HELP! 13 year old son had pants pulled down in front of 100's (out of control, support)
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The problem is that having been humiliated in front of so many others, he will most likely be taunted by some others (bullies themselves) who see him as a weak person. That's a part of the so-called "group mentality." And don't think they forget because they never will. I saw this happen to someone close when he was young.
By taking martial arts, those others will become hesitant to take a chance on dishing out their meanness on this young man. How will they know that he is involved in the martial arts? Word gets around fast. Bullies know who to pick on and who not to pick on. Best thing a parent can do for a child in this situation..... enroll them in a class.
This is as far as I read. I fail to see how avoiding other people is a "more natural way" to grow up. Everyone has to learn to interact with all kinds of different people. virtual schooling can be a good temporary option in some cases, but it only delays the inevitable.
We're doing virtual school next year. I don't really see it as a way of avoiding the inevitable, more as acknowlegement that I can't undo the things that have happened to my child at school, all I can do is keep anything else bad from happening to her. We take sexual harassment a lot more seriously when it happens between adults than between children, I can't imagine that my child being groped is inevitable when she's an adult.
So sorry this happened. I was so sad reading about this.
I have to agree with some of the opinions of not getting the parents/adults too involved and to maybe enroll in martial arts or another activity that builds confidence/defense skills.
I have a 13 y.o. who is much skinnier then the other boys, but no one ever messes with him (not even older, much bigger kids). The bigger football players follow him around and other kids come to him when they need help with a bully. I find it fascinating that my scrawny (scrappy) 13 y.o. seems to instill fear in much bigger bullies. I often wonder why this is.
He frequently tells me how he defends smaller kids from bullies in upper grades. He has taken on this roll of class defender. I think it is because he comes across as quite fearless, vocal, and maybe a bit wild and aggressive in his stance. I'm not advocating aggression in school but I do think Martial Arts (or other activities) can teach a children to present themselves in a way that discourages anyone from messing with them.
My son does not do Martial Arts, but he is a basketball player. I think the sport of basketball has taught him to be somewhat menacing in stance and physically assertive and has given him a lot of confidence. So maybe that is what has helped him.
He also has a "code" where he wants to protect the little guy, where he does not tattle on kids to teachers (though he tells me everything), and where he does not turn the other cheek. If someone dare touch him, I have little doubt he would immediately give it right back. I am not saying this is right, but his "code" is somehow happily getting him through middle school without being bullied. Middle school social dynamics is something I don't fully understand.
E.g. The first week of school as a 6th grader, a group of 8th graders pushed him into a locker and he immediately body slammed the boys back. The older kids didn't mess with him after that and even started calling him "Little Buddy" and giving him "high fives" in the hallways. They even go out of their way to tell others not to mess with him.
p.s. I virtual schooled by son 2 years ago.... I have a CD thread about it.
The school failed to protect him and then slapped his attacker on the wrist. They FAILED to send the message that this is intolerable.
Just to get a different perspective, I asked my husband about this last night. He said "2 days? That's a lot. Every school he goes to and every teacher he has until he graduates will see that." Most on this thread have thought it wasn't harsh enough, but that's just an opinion, and everyone's got one.
The school failed to protect him and then slapped his attacker on the wrist. They FAILED to send the message that this is intolerable.
What?! He got a two suspension. What do you THINK should have happened? Hang him by the toes?! Jeesh, people aren't happy anymore with the outcome unless cops and lawyers are involved. These are freaking kids! Why do parents ALWAYS have to get involved for EVERYTHING (some things are necessary) but there needs to be a time when kids work through their own issues with each other
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They FAILED to send the message that this is intolerable.
