I don't know how I should feel about this (baby, health, gift) - Parenting -Children, problems, school, daycare, behavior, age, teenagers, infants - Page 24 - City-Data Forum

irishfan77 · 05-21-2013, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life

Because she rules the roost.

She has trained you and your son, through negative reinforcement

How has she trained my son? I'm not trying to sound hostile, I'm just curious

Inkpoe · 05-21-2013, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irishfan77

How has she trained my son? I'm not trying to sound hostile, I'm just curious

She did that in front of you by grounding him. She would never allow you to punish or ground him. He knows she's the final word here.

BirdieBelle · 05-21-2013, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irishfan77

How has she trained my son? I'm not trying to sound hostile, I'm just curious

She has trained him to completely withdraw from her, based on what you have written.

Whatever it is she does, he does NOT like it and avoids her, it sounds like. He is not honest with her and basically "checks out" at home. AVOIDANCE.

irishfan77 · 05-21-2013, 09:57 PM

I don't think she trained him to withdraw, I think he does that on his own

BirdieBelle · 05-21-2013, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irishfan77

I don't think she trained him to withdraw, I think he does that on his own

It's a RE-action to her action.

That's part of your problem. You don't see it.

irishfan77 · 05-21-2013, 10:04 PM

That's a tough spot for me because I feel like his reactions are justified but I feel bad that she is withdrawn and isn't being given honesty from him

BirdieBelle · 05-21-2013, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irishfan77

That's a tough spot for me because I feel like his reactions are justified but I feel bad that she is withdrawn and isn't being given honesty from him

Yes, it is VERY tough. It's a really, really dysfunctional set-up, and not fulfilling for any of you.

Keep a goal in mind, and definitely keep up with the therapy.

irishfan77 · 05-21-2013, 10:08 PM

do i dare ask her to go to therapy so she can see for herself that we don't talk about her?

Inkpoe · 05-21-2013, 10:21 PM

No, You ask in sincerity of wanting to work things out. The problem will be that when she does show up, you guys will talk about her anyways because... she's there.

germaine2626 · 05-21-2013, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irishfan77

why not reciprocate the respect and love I give her?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kibbiekat

I don't know if it comes across as respect and love. For us on the outside, it comes across as kissing up, groveling, and buying her affection with material items.

Sorry, Irishfan, but I have to agree with Kibbiekat.