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Of course they are happy. Fewer than half pay rent regularly and they are not financially independent. This recession is making a new class of young adults who think nothing of living with Mom and Dad. We talk about "kick em out at 18" but it just isn't possible now. I worry about how this will change what being an independent adult means.
Well to me, there is no kick them out at 18. I dont believe that just because some obscure date has passed the children suddenly become responsible adults. At 17 3/4 they are kids but at 18 they are adults, no way.
But beyond that, about them living at home. Where I come from, and in many and many generations passed, it has been perfectly acceptable and expected to live at home until you get married and are financially on your own. You may do that when you are 19 or when you are 28. At some point you move on, but until you are capable of taking care of yourself and your spouse and vice versa, you live at home.
Why isn't is possible for 18yr olds to leave the home now just because of the economy? 18yrs need to go back to being ok with living with roommates and working and earning their own way in life instead of using mommy and daddy as a safety net. The problem with young adults now is that they want to live a lifestyle they can't afford and they think "NEED" a family starter home or condo as their first place instead of moving in with 2-3 friends in a 2-3 bedroom apartment or small home and splitting costs and saving up money for the future
I moved out at 21, having just graduated from college and secured a good job, and I'm grateful that my parents allowed me to live with them for a few years after high school. It meant I was able to graduate with minimal student loan debt (and I did work while i was in school, often full time, so they didn't pay for everything). But I also see nothing wrong with the opposite approach, move out when you turn 18 and pay your own way (although with few exceptions, most people i know who did that either moved back in after a year or so, or they are still working low paying jobs some years later, it's hard to afford an education when you can barely pay the bills...and i don't blame them for not wanting to end up several thousand in debt. Even community college where I grew up is kinda pricy!) so it's arguable how successful that approach is...depending on how you define success.
I do see a lot of people in my age range (I'm 23) living at home with their parents, but usually it's because they're in school, or in transition looking for a job. As always, I believe there is middle ground to be had. There will always be freeloaders, but if you are a working member contributing to the household expenses and upkeep, or a member of the family working on your studies (while contributing to household upkeep and personal expenses) nothing's wrong with living at home for a few years after college. Or beyond that. The caveat is you need to be a contributing member of the household in some way rather than just freeloading off your parents and working a job a few hours a week to pay for nights out on the weekend. Plus there are cultures that encourage their children to live with them well into adulthood, until marriage, or even while married with children, and I'm not going to tell them they're wrong/the kids are lazy because I don't follow those cultural norms.
What always cracked me up was when my friends living in college dorms would ask me why I didn't want to move out and be independent, guess who was paying for their dorms??
What I've noticed is that most kids who move out are just supported by their mom and dad and then act like big boys even though they probably don't even pay their own car insurance or buy their own cars or pay their rent or you name it lol.
I don't think it is a big deal for someone to be living at home if they are being productive and at home for a good reason. If they are at home, not in school, not really looking for work or working in a crappy job then they should be kicked out of the house if they are over 20 or 21 years old.
Everything has gotten very lenient in the world, I see FAR too many people with the entitlement attitude, not only in USA... but everywhere in the world.
What I've noticed is that most kids who move out are just supported by their mom and dad and then act like big boys even though they probably don't even pay their own car insurance or buy their own cars or pay their rent or you name it lol.
I don't think it is a big deal for someone to be living at home if they are being productive and at home for a good reason. If they are at home, not in school, not really looking for work or working in a crappy job then they should be kicked out of the house if they are over 20 or 21 years old.
Everything has gotten very lenient in the world, I see FAR too many people with the entitlement attitude, not only in USA... but everywhere in the world.
I have noticed the bolded too! You're not independent if your parents are paying for you to live away from them. Just kills me.
As to the rest of your post, I agree with you 100%.
sure it is possible. but the curse of the boomer: we cannot bear to deny our children that which we never had, of course that is what made us so strong.
the greatest gift and the least appreciated given by the greatest generation: discipline.
why would they want to move out? They have the run of the house, fridge, use the family car, stay out all night, bring friends home, drink at home and even have their own entrances. What a deal.
I never would have dared to do those things while living in my parents home. I wanted to do all those things but knew I had to have my own place to be able to pull it off.
I think too many parents are desperate to hang on to their children and indulge them too much. The entitlement generation scares me--it really does. I've had to deal with it with my own grown children but it was nipped in the bud very quickly.
Last time my son asked for money for a trip home (he's in Singapore) I told him I would not insult him by letting him think I did not have enough confidence that he could take care of himself. Sure I want to see him but I know he will just have to make some cuts in other areas of his life for this trip. That is what being a grown up means. He's due here in 2 weeks. So somehow he did find the money and I knew he would.
My kids are both Gen Y.
They both got jobs in their degree, they are both married, and they both own houses.
It IS possible to leave the nest!
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