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Ok so the child's power play regarding food trumps all....gotcha
What chils power play? Denying food is a parents power play over the child that doesn't teach anything. Why is that so hard for some to get? Are patents really that scared of their own kids that denying badic needs is all they've got to teach proper behavior?
I am sure a parent that denys food feels all big and powerful....but it doesn't teach the child a darn thing about what they did wrong.
Depends on why the child isn't getting a meal. If a child gets excused from the table because he's announced the food is gross and he doesn't want to eat it he learns that he's not a special little butterfly who has Mom saying, "I'm so sorry. Sit there and I'll make you a hot dog. Do you want Fritos with it?"
Besides, everyone knows hunger makes the meatloaf look better.
Depends on why the child isn't getting a meal. If a child gets excused from the table because he's announced the food is gross and he doesn't want to eat it he learns that he's not a special little butterfly who has Mom saying, "I'm so sorry. Sit there and I'll make you a hot dog. Do you want Fritos with it?"
Besides, everyone knows hunger makes the meatloaf look better.
I don't allow disrespectful talk like that at the table, but nor do I force my child to eat something he doesn't want to eat, even if it's otherwise been his absolute favorite meal to date.
I do expect that we all sit at the table for the duration of dinner, though don't expect dinner to continue for an unreasonable period of time.
What I do do, that some may or may disagree with, is:
a) My son is expected to try a bite of everything on his plate, even if it's something he's abjectly despised in the past, and he does, because he's learned that over time, he's come to actually like some foods he couldn't stomach before.
b) Regardless of what my son did, or did not eat, or how much he actually ate at the table, I have always, without any stipulations allowed him to have fruit, or yogurt (plain, greek), a slice of bread with butter, or a cheese stick after dinner (requires no prep or effort from me). He rarely ever chooses to have one of these in lieu of his dinner, though often has one or two of them after he's eaten everything off his plate. Having no pressure to eat or go hungry at the dinner table has meant that he often ends up just eating a good portion of the food on his plate anyway, and is willing to at the very least try new foods he's unsure of.
He's also, of his own choice, chosen not to eat, or eat less than I think is normal for him, and gone off to bed. Usually, it's because he's on the verge of coming down ill but we're not yet aware of any symptoms, but sometimes, he's just in a living off air phase, but his not eating has been entirely his free choice and decision to make.
What chils power play? Denying food is a parents power play over the child that doesn't teach anything. Why is that so hard for some to get? Are patents really that scared of their own kids that denying badic needs is all they've got to teach proper behavior?
The child that throws a tantrum and refuses to eat is what I was referring to. That is plain and simple a power play by the child.
Some might consider a child that mouths off to a parent is also attempting a power play, though not directed at eating the food, just assisting and preparing the food.
Therefore, based on yours and many other posts a child's power play regarding food means the child trumps parent.
The child that throws a tantrum and refuses to eat is what I was referring to. That is plain and simple a power play by the child.
Some might consider a child that mouths off to a parent is also attempting a power play, though not directed at eating the food, just assisting and preparing the food.
Therefore, based on yours and many other posts a child's power play regarding food means the child trumps parent.
We've also been talking about pre-teens and teenagers...not toddlers. Denial of food is strictly a parent wanting power over their child...not discipline. A child choosing not to eat something is very different.
No one is "denying a child his basic needs" by sending them to bed without dinner for misbehavior. The child ate breakfast, lunch, snacks, and probably a fruit drink or two during the day, so lack of dinner is hardly denying them basic needs. If a "power play" by a parent is wrong, then just shoot me because I am the parent and if someone in the family has the power, well in my house you can be dang sure it's the parent. I always believe that the punishment must fit the crime, so table issues of defiance or dirty talk at the table gets you excused from said table. If misbehavior involves another issue, than the punishment is directly related to that issue and no other (i.e. issues with computer behavior would result in loss of computer, etc). This is how I was raised and I firmly believe that it works and is fair to everyone involved. Lack of discipline is what is causing so many kids today to be unable to function at adult level when they achieve adulthood. Each and every child in my family of origin (all 6 of us) worked and supported themselves within 1 year of attaining 18 years of age and all have been contiuously employed, never accepted government aid, and have never been arrested for ANYTHING, EVER.
In reply to the OP, yes, I have sent my daughter to her room without supper. However, after the wife and I finish eating and have cleaned up, we'll leave a serving of food on the table and allow her to come and eat by herself. Just a simple, "We don't like your attitude and you are not a very pleasant person to be around when you are like that. When we finish eating, then you can come out and have your dinner." Only had to do it once. She learned what type of behavior was unacceptable.
We've also been talking about pre-teens and teenagers...not toddlers. Denial of food is strictly a parent wanting power over their child...not discipline. A child choosing not to eat something is very different.
And this was a preteen who started a power play over assisting with dinner prep by mouthing off..therefore also a power play. Food was a secondary effect of the power play.
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