The post I never wanted to make but knew I would (city, working)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
We'll keep looking at housing. I'm hoping one of the two properties on dbf's parent's street will pan out. It's a cheap area to live and they might be able to rent a house for $700/month. The area has lousy schools (not that the schools here are that much better) but they have time to improve their living situation before the baby starts school.
I am curious where in metro detroit you can find house rentals in a safe neighborhood for $700. Please don't encourage her to rent a house and compromise on safety. If they can afford $700 there are SEVERAL 1 bedroom apartments in safe areas for that price and even less.
But, it's possible that I'm just out of touch since I no longer live there. I just don't recall ever seeing rentals for a house go that cheaply.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
Right now she's working one job which is a major improvement over no job. He's working two jobs. The only thing she qualifies for right now is WIC. When the baby is born she'll qualify for food stamps, medical insurance for her and the baby (she has to be on the same plan as the baby) and housing assistance.
I know there are programs out there but I also know how hard it is to be working full time with a baby. It will be several years before she's in position to go back to school. I hope she does as that will immensely improve her future. I don't see it happening any time soon though.
I'm trying to get her to take a couple of classes in the fall just to have a couple more out of the way.
I had a friend in MI who went back to college a year or so after her baby was born and it's been slow going but she's still in school as far as I know (although she dropped me after I moved, so I guess I don't know for sure). I know other people who had babies young and went to college not too long afterwards, and I had college classmates who were pregnant and only took a semester or two off. The key was they had support available. My former friend lived with her mom and her mom was a big help towards allowing her to go back to school (providing childcare and such). They both equally contributed to the household and it seemed to be the best possible arrangement for them. I don't see why that isn't possible for your daughter assuming the support is there and she's motivated enough to make it work.
Somethings which I could come up are below; though its not much of a help but i think your daughter will still benefit from the below.
Ivory, Some of the things I registered for when I was pregnant (2011) are the below. Ask your DD to register too and she will get some basic supplies for free:
2. When you get a chance, you can also ask her to go to the nearest Babies r Us. When you go personally and open a gift registry there, you get a big bag of baby supplies which include diaper rash cream, a few diapers, coupons, feeding bottles etc. But mind you, this doenst happen online, she has to go personally to open the registry at a store.
3. Register in Similac website. My baby was on Enfamil but similac was sending so many coupons (like $15 a month) to be used against formula.
That’s all I can think of for now but remember these are for Canada but my girlfriend in States said she also got all the above when she registered in States.
Another thing is, here we have a website for our city where all the moms get together…something like city data. Usually moms give away things they no longer need for free to other moms in the area. I found one such place in Detriot: Metro-Detroit Mommies! - The Bump
See if this is helpful
That's pretty much what dss does. He sends a lot of money home to his wife and visits the kids 12-18 times a year. Not a life I'd recommend for anyone. The stress shows on ddil and the kids don't know their father. Though things are better with technology as he can Skype with the kids daily so he's not such a stranger now that they're older.
We'll keep looking at housing. I'm hoping one of the two properties on dbf's parent's street will pan out. It's a cheap area to live and they might be able to rent a house for $700/month. The area has lousy schools (not that the schools here are that much better) but they have time to improve their living situation before the baby starts school. Not that I wish she'd die, but my MIL is 93 and dh will inherit a nice sum of money when she passes so we could be in position to help them get into a home of their own in a better area before the baby starts school. Right now our finances are too tight to help. We bleed red to the tune of about $1000/month even with SS for dd#2. When she turns 18 that goes to $2000/month. Dh's IRA will not last long as things are. (Don't get me started on what a stupid idea full retirement was for him. Dd#1 comes by her sense of entitlement naturally. She gets it from her dad.)
It really is unfortunate that them living here isn't a solution. I could actually use the financial help of having a boarder but that is a bad idea all the way around and anyone who has followed dd's history knows that.
$700/month sounds perfect for them. I hope that works out. Is the boyfriend considering going to work with your step son? I am guessing he works in drilling? I know that being away from home is not ideal but if he could do it just for 6 months or a even a year they could save up quite a bit of money. Again, I realize that you have no say in what he decides to do but if he's considering it then maybe some encouragement to do it for the short term wouldn't be such a bad idea.
