How hard is it on an 11 year old for their Dad to move away? (2 year old, husband)
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Yes, I have four kids. They were 18 through 24 when my husband and I got married. I was already a grandmother in fact. He had his one son later in life (late thirties) and I had my four kids when I was in my twenties.
My husband's ex wife inadvertently did us a favor when she encouraged her son to participate in every single activity he could possibly be involved in - because that made it possible for us to spend more time with him, outside the normal visitation schedule. After all, it's not like she could tell us "You can't go to the football game," or "You can't come to the basketball banquet." And to the ex wife's credit, she was usually civil to us (and we were civil to her of course) at all these functions.
I also know - and often remarked - that there is no way that ANY family could give multiple children that amount of attention, just for the record. In fact, he wouldn't have gotten that much attention in an INTACT FAMILY if he'd had siblings, because no one set of parents could keep up with all those appointments, games, etc. for more than one kid. But it was what it was, and all that activity made it possible for us to spend a lot more time with him, so even though it was wearing at times, it was worth it.
But my point is that my husband didn't do the bare minimum when it came to visitation or child support or loving attention and he expected me to to give more than the bare minimum too - which I did. And the rest of my point was that the kids don't ask to have to split their time and attention up between two homes - so the parents should do whatever they can to ease that stress for their kids.Moving hours away just because it's a personal urge to live elsewhere makes things more difficult than they have to be for the most innocent parties in the picture.
Even though this thread has gone off on a tangent, I'll reply to this.
I have 50/50 custody. It means I have her 1/2 the time. One week at my house, then one week at her moms house.
Wait do you live in NYC bc i see you in the nyc forum. Then I definitely understand moving bc it is super expensive here. But phoenix is way more than five hours. Try jersey, or dmv area not so far. Maybe upstate.
Even though this thread has gone off on a tangent, I'll reply to this.
I have 50/50 custody. It means I have her 1/2 the time. One week at my house, then one week at her moms house.
If she lives with you 50% of the time it's pretty darned obvious that you need to stay in the 909 until your 11yo finishes high school.
Listen I get it wanting to relocate to a lower cost of living region of the country. But at this point in your life you have some serious responsibilities keeping you where you are. You don't need to move. You just want to move. And you have pretty much 16 pages of people telling you "nooooo don't do it man!"
Also from earlier in the thread Bible Schmible cleaving to your wife that's the same book that also says you don't get divorced / remarried or else you're an adulterer. You can't just pick & choose the passages that best fit your situation.
Wow! You're even more of a neanderthal than the guy you're responding to. Come out of the dark ages, lady. At least read the previous responses by all the other men here and read a few from women who are telling him to leave too.
and what does that make you calling me a Neanderthal ? do you feel better now that you have shown ignorance by name calling . It never astounds me about how people can be such bullies behind a computer screen .
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