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When you picked your neighborhood, you chose to send your kids to the same schools that your neighbor's send theirs to. In so doing you chose to have your children grow up in the same kind of environment theirs do.
Some of my neighbors chose the local public school, others chose private school, others chose to opt into the district to the north and others chose the district to the south. Some chose to homeschool, like me.
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You, obviously, have the same taste as your neighbors or the same income limitations since you chose houses/living arrangements in the same neighborhood.
Not really as there is a wide variety of styles of houses and the prices vary quite a bit, even on the same block. Two homes nearby recently sold. The homes were directly across the street from each other. One sold for $200,000 more then the other.
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You likely have similar lifestyles as well.
Don't know how you'd make that leap.
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Your house may cost a bit more or a bit less but something about where you live attracted you to the area...just as it did for your neighbors....and the ones who are there because they grew up there are even more rooted in that neighborhood. If they weren't they would have left. They chose to stay in spite of knowing the downfalls of living there.
There are many attractive things about my neighborhood so the reasons why people would choose to live here can vary greatly.
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That said, there is nothing wrong with belonging. We all want to belong. That's why we form neighborhoods, join churches and other groups. We have a need to fit in. To be around people who are like us.
I agree to a certain extent.
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Our neighbors being so much like us though masks that it is our children's peer group that has the final decision not us.
Like I said, just because this is true in your neighborhood does not mean it's true for all neighborhoods.
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If we've done well, we chose a peer group that mirrors the values we have. If we didn't (think gang influence for one...) we'll have a one hell of a time pulling our kids back and it will probably take uprooting them and moving them completely out of the area to do it.
Yeah and that's why I'm glad that we have choices when it comes to eduction. I don't have to choose the neighborhood public school.
I would agree with this but I also see disrespect among children of lesser means. I think there, they just don't care or perhaps it's anger because they don't have everything they think they should have...which would be demonstrating a sense of entitlement . I think you're on to something. Sometimes I'm amazed at what my dd's think they deserve. Just today dd#2 was whining about me not buying her an iphone cover for the iphone she's going to buy someday because I'm too cheap to get her one. (Don't tell her kids at my school don't even bother picking theirs up from the office when they get confiscated or lost because their parents will just buy them a new one.)
Homogeneous: Of the same kind; alike.
Some of my neighbors chose the local public school, others chose private school, others chose to opt into the district to the north and others chose the district to the south. Some chose to homeschool, like me. Not really as there is a wide variety of styles of houses and the prices vary quite a bit, even on the same block. Two homes nearby recently sold. The homes were directly across the street from each other. One sold for $200,000 more then the other. Don't know how you'd make that leap. There are many attractive things about my neighborhood so the reasons why people would choose to live here can vary greatly.
I agree to a certain extent. Like I said, just because this is true in your neighborhood does not mean it's true for all neighborhoods. Yeah and that's why I'm glad that we have choices when it comes to eduction. I don't have to choose the neighborhood public school.
There are many ways to define alike. Preferring the same neighborhood and schools for your kids is a way of being alike. Being able to afford/choosing the same type of houseing is a way of being alike. Choosing a private school for your kids is a way of being alike (like the other parents who chose private schools). We join groups and subscribe our kids to them all the time.
Yes there are expensive homes and cheap homes in each neighborhood but that doesn't negate the fact their owners chose THAT neighborhood. You have more in common with your neighbors than you know. Your kids have even more in common as once that peer group forms, that group becomes the strongest influence in their lives. Why do you think that demographics is such a strong predictor of outcomes for kids? We group together because we have something in common.
I make the leap to similar lifestyles for people living in the same neighborhoods because statistics would support that. We like to be around people who live like us, talk like us and act like us. We don't like standing out among our peers.
I would agree with this but I also see disrespect among children of lesser means. I think there, they just don't care or perhaps it's anger because they don't have everything they think they should have...which would be demonstrating a sense of entitlement . I think you're on to something. Sometimes I'm amazed at what my dd's think they deserve. Just today dd#2 was whining about me not buying her an iphone cover for the iphone she's going to buy someday because I'm too cheap to get her one. (Don't tell her kids at my school don't even bother picking theirs up from the office when they get confiscated or lost because their parents will just buy them a new one.)
So why are your daughters whining and (apparently) thinking they are entitled?
My sons were raised around some VERY wealthy people. We were not. They knew their friends would get things and have advantages we couldn't afford.
After whining just a couple of times (and having the economic facts of life explained to them at about the age of five) they wouldn't have thought of whining. They knew that was not going to fly. And they knew better than to tell me I was cheap. It's called respecting your parents. So maybe a lack of respect is a common denominator.
Last edited by DewDropInn; 07-03-2012 at 03:24 PM..
Reason: Re-write in post production.
There are many ways to define alike. Preferring the same neighborhood and schools for your kids is a way of being alike. Being able to afford/choosing the same type of houseing is a way of being alike. Choosing a private school for your kids is a way of being alike (like the other parents who chose private schools). We join groups and subscribe our kids to them all the time.
