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I'm saying to doesn't matter the age.
Men are going to look, leer and have their thoughts and opinions, it doesn't matter what your kid is wearing, men are men and you can't control them, as long as they control themselves and keep their thoughts to themselves why are you so hell bent on controlling what they think?
There is a difference in not caring what others think and having your own style and not caring how you yourself looks and dressing like a slob. Is there really? This is your opinion...period! That's all it is.
If you like colorful skinny jeans and band teens by all means go ahead. But if you're dressing like you don't give a damn about yourself then maybe you should care about YOURSELF a little bit more and dress like you give a damn about yourself.
Ah...but see, there's that totally contradicting "stuff" again. No one is supposed to care what other people think....yet here you are, "assuming" that.....you can look at a person and judge whether or not they give a damn about themselves, based strictly on their clothes. If they're wearing clothes which you consider to be "sloppy", they are "slobs". Yet, no one is supposed to care what anyone else thinks. LOL
So...what you're saying is..."When you get ready to go out into public, you should pay attention to what you're wearing. People will judge you by the clothes you are wearing." Hmmmm I believe that's what WE were saying and what you were arguing with us about.
I wasn't talking about "us." I was responding to a post about an 11 year old girl. I could give a damn less how a man stares at grown woman, and not concerned with any male's private thoughts. We are talking about our children, not fashion, not how much guys are attracted to "us," not what guys think about "us." Our CHILDREN.
Maybe you should take your thoughts to the fashion board. I don't think they quite fit in with this conversation.
I'm saying to doesn't matter the age.
Men are going to look, leer and have their thoughts and opinions, it doesn't matter what your kid is wearing, men are men and you can't control them, as long as they control themselves and keep their thoughts to themselves why are you so hell bent on controlling what they think?
Meh.
I'm not not at all interested in controlling what others think. I don't think any parent on this forum is. That's your special rant.
But am I interested in making sure my 14/15 year old child doesn't look like trash when he/she walks out the door?
I wasn't talking about "us." I was responding to a post about an 11 year old girl. I could give a damn less how a man stares at grown woman, and not concerned with any male's private thoughts. We are talking about our children, not fashion, not how much guys are attracted to "us," not what guys think about "us." Our CHILDREN.
Maybe you should take your thoughts to the fashion board. I don't think they quite fit in with this conversation.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't want grown men looking at my baby or having thoughts about her.She's in fifth freaking grade. End of story.
Gimme it, I think you can make your dd aware of herself and her appearance without freaking her out or making her self conscious. But unless she's really busting out her pants or her butt crack or underwear are showing, I wouldn't worry about tight jeans. What I would do is bring it to her attention the way creeps stare at her.
I remember at around that age, 11, I was with my older sisters downtown and some creepy guy was saying something completely inappropriate to me. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I was young enough to not understand all of what he was saying. My sister, who was about 15, jumped all over the guy right there on the sidewalk. I remember her telling him, "Don't you EVER in your LIFE talk to my little sister like that again! She's only 11!" And I remember him looking completely ashamed of himself. I bet he never talked like that to another kid again! If I saw some guy staring down my little girl, I think I would do the same thing my sister did.
Bottom line, I do think all girls need to be aware of their bodies, their appearance, how much their showing, etc. It starts as tiny little things when we tell them how to sit with a dress on. Like it or not, clothing and appearance can draw the wrong kind of attention, and we don't want that.
Your story reminded me that when my daughter was 13, I took her and two of her friends to a little Greek restaurant down at the shore. I smoked at the time, so after dinner I got up and walked over to the little bar area to have a cigarette. Standing there, I noticed some guy sitting at the bar who appeared to be in his late thirties--early forties checking my daughter out. I just stared him down until he must have felt my eyes boring through him. He turned, looked at this six-foot-tall mama giving him the evil eye. He looked back toward the three kids sitting at the table, then back at me and I saw understanding dawn in his eyes, and he quickly turned on his barstool and buried his interest back into his beer.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don't want grown men looking at my baby or having thoughts about her.She's in fifth freaking grade. End of story.
People like that will anyway i think was the point being made in it's roundabout fashion. I do see your point not trying to draw more attention with certain outfits, but i also think we should consider whether the actions of a few should make us alter how things like what we wear or let our kids wear.
Last edited by ~HecateWhisperCat~; 05-03-2012 at 01:45 PM..
It's my guess that 11yos will be looked at less if they look 11 and not 15. I realize that there are creepy guys who like young kids, and that it doesn't matter what the kid wears, but there are guys who would be ashamed to check out an 11yo if they knew they were 11yo. Know what I mean.
People like that will anyway i think was the point being made in it's roundabout fashion. I do see your point not trying to draw more attention with certain outfits, but i also think we should consider whether the actions of a few should make us alter how things like what we wear or let our kids wear.
To a certain extent, yes we should. Of course, a true pedophile is going to stare and have innappropriate thoughts no matter how the child is dressed. But I wouldn't want my kid dressing in a fashion that screams, "Look at me! Look at my body parts!" I also wouldn't want some grown man mistaking my teenager for a grown woman because of the way she's dressed. A kid just doesn't need or know how to handle that kind of attention. So yes, in my consideration, the actions of few do affect what I would allow my kid to wear.
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