I'm personally a bit skeptical of the whole "I'm sleeping in a car!" thing. I'm not doubting that it may have happened a time or two, but even if the father's parents are opposed to allowing them to share a bedroom, surely the father can and SHOULD come up with a better alternative for the mother of his child...if indeed she really is pregnant.
Ivory you've made a big deal about being anti-abortion.
Now you better step up and prove you're pro-life. Otherwise you're all talk. A pregnant woman should NOT be sleeping in a car. YOU have a place for her. It's the same bed she slept in before you tossed her out to live in a car.
You think she should be sleeping in a car while she goes through a pregnancy? Really? YOU have the ability to put her in a safe bed at night. Do the right thing.
SMDH. She's pregnant. She should not have been in a car one single night when YOU are able to put her in a bed in your home.
Exactly, but the OP is a strange bird to begin with. This is the same poster who got offended that Target had a TV ad featuring Latino music and no longer shops there.
I also find it ironic that someone who is so right wing in their views is looking for handouts for a situation like this, her FIRST solution is to let the govt. bail her daughter out. Typical of so many on both the extreme right and left, the rules they think should apply to others don't apply to them.
The OP would be livid to have to pay for others in this situation, but since it is her family, let the govt. pay the freight.
Why does the "boyfriend" have to live there as well? Answer, he doesn't.
Now is not the time to teach your daughter a lesson, she is having a baby and shouldn't be sleeping in a car. As the saying goes "small children, small problems, big children, big problems".
Step up to the plate like the good Conservative that you are, and don't expect the taxpayer to foot the bill for everything, for a situation that a trip to the drugstore could have prevented.
I'm thinking the same but maybe instead of regular college courses she could pursue something like a vet tech degree which would be a quicker and more realistic path to her goal of working in a vet office with animals. I think it's an associate's degree.
I'm personally a bit skeptical of the whole "I'm sleeping in a car!" thing. I'm not doubting that it may have happened a time or two, but even if the father's parents are opposed to allowing them to share a bedroom, surely the father can and SHOULD come up with a better alternative for the mother of his child...if indeed she really is pregnant.
So much of this seems intended to guilt us into letting her come back home that I wonder too. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure she is pregnant. Since she's on my insurance, I get the coverage statements sent to me and she has had one OB appointment.
She has an ultrasound scheduled next week. I'd go with her but I'm in training all next week. Maybe I can con dh into going. We'll certainly know for sure by then.
$700/month sounds perfect for them. I hope that works out. Is the boyfriend considering going to work with your step son? I am guessing he works in drilling? I know that being away from home is not ideal but if he could do it just for 6 months or a even a year they could save up quite a bit of money. Again, I realize that you have no say in what he decides to do but if he's considering it then maybe some encouragement to do it for the short term wouldn't be such a bad idea.
No he works in construction installing caissons. He and his crew travel all over the country.
At this time, dbf is not considering going to work for dss. He doesn't want a job that takes him away from dd. He actually turned down a job as an air Marshall not too long ago because he didn't want to be traveling all the time. The pay was pretty good for someone with no education. Then again, sometimes the stories seem fishy so who knows what's real. He's on his 4th job since I've known him.
Somethings which I could come up are below; though its not much of a help but i think your daughter will still benefit from the below.
Ivory, Some of the things I registered for when I was pregnant (2011) are the below. Ask your DD to register too and she will get some basic supplies for free:
2. When you get a chance, you can also ask her to go to the nearest Babies r Us. When you go personally and open a gift registry there, you get a big bag of baby supplies which include diaper rash cream, a few diapers, coupons, feeding bottles etc. But mind you, this doenst happen online, she has to go personally to open the registry at a store.
3. Register in Similac website. My baby was on Enfamil but similac was sending so many coupons (like $15 a month) to be used against formula.
That’s all I can think of for now but remember these are for Canada but my girlfriend in States said she also got all the above when she registered in States.
Another thing is, here we have a website for our city where all the moms get together…something like city data. Usually moms give away things they no longer need for free to other moms in the area. I found one such place in Detriot: Metro-Detroit Mommies! - The Bump
See if this is helpful
Thanks for the information. I'll check it out.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Typical of so many on both the extreme right and left, the rules they think should apply to others don't apply to them.
