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I'd probably tell her, "Hey, your kids have been calling me when you're gone and don't know how to reach you. I don't know what to tell them when you are away and I'm not the babysitter. Maybe you should make other arrangements?"
Damn straight! Why is everyone afraid to say this to their "friends", especially since you're all "so close"? Geez, step up and hit your friends with the reality stick. What have you all got to lose?
Damn straight! Why is everyone afraid to say this to their "friends", especially since you're all "so close"? Geez, step up and hit your friends with the reality stick. What have you all got to lose?
Kudos to you, MaseMan!
Because it isn't our business how our friends choose to proceed with their lives, even if we don't agree with some of the stuff they do. If anybody should say anything in the case of the OP, it is the grandparents, and they apparently haven't.
I'm not sure why a parent has to be available 24/7 anyway, when other adult supervision is in place. My mother traveled often with my father, and my grandmother stayed with the 8 of us (7 kids and one cousin who moved in for a while). This was long before cell phones, and we were lucky if my parents called home once a week to make sure grandma and the kids were alive.
Because it isn't our business how our friends choose to proceed with their lives, even if we don't agree with some of the stuff they do. If anybody should say anything in the case of the OP, it is the grandparents, and they apparently haven't.
I'm not sure why a parent has to be available 24/7 anyway, when other adult supervision is in place. My mother traveled often with my father, and my grandmother stayed with the 8 of us (7 kids and one cousin who moved in for a while). This was long before cell phones, and we were lucky if my parents called home once a week to make sure grandma and the kids were alive.
You've completely missed the point of the thread. Surprised at you.
No one is saying to tell your friends how to "proceed with their lives." How did you get to that place? Giving your friend a heads up that they're wandering into a less than stellar place in their kids' minds is doing them a favor. What's so hard to understand about that? I didn't say anything about telling your friends what to do. Again... how did you get to that place? Go back and read it again.
And another thing... who said anything about being parented 24/7? She drops out of sight for several days at a time and no one could find her. Come the day that something happens to one of the kids, and mom is needed for consent for anything, it may prove to be too late, even if the grandparents are there. It sounds like they can't reach her either.
And what does your parents leaving you with your gp's have to do with this? Your gp's obviously knew where your parents were and how to contact them in the event of an emergency. Apples and oranges. Try again.
Since she is a long time friend, it seems as if you should be comfortable voicing your concerns to her. Personally, I don't think it's wrong for her to simply "disappear", without any explanation, for her "overnight' dates. Seems to me like she should make sure her parents can reach her and that her children understand that grandma & grandpa are in charge. Any questions they have for her, are to be directed to their grandparent....period.
Hopefully, her parents are able to reach her while she is away on her "dates". I shudder to think that she would be irresponsible enough to NOT make sure they can contact her!
Apparently nobody can contact her since her cell goes straight to VM...
I would mention to her in passing that her kid called you looking for her. That way she's aware their kids are looking for her. I understand it's a difficult position to be in, but she's been very irresposible and setting a very bad example for her kids. Spend the night if you want, but be home by the morning.
The difference between this and the traveling parents is that in that case the kids knew the parents were traveling and grandma is in charge. In the friend case apparently the kids are not aware where is mom and are concerned about her. Two completely different situations. If she had told the kids she was going to go out and when would she return, they wouldn't have been calling people trying to find her.
So basically, for all anyone knows, she could be dead....for a couple of days, right? That's kind of taking "Me time" to a whole new level (of disrespect for your family). Personally, if I was her parents, I'd be laying down a couple of laws myself. Rule number 1) If your phone goes to VM, you better be returning that call within 15 min....or else! Rule number 2) Know that your kids are going to know where you are. You don't have to like it, but it would probably be best if YOU were the one to tell them.
So basically, for all anyone knows, she could be dead....for a couple of days, right? That's kind of taking "Me time" to a whole new level (of disrespect for your family). Personally, if I was her parents, I'd be laying down a couple of laws myself. Rule number 1) If your phone goes to VM, you better be returning that call within 15 min....or else! Rule number 2) Know that your kids are going to know where you are. You don't have to like it, but it would probably be best if YOU were the one to tell them.
She left her kids with her parents for slightly more than 24 hours, three times in six weeks. According to the OP she leaves Sat afternoon and returns Sunday night. Lots of people do this. My MIL or father have watched my kids for longer periods than overnight.
I think you might be over reacting a little bit. The kids were left with their grandparents. She should probably tell the kids she is going away instead of just doing it, but other than that she's not exactly leaving them abandoned for days on end.
Yes, I am overreacting...LOL...but it does infuriate me that the woman doesn't have the decency to let her children know what's going on. Let's face it, you can bet she'd expect the same courtesy from them, yes? Setting this type of example can only backfire. Oh well....:-)
She left her kids with her parents for slightly more than 24 hours, three times in six weeks. According to the OP she leaves Sat afternoon and returns Sunday night. Lots of people do this. My MIL or father have watched my kids for longer periods than overnight.
I think you might be over reacting a little bit. The kids were left with their grandparents. She should probably tell the kids she is going away instead of just doing it, but other than that she's not exactly leaving them abandoned for days on end.
Most parents would pick up the cell phone or at least return phone calls. I mean, there's a likely confused five year old involved, as well, who might need some comfort from his/her mother. Just because you are out without the kids mean you stop being a parent.
You've completely missed the point of the thread. Surprised at you.
No one is saying to tell your friends how to "proceed with their lives." How did you get to that place? Giving your friend a heads up that they're wandering into a less than stellar place in their kids' minds is doing them a favor. What's so hard to understand about that? I didn't say anything about telling your friends what to do. Again... how did you get to that place? Go back and read it again.
And another thing... who said anything about being parented 24/7? She drops out of sight for several days at a time and no one could find her. Come the day that something happens to one of the kids, and mom is needed for consent for anything, it may prove to be too late, even if the grandparents are there. It sounds like they can't reach her either.
And what does your parents leaving you with your gp's have to do with this? Your gp's obviously knew where your parents were and how to contact them in the event of an emergency. Apples and oranges. Try again.
Maybe you should reread it again.
"she leaves them Saturday afternoon and doesnt return until late Sunday night "
That's one overnight, NOT "several days at a time".
And they are with responsible adults.
I have let my daughter with her grandmother for 4 weeks once and been out of communication for almost that entire time. It wasn't irresponsible either.
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