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he got pantsed in gym glass, you're seriously saying sew in belt loops to gym shorts and make him wear a belt?
No that won't get him picked on at all.
Better than his junk hanging out for all to see!
Face it...he's doomed either way...and he'll never be able to live this down for the rest of his school life. It will even make it's way into the yearbook when he's graduating, 5 years from now! Kids do not let this stuff go. Trust me...been there. He's been traumatized in a way that will emotionally scar him for life and the jokes/laughing will go on for years/eternity. He'll be showing up at his 25th reunion in his 40's, and it will be still be joked about...seriously.
The only way he could have overcome it...is if he had something special going on down there...like one that all other guys would be envious of...and girls would dream of. Short of him being the next John Holmes...he's doomed. Moving away to another school (also added trauma at his age) is the only solution.
Your willingness to laugh at things that are done to you does not justify this whatsoever.
I believe there should be options presented to the thug and his parents.
1. He writes a heartfelt apology which is reviewed and also reviewed and approved of by the victim and then he must give the apology in front of 100s, apologize for being a stupid jerk and how much he regrets his actions -- in front of the same 100s.
...and may I suggest...that he does that all with HIS pants down at his ankles, and exposed for all to see. Seriously...this would be the only way for the instigator to "feel" what it was like to be the victim in this situation that he caused.
I have been thinking about this thread, and while kids do stupid things, we do have double-standards with regards to some of their behaviors. I'm not sure if intent is the reason. If some strange man at the mall "pantsed" a young woman people would be outraged, but when teens do it, it's a harmless prank. I'm not sure which it is, but are we sending the right message when we sometimes blow it off and sometimes come down heavy for the same infractions?
You would get in trouble for tickling a perfect stranger too, but it's ok to do it to certain people you know. I do think intent and context should play a part.
Big difference between being a reluctant underwear model...and reluctant porn star.
Not necessarily. Some people would be absolutely devastated by having a bunch of strangers see them in their underwear, while others voluntarily offer themselves to be looked at in the buff. Not that I'd recommend either mentality, but the difference between is all up to the person and how they choose to appraise the situation.
So like I said, what you said earlier was a buncha BS. Events don't shape people all on their own; they're powerless without a particular interpretation of the event.
I have been thinking about this thread, and while kids do stupid things, we do have double-standards with regards to some of their behaviors. I'm not sure if intent is the reason. If some strange man at the mall "pantsed" a young woman people would be outraged, but when teens do it, it's a harmless prank. I'm not sure which it is, but are we sending the right message when we sometimes blow it off and sometimes come down heavy for the same infractions?
In my opinion the difference may not be the adult/teen but the boy/boy vs boy/girl. Perhaps that is where the distinction is. A very smart and dear man recommended a book to me called The Wonder of Boys. It is about how we are de-boying our boys in our society right now. By trying to make boys... I don't know, I can't remember his eloquent way of putting it... nicer, we are putting pressure on them to not be boys. Take aggressiveness for example. Instead of teaching boys how to USE their aggression correctly, as a powerful motivator to achieve, as a means to stay healthy, whatever, we try to get them NOT to be aggressive. But their hormones determine that they are. I am sure I am mucking this all up. Please know that this is me mucking it up and not the author of the book.
I have always hated the expression "boys will be boys" because it seems to often be misused to excuse horrid behavior. But sometimes boys will be boys. And we should, when we can, let them. That is not to say this kid should get a pat on the back. But nor do we have to call the sensitivity police (or the regular police). Let this boy, be a boy. Laugh it off with some kind of disgusting remark and move along.
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