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My mum never went for the loud impact..or spanking...If she were taking care of a child- her grand child or another..She used one method of force..She would take the kid by the arm and let them know she was dominant and could break the damn thing right off...she called it the "firm grip approach".
I loved my kids to much to hit them...If I took them swimming and they refused to get out of the lake when it was time to go...I would run in their in a fury shoes and all and take them out...eventually they listened...always laughed at myself when they tested me and I lost it...sometimes when I was trying to be serious...I had to try hard not to smile...If someone swats their kid on the bum once...fine...it is a statement- but repeated strikes..done in a fury- bad.
He cared about you enough to hit you. That is heart-warming.
And you turned out to be such a well-adjusted person that you think its ok for an adult to beat a child. That does sound well-adjusted.
I'm outta here, off home to check up on the kids homework.
Disciplinary spanking has it's place as training. Vicious beatings are another matter. My advice for all the controlling, self righteous people who see fit to dictate how others should handle their kids is to adopt and raise them for the inept parents, if you think all kids are alike and can just be lectured with time outs. Everyone is different with their own temperment and sensitivities. And kids also fall into that catagory.
And for the 7 or 8 people left who havent written the bible off as stunted fairy tales written by a looney 'skydaddy', the scriptures do counsel at Proverbs 22:6, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." And also at Chapter 13: 24 it says, "Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them." Spanking done without malice, is necessary for some, not all children. And it is certainly not the opposite of love, but actually a manifestation of caring for a childs future social welfare, when sometimes "dont do that" isnt getting though. Sometimes, even some grown ups need to suffer negative consequences when defiance of local law is evident. Otherwise there would not exist law enforcement.
Parents coddle their kids too much nowadays. The world is rough out there and physical pain is part of being human.
Used at the correct times and within reasonable amounts it's a valid form of punishment.
Absolutely! Kids today are getting medals just for showing up at the game and being told how unique and wonderful they are. We got recognition when we earned it and it prepared us for the real world. These kids today will eventually leave the nest completely unprepared, the first time their boss chews them out for making a mistake they'll wind up in therapy.
My main point is, the usually the people who are always reporting these petty things, are people who are against spanking.
Which ISNT right. Im against a lot of things, doesnt mean I should try to send everyone and their mama to jail over it. Thats my only thing. Lets not act like NYC foster care is all peaches n cream.
I also agree, and told her she should have waited till she got home. I also remember my son caught a tantrum in the mall a year ago, over some candy. Took him behind the clearance rack and *pop**pop**bam*. He was on his best behavior the rest of the day. Sometimes its needed.
My main point is, the usually the people who are always reporting these petty things, are people who are against spanking.
Which ISNT right. Im against a lot of things, doesnt mean I should try to send everyone and their mama to jail over it. Thats my only thing. Lets not act like NYC foster care is all peaches n cream.
I also agree, and told her she should have waited till she got home. I also remember my son caught a tantrum in the mall a year ago, over some candy. Took him behind the clearance rack and *pop**pop**bam*. He was on his best behavior the rest of the day. Sometimes its needed.
I have to spread more rep around before I can rep you again!
You're a good parent and you're raising them right! Those nanny by the book (said) moms that are too afraid to actually raise their kids right with whatever discipline is necessary are ruining their kids. What I really hate are the nanny moms that turn people in for just a few pats on the butt. I can see it if there were real physical abuse going on but come on. These I know it all nannies enrage me, they need a spanking as well!!!
The number one factor in a person becoming a violent adult is experiencing violence at the hands of his/her parents as a child.
As for the OP's story, we really cannot tell because none of us saw what happened. There is such a thing as appropriate spanking, but we don't know if that was the case.
There's a difference between child abuse and a spanking though. Spanking done 'right' isn't violent in the sense of danger.
I do agree with you with certain times being appropriate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jdm267
Anon, you are wrong. You are assuming that the parents of these kids are mature and intelligent adults, which often times they are not. If the child is being rude and disrespectful, it is a reflection of the parents ability or lack thereof to raise a well rounded citizen able to contribute to society.
Really? No one can determine how someone will turn out EVER. That's why we're all individuals. Sometimes a parent can give all they have for their children yet that's still not enough. Furthermore there's a thing called peer pressure and with age we all want to do 'what we want' or what we think (thought) is best. No matter how many degrees or how successful someone is, intellect has nothing to do with raising a child.
Quote:
Originally Posted by likeminas
First off, my children will not burst into uncontrollable tantrums, that's something I will address and teach them from a very early age.
Now, you can put all the blame you want on the school system, peers, etc... And I agree that to a certain extent they influence the upbringing of a child, but themost crucial and defining influence is at home.
In any case, there are better and more efficient ways to discipline your child besides hitting him, you know.
LOL. You're funny. YOU CAN NOT foresee how your child will be, what gives you this notion? Your child will in fact burst into several tantrums and in that moment you will determine what is best for your child. Sure it might not be a pop on the hand or a spanking but you CAN NOT be serious and act as if your child is the second coming of Jesus.
After you take away the TV, and ground them for a week (or whatever timeframe), take away their cellphones and all other items, what's next? Send them off to boarding school because it's getting too rough? That's what some think is 'right' but If my mom did that to me I would've felt abandoned. Think about someone else's situation before you assume you can raise a child.
Lastly, I've had my fair share of spankings and I'm GLAD my Mom cared enough to do it (she was a single parent). In total I can recall less then 4 times actually (albeit never in public), mainly from talking back to teachers (I always felt as if I was right, and still do ) Fast forward to now and my Mom is my best friend she always tried to give my siblings and I everything and that overshadowed every spanking she gave. She worked early mornings and stayed in school late nights. On the weekends we ALWAYS had an activity, museums, shopping, library etc and those are the moments that define parenting, the little things.
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Sometimes its needed.
) Fast forward to now and my Mom is my best friend she always tried to give my siblings and I everything and that overshadowed every spanking she gave. She worked early mornings and stayed in school late nights. On the weekends we ALWAYS had an activity, museums, shopping, library etc and those are the moments that define parenting, the little things.
