or vice versa. We all have to learn to live with the cards we have been dealt.
I wish the vernacular would change to reflect the diversity of today's family. Bring your mom's same sexed partner to school day? How about bring a male role model to school day? Bring someone important in your life to school day. But any way you slice it, I don't see the point. If someone important in your life is going to come to school, they won't wait for a "day" to do it.
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But what is the POINT of schools perpetuating this practice? What exactly does it accomplish? Yes, for a FIVE year old showing off your Dad to your classmates really is exciting, which is what makes it all the worse for the other FIVE year olds that are not able to do this because they don't have a Dad.
Why Is it necessary for the school to set up a classroom event that sets up FIVE year olds to be disappointed? Yes, there will be other events where parents will be present and the kid without a dad will not have a dad there, but at least there will be other family.
But donuts with Dad just slaps the kid in the face with reality and is absolutely pointless and unnecessary and honestly has no place in the classroom in the middle of the day. Dad can have donuts with his kid on Saturday. Mom can have muffins on Sunday. I just don't see the point, other than giving the PTA something to do.
Oh, and we are talking about a FIVE year old here.
But what is the POINT of schools perpetuating this practice? What exactly does it accomplish? Yes, for a FIVE year old showing off your Dad to your classmates really is exciting, which is what makes it all the worse for the other FIVE year olds that are not able to do this because they don't have a Dad.
From what I was told (I questioned it years ago because there were two other children in my daughter's class who had lost a parent), it was a way to get the parents involved at the school and to help foster the child's relationship with the parent in a school setting. Also, to allow parents to interact with each other.
Even as a working parent, I am VERY involved in my daughter's academic life. I make sure I know what's happening, how she's doing, I meet the teachers, volunteer when I'm able and I meet parents if she's to go to a birthday party or outing. I really don't think that having a morning a year with a parent at the school really makes a difference. You're either involved or you aren't. My parents didn't even go to conferences when I was growing up.
Many times my daughter has asked me to skip Muffins with Mom because I'd have to use vacation and she would rather I use the day for an all-day field trip or when she was off school.
Men like to accomplish things. If the PTA wants to get men more involved, give them something meaningful to do. Standing on display, or sitting in an audience wondering whether your kid will even know you are there is irritating. We want to do something. If there is a need at the school, point us and let go and it will get done. That is how men are.
I've come to the conlusion that at my kids' school, the reason very few dads get involved with the PTA is because the PTA is typically a collection of clicky gossiping mothers, with different clicks backstabbing and talking behind the backs of mothers not in their little click. Its sometimes as juvenile as a group of middle schoolers. And I'm sure this is commonplace among PTAs.
My children have two parents, that are married, were married when they were born and are their natural parents. Yet, because some don't have those, we have "Donuts with Dudes" and "Donuts with Divas"... stupid. My kids don't have grandparents in the area, but they still have a "Grandparents Day" - of course, I have better things to do with my time than protest other children's ability to enjoy a day with their Grammy. My kids feel sad on those days. So, should they call it "Older People Day" instead? I think so. Their Grammy died last spring - I think I should SUE!
"Doughnuts with Wrinkly Dudes/Dudettes?"
"Bring a Prune to School day"?
"Doughnuts for the nearly dead"?
Ah but then what about the kids with grandparents who are only 38?
Hi everyone. I'm a single mother and my son's elementary school has "bring DAD to school" day today. Now, I'm probably just being a little sensitive, but why would they have this day in school? So many children live without fathers, whether it be that the fathers are on business trips or deployed by military and other jobs; divorced; living in another city or state; incarcerated; ill, or even deceased. I'm thinking about the child who will probably say (upsettingly) "I don't have a dad" or "My dad can't come" etc. Why do schools continue to insist on having these "special" days knowing the seprartation rate between father and child nowadays?
I know there are fathers who are with their kids, or even single fathers that obtain custody of their children. So why not have "bring a PARENT or GUARDIAN to school" day? I've noticed they don't have "bring MOM to school" day, so why single the fathers out? Or just discontinue having this day period, that way no kids (or parent) will be hurt by the fact they can't participate like some of their friends.
Like I said, I may be over thinking it and am being sensitive about it. I just want to know how everyone else feels and if I may be the only one thinking this way.
I believe you are oversensitive. Because other kids do not have their dad for whateve reason it is not enough to deny kids from their dads at school. Life is not fair at times. You may say "but these are kids". You are right and it is sad but this will simply help them deal with adversity in life and realize not everybody has everything and what others have. They lear not cope. School counselor know how to handle this and help kids in conjunction with their parents.
As far as Parent of Guardian day, will that make dads look any different? No, they will still look like men and dad and their children will call them dad or pa or daddy, whatever.
Why they do no make a bring mom to school day, sure, I am with you. Why not? It is up to you and the school to work something like that. What I do not agree is when people bring up an issue like this with a war mentality and screaming unfairness that often causes divisions and quarrels. Just bring it up and see if they can have such day. Take care.
They should probably not specify dad's.... And allow the kids to bring a male role model in theirnlife, whether that be a grandparent, uncle or other relative or close family friend.
Hi everyone. I'm a single mother and my son's elementary school has "bring DAD to school" day today. Now, I'm probably just being a little sensitive, but why would they have this day in school? So many children live without fathers, whether it be that the fathers are on business trips or deployed by military and other jobs; divorced; living in another city or state; incarcerated; ill, or even deceased. I'm thinking about the child who will probably say (upsettingly) "I don't have a dad" or "My dad can't come" etc. Why do schools continue to insist on having these "special" days knowing the seprartation rate between father and child nowadays?
I know there are fathers who are with their kids, or even single fathers that obtain custody of their children. So why not have "bring a PARENT or GUARDIAN to school" day? I've noticed they don't have "bring MOM to school" day, so why single the fathers out? Or just discontinue having this day period, that way no kids (or parent) will be hurt by the fact they can't participate like some of their friends.
Like I said, I may be over thinking it and am being sensitive about it. I just want to know how everyone else feels and if I may be the only one thinking this way.
I don't think it's a good idea, either. In kindergarten, my daughter's school had "Dad and Donuts" day, where the fathers came in and had donuts with the kids. My now-ex was too hungover to get out of bed that morning, so he just didn't go. The mom of one girl who didn't have a father in her life came instead, but I was at work and didn't know my husband wasn't going to show up at our daughter's school until it was too late or I would have had my father go to her class.
My daughter still remembers being the only kid in the class without a parent there, fifteen years later.
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