Yes there are expensive homes and cheap homes in each neighborhood but that doesn't negate the fact their owners chose THAT neighborhood. You have more in common with your neighbors than you know. Your kids have even more in common as once that peer group forms, that group becomes the strongest influence in their lives. Why do you think that demographics is such a strong predictor of outcomes for kids? We group together because we have something in common.
I make the leap to similar lifestyles for people living in the same neighborhoods because statistics would support that. We like to be around people who live like us, talk like us and act like us. We don't like standing out among our peers.
Whatever, this is so off topic. My children are homeschooled. They have a few neighborhood friends as well as friends from neighborhoods all over the metro area. Since my kids don't spend long periods of time in groups made up of children, our family along with a handful of close friends who they see regularly make up their peer group.
My 4yo son decided he doesn't need his food so he slapped my wife across the face. I slapped his but. Once. I told him why. Made him apologize. He never did it again. He knew hitting mom was bad but now he also knows how to control his temper and that his bad behavior will not be tolerated. I love my son too much to let him grow up to be inconsiderate and disrespectful.
I think it's mighty unusual for a four year old to slap his mother 'across the face'. I'm wondering where he learned that behavior.
Never mind the gazillions of studies and reports that spanking your child is NOT the most effective form of discipline.
IF your son knew how to control his temper; he wouldn't be slapping anyone in the face.
There are many ways to define alike. Preferring the same neighborhood and schools for your kids is a way of being alike. Being able to afford/choosing the same type of houseing is a way of being alike. Choosing a private school for your kids is a way of being alike (like the other parents who chose private schools). We join groups and subscribe our kids to them all the time.
Yes there are expensive homes and cheap homes in each neighborhood but that doesn't negate the fact their owners chose THAT neighborhood. You have more in common with your neighbors than you know. Your kids have even more in common as once that peer group forms, that group becomes the strongest influence in their lives. Why do you think that demographics is such a strong predictor of outcomes for kids? We group together because we have something in common.
I make the leap to similar lifestyles for people living in the same neighborhoods because statistics would support that. We like to be around people who live like us, talk like us and act like us. We don't like standing out among our peers.
Neighbors were not that alike in my neighborhood. Some families made way more money than other families (by way, I mean at least double). While most people were Christians in my neighborhood, a good number of denominations were represented. Beliefs on parenting didn't differ too much in as much as the parents were in charge. We kids didn't have all that much in common, either. Lots of different racial and (your favorite) socioeconomic backgrounds. Some were actual immigrants and some had family who lived in the area for a hundred years (long time for that area). Since my schools were not just kids from my immediate neighborhood, we had Muslims, Christians, Jews, and Buddhists at the school. People didn't talk alike as some spoke only English, some spoke Spanish, some spoke Vietnamese, some spoke Korean, etc. A number of kids spoke with accents. Not every neighborhood is like yours.
Neighbors were not that alike in my neighborhood. Some families made way more money than other families (by way, I mean at least double). While most people were Christians in my neighborhood, a good number of denominations were represented. Beliefs on parenting didn't differ too much in as much as the parents were in charge. We kids didn't have all that much in common, either. Lots of different racial and (your favorite) socioeconomic backgrounds. Some were actual immigrants and some had family who lived in the area for a hundred years (long time for that area). Since my schools were not just from my immediate neighborhood, we had Muslims, Christians, Jews, and Buddhists at the school. People didn't talk alike as some spoke only English, some spoke Spanish, some spoke Vietnamese, some spoke Korean, etc. A number of kids spoke with accents. Not every neighborhood is like yours.
Great job of explaining this, psr.
And this is the rule, rather than the exception, for much of Southern California.
I would agree with this but I also see disrespect among children of lesser means. I think there, they just don't care or perhaps it's anger because they don't have everything they think they should have...which would be demonstrating a sense of entitlement . I think you're on to something. Sometimes I'm amazed at what my dd's think they deserve. Just today dd#2 was whining about me not buying her an iphone cover for the iphone she's going to buy someday because I'm too cheap to get her one. (Don't tell her kids at my school don't even bother picking theirs up from the office when they get confiscated or lost because their parents will just buy them a new one.)
So why are your kids whining? Seems to me that is a parenting issue. My kids went to high school with many kids who had much more than they did. They didn't whine about it. They understood it as a basic fact of life. There will always be people with more. And less. Nothing to whine about. If they wanted more, they were free to get a job and buy it themselves.
Last edited by maciesmom; 07-03-2012 at 06:49 PM..
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. I think you're on to something. Sometimes I'm amazed at what my dd's think they deserve. Just today dd#2 was whining about me not buying her an iphone cover for the iphone she's going to buy someday because I'm too cheap to get her one. (Don't tell her kids at my school don't even bother picking theirs up from the office when they get confiscated or lost because their parents will just buy them a new one.)
