Just because you dont spank your kids...................... (custody, teenage, infant)
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Age 2.5, leaves the house without telling Mama. Crosses the street. Plays in nieghbors yard. Meanwhile, Mama is searching the house, going crazy. "Where is Kevin?"...Mama goes outside, frantic. And...there is Kevin...across the street! Yes. Kevin got a spanking. He never left the house again without asking Mama.
Was that situation, "child abuse"? This could have been very dangerous. It is not the same as something that merits time out...like taking a toy away from his baby brother. Which, Kevin continued to do...despite numerous time outs.
Judicious use of corporal punishment is the key. A spanking for everything, loses its "power".
Age 2.5, leaves the house without telling Mama. Crosses the street. Plays in nieghbors yard. Meanwhile, Mama is searching the house, going crazy. "Where is Kevin?"...Mama goes outside, frantic. And...there is Kevin...across the street! Yes. Kevin got a spanking. He never left the house again without asking Mama.
Was that situation, "child abuse"? This could have been very dangerous. It is not the same as something that merits time out...like taking a toy away from his baby brother. Which, Kevin continued to do...despite numerous time outs.
Judicious use of corporal punishment is the key. A spanking for everything, loses its "power".
I feel the parent and child are at fault here. She should have payed more attention to her child.
Age 2.5, leaves the house without telling Mama. Crosses the street. Plays in nieghbors yard. Meanwhile, Mama is searching the house, going crazy. "Where is Kevin?"...Mama goes outside, frantic. And...there is Kevin...across the street! Yes. Kevin got a spanking. He never left the house again without asking Mama.
Was that situation, "child abuse"? This could have been very dangerous. It is not the same as something that merits time out...like taking a toy away from his baby brother. Which, Kevin continued to do...despite numerous time outs.
Judicious use of corporal punishment is the key. A spanking for everything, loses its "power".
I get that you were scared and your adrenaline was pumping, but hands are not for hitting. You got to get your fear and anger out, but it's not a cure for the problem. He was probably freaked out by your freaked out-ness more than the beating.
You've just discovered two things about him - he can open exterior doors, and he has not got enough separation anxiety to not bolt. You would put child locks on all doors, and alarms (they're about $10 apiece and you get them from Lowes or Home Depot). You're also going to have to be super vigilant in stores and at playgrounds. But you're not going to stop him from wandering off in a store by beating him silly when he left the house once.
This study found that 18 percent fewer children were slapped or spanked by caregivers in 2002 compared to 1975. However, even after this decline, most preschool-aged children are spanked (79 percent), and nearly half of children ages eight and nine in the 2002 survey were hit with an object such as a paddle or switch
First off, my children will not burst into uncontrollable tantrums, that's something I will address and teach them from a very early age.
Now, you can put all the blame you want on the school system, peers, etc... And I agree that to a certain extent they influence the upbringing of a child, but themost crucial and defining influence is at home.
A child's early behavior is 70% the parent's responsability and 30% other factors, IMO.
If you have to get physical at any level, you have a child raising a child....
And if the child’s behavior seems uncontrollable without it, you lost the battle from the beginning... not enough patience and communication.
In any case, there are better and more efficient ways to discipline your child besides hitting him, you know.
Are you 100% positive your children didn't burst into uncontrollable tantrums? Did you stay home and witness this or did they go to a daycare/preschool where you didn't see them for a big chunk of the day? Because I work in a preschool and there are 10 two year Olds in our class and all but one of them throw some really good tantrums. One of those kids has random screaming fits that can last for about an hour and two of the little girls are pretty violent. They will push, kick, bite throw chairs., tump over tables, and throw things. They usually require some sort of restraint and removal from class until they calm down. Trying to gently reason with them while they are tearing up the class and scaring the other kids doesn't really work because they are in no mood to listen.
I was spanked as a child but only when I really deserved it. I was never beaten to oblivion or abused in any way. My parents always sent me to my room while they calmed down and then they came to my room and told me what I was doing wrong . Then I got a spanking. As I got older the spankings decreased. I turned out just fine.
I have a five year old daughter and she gets spankings when she deserves them. I try never to give them in public. This is not the only discipline my husband and I use. Spankings are a last resort for us but they are sometimes needed.
If you choose not to spank your kids that is fine. Every child is different so your form of discipline may not work with my child.
I love my daughter very much and I want her to grow up to respect her elders and others around her.
This! This is how my parents disciplined us and it's how I raise mine. My mom told me to always give myself a five minute time out and then decide the punishment.....don't just get angry and react. She said to let them know you mean business, but don't make them so afraid of you that they are afraid to sleep at night. Best advice ever. I was spanked when I was younger and they tapered off by middle school, then it was groundings and boy was my mom tough with those!
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