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I'll be the one to say that Smack Ass Friday isn't the issue here. That sort of thing is pretty normal teenage behavior. However, the other issues OP mentions give me cause for concern. I agree with the alternate school or military school.
Seems the typical over reaction to a school. Whatever happened to detention? Hate to break it to you but your kid has some interests in girls... Get the waterboarding out!
Your school has made it difficult to deal with school but I suspect another school will be just fine. talk to him and tell him the schools have no sense of humor.
Yes, the schools have co-ed playgrounds because they don't have enough sense themselves. I know a family whose kid was suspended for 3 days for giving a girl a wedgie in the 8th grade, it was something the boys were doing to each other and she wanted to play with the boys instead of hanging with other girls. Her mother took it as a sexual assault and made a big deal over it.
It's not appropriate play obviously but boys do put other boys in headlocks without killing them. I think the mother has to protect her son from being labeled as some kind of pervert. If he's been expelled, do whatever it takes to get him to a private school, especially one that knows how 12 year old boys can be. A 12 year is just getting hormonal, doesn't always know his own strength and rough play with friends is not as abnormal as they are trying to make it seem.
There was some common sense when they didn't have co-ed everything and this kind of thing was one big reason why they didn't.
No it goes further 1 parent was concerned and the other 1 was witnessed by staff....I wish it was just the butt....he plays a lot & said he was playn by puttn 1 grl in the headlock and makn her apologize for hitting him but I've been told he pushed her up against the wall & touched her....he admitted that both times were the butt & they were playn with the other incident....the alternate school can't even control the students there...ie bullies, selln pills @ school, fighters....my son will be ate alive, he is almost an A student never been suspended EVER, & is well liked by his teachers IDK What 2 do
IF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED WITH MY GIRLS I JUST WOULD HAVE CALLED THE PARENTS MYSELF...or if it happened 2 me @ that age I would have (did) pull hiss pants fown & smacked him
You guys, this has nothing to do with smacking someone's ass, read the above highlighted section, he pushed her up against a wall and fondled her. This has nothing to do with rough-housing or shenanigans.
Last edited by Zimbochick; 12-05-2011 at 07:14 AM..
You guys, this has nothing to do with smacking someone's ass, read the above highlighted section, he pushed her up against a wall and fondled her. This is not nothing with rough-housing or shenanigans.
But where were those adults in that school that playgrounds were not supervised?
You don't even have a middle school dance left unchaperoned. You don't have coed sleepovers at that age. Of course the boy should never have been playing with a girl in the first place, and if the school allows co-ed play then some adult should have been there keeping things from getting to this point.
I remember in 8th grade that boys would snap the back of girls' bras and the teachers stepped in and stopped them without making a federal case and getting 12 year olds branded for life.
The mother should not make light of this, but if it's the kids' first real discipline problem, it also has to be handled right. I think since he's been expelled, it's time to look for a school that better handles boys, a private school or all-boys school. Obviously he has to be taught that this kind of thing is inappropriate but he's only 12 and learning.
There is nothing wrong with horse play at home but the child needs to know there is a time and place for everything. A head lock is not horseplay with a girl unless she is being aggressive towards the boy, in this day and age girls are getting more aggressive. This is the second time this has happened what happened the first time? Was he given in school suspension with counseling? If yes, then you may want to send him off to live with daddy where there might be more discipline and time to change the scenery. I do not wrestle with my son or horseplay in that manor my husband does. If you cannot change then I would talk with the school about suspension and having him come back but get involved in some sort of male sport with a male mentor so the boy can understand some things are appropriate with his male friends but they are not appropriate with his female friends especially in school. Ex: Would we have played spin the bottle in the hallways, 5 minutes in heaven, etc. at school? No, but certainly would have at a party.....
But where were those adults in that school that playgrounds were not supervised?
You don't even have a middle school dance left unchaperoned. You don't have coed sleepovers at that age. Of course the boy should never have been playing with a girl in the first place, and if the school allows co-ed play then some adult should have been there keeping things from getting to this point.
She said in the post I quoted that this fondling was witnessed by staff.
I'm sorry, but if a boy put my daughter in a headlock then touched her inappropriately I would be crazy mad. By 8th grade kids know right from wrong and your son was so in the wrong and now he needs to deal with the consequences of his actions. You are actually lucky no charges are being filed for assult.
You need to get him into some counseling and soon. As far as the alternative school goes, it may not be the best, but he has made his bed...
She said in the post I quoted that this fondling was witnessed by staff.
And where were the staff when these "smack-a**" Fridays started and went on? I think the school has allowed things to get out-of-hand when they had every reason to better supervise the coed playgrounds since it's the school that decided to have these coed playgrounds in the first place.
That's why I think it's time for a better school, one that doesn't allow "smack-a**" Fridays in the first place. A school that understands the nature of 12 year old boys and girls a little better.
I also agree with the poster who suggested sports, give him a safer outlet.
No getting around it. Your son did a stupid thing and now he has to pay the consequences for it. I would send him to the alternative school in the hopes that after a while of good behavior he could return to his regular school - both older and wiser. If you think he needs counseling - please get him counseling. If you think that this experience and this punishment are enough to get him back on track, counseling may not be necessary.
Do take this incident very seriously and expect better behavior from him - no more touching girls at school. No more horsing around at school. No more headlocks at any time.
8th grade is more like 14 than 12...either way....headlocks are a dangerous way to be "playing" anyway. And while it wouldn't surprise me (I do have a teen son) to have boys horsing around after school and using headlocks stupidly and inappropriately...doing that to a girl and at school and then touching inappropriately? No. That is not just normal goofing around. Sorry mom. Time to find out what is really going on here.
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