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Yeah. I seriously doubt she would have interrupted her climb up the corporate ladder to spend more time at the beach for me.
For raising her own children - yes.
My point is that not even all childless couples can fly off like free birds.
I have two friends who are absolutely chained to their business. Leaving town takes an act of god and coordination of efforts that is out of this world.
My other friend has a sick, elderly mother that limits her movement.
That's the way it is with me, I'm chained to my stupid job. I can't get them to approve the time-off I have, let alone have more time.
I assure you, as an almost 40 year old childless-by-choice woman, I am SO sick of hearing "you'll change your mind". If anything, my desire gets less and less every year. And, any woman who changes their mind has options to have children regardless of age (adoption, fostering, etc). So, don't assume they will change their mind, like you did; but if they do, they can still have children.
Speaking of selfish, I do feel that that those people who insist on having "one of my own" and would not consider adoption are the truly selfish ones.
I'm 40 now. I knew by age 5 I never wanted kids. I have never ever felt like changing my mind. I'm SO GLAD I didn't get sucked into that trap. I look at the lives of people with kids and thank my lucky stars I didn't end up like that.
I'm 40 now. I knew by age 5 I never wanted kids. I have never ever felt like changing my mind. I'm SO GLAD I didn't get sucked into that trap. I look at the lives of people with kids and thank my lucky stars I didn't end up like that.
Different people have different personality types.
Some people select their friends based upon social status, fashion and wealth while others select their friends based upon kindness, sense of humor and similar hobbies.
Some people feel more satisfaction from buying a new luxury automobile than having a child run to you for a hug and a kiss.
For the cost of my two kids, I could drive a really, really nice car or keep a very nice boat. I'll take the kids any day of the week.
I assure you, as an almost 40 year old childless-by-choice woman, I am SO sick of hearing "you'll change your mind". If anything, my desire gets less and less every year. And, any woman who changes their mind has options to have children regardless of age (adoption, fostering, etc). So, don't assume they will change their mind, like you did; but if they do, they can still have children.
Speaking of selfish, I do feel that that those people who insist on having "one of my own" and would not consider adoption are the truly selfish ones.
I would never say someone will change their mind. I also hated hearing that. It's so arrogant and rude. I wouldn't even think it. Some people WILL change their minds, and others won't. That's all I'm saying. I do think it's rude to say that to someone, especially since you don't know why someone doesn't want children or if they will even be able to have them if they do want them. But I can think whatever I want in my own mind.
As for still having children, I'm afraid that's a dangerous myth. Or at least, it's an oversimplification. When I finally changed my mind it was a little late, and I tried various fertility methods and looked into adoption and so on. Adoption is not the least bit unselfish - it's incredibly expensive and often involves semi-shady dealings in foreign lands, where you are basically bribing everyone to do it. It is much, much harder than just having your own, and many people simply don't have the means to do it. There are also age limits, income limits, race issues, and so on. Many adoptive children have disabilities, and one has to have the means to address them - I have two friends with adoptive children who have both needed repeated, extensive surgical procedures throughout their childhoods. People adopt children because they desperately want to be parents, not because they feel charitable. Just as people have babies because they want them, and not because they are feeling unselfish.
I didn't say I was the standard and everyone would change their mind. I said it is POSSIBLE. One can't say for sure at 30. No one can.
I knew before puberty that I had no interest in being a mommy. That knowledge never changed, I never felt tested. I'm 53, had my tubes tied in my 30's just to make sure that (me + "mommy") = nul.
One can absolutely positively say for sure at 30. Many women do say for sure at 30.
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