Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I guess I was naive thinking kissing the teachers's butt wouldn't start until kids were older, bc dear lord there's 2 in my DD's class who suck up non-stop. This is a pre-school age dance class. I personally find the teacher to be sort of abrasive. Or maybe it's her voice that I sound really irritating. But DD likes her so hey. She doesn't say hi to anyone when she walks in either and just looks straight ahead, but she' college age, so I'll give her a pass lol. But 2 moms (nice ladies too), but literally every week yell out "Omg, hi Miss so-so" like to 2 high school girls at the lunch table. Then they'll sit there and VERY loudly voice how "Omg, she's gorgeous." They give combined gifts and cards to her for evey holiday created, Halloween, Valentine's day, etc. They even hang around after the class fretting, is that a word, telling the teacher how their DD just lovesss the teacher, or what the she did today was soo great and amazing. I was also put on the spot by one of them to contribute a pretty large amount of money for an end of the year gift. I really had no intention of giving a gift in all honesty. I mean, for a classroom teacher yes, but for an acitivity like this, maybe a card or something small. She asked me 2x in front of all the other moms too, and then wrote down the names in a little book. So let me guess, if I didn't give any money, my name wouldn't have been in the card. I wouldn't be surprised if she's FB friends with the teacher too. So, just curious, does this butt kissing happen with the parents your around too? Is little sussie going to be in the front row and my kid in the second bc I'm not doting on the teacher when she opens up the door lol.
My daughter was in numerous dance classes, through several different studios, and the other parents have never acted like that. I do not recall ever giving a gift to the teacher, other than chipping in for a bouquet of flowers the day of major dance recitals. My daughter even took private lessons for a year and we did not give her a gift (frankly, the several thousand dollars in charges for the lessons was gift enough).
We did often write a thank you note or give a card at the end of the season to the dance teacher, but certainly not for any holidays.
My girls are finishing up their 5th year of dance. I have never witnessed "suck-up" behavior like that at our studio. We don't give gifts to the teachers, other than sending a Christmas card, and I do regularly tell them how much my kids enjoy their lessons.
They've been involved in other extra-curriculars (gymnastics, t-ball, karate, robotics, basketball, Girl Scouts) and I've never seen it anywhere.
I do see it a little bit in their regular school, with classroom teachers and administrators. It doesn't particularly bother me. My kids seem to do well enough without my brown-nosing.
I have noticed some of this behavior in my dd's dance studio. Luckily, it doesn't mean much to the studio owner. The kids that work hard and want to be there get his attention, regardless if their parents kiss his behind or not.
I saw this in my kid's soccer in 2nd grade. It was gross. The moms just threw themselves at the coach, I think hoping he would play their kids more? Or spend more time with them, I guess. It was highly dysfunctional. We ended up quitting for several reasons...but the parents behavior was part of it (you should have seen them at games)
I've seen it happen....good coaches and teaches don't fall for it.....but yeah, sometimes cliques are formed.
If the instructor encourages this sort of behavior find a new outlet - it won't get better. But if it's just the other parents trying to curry favor, just be personable to the teacher...let them know directly that you are willing to help (and how so) if they ask.
Hard to tell to tell if it is sucking up or a genuine sense of gratefulness to the coach, teacher, etc. If I'm at an event, I will stand in line to say something nice to the teacher afterwards. I've also have been very generous in giving gifts ( if I feel the teacher is going a great job). If I'm gushing in my praise for someone, it isn't to curry favor. It is heartfelt and genuine. If someone is doing a great job, why not give them some praise?
Never have sucked up folks in my career nor am I going to do that with teachers or coaches. What the OP describes though is a bit over the top....
I'm picturing ex-sorority girls who are now moms in their late 20s feeling old and a bit jealous around this younger teacher. Maybe they think if they befriend her or if she likes them, it'll feel like they're young and cool again. It probably mostly subconscious, but what they're doing seems pretty strange to me!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
there's 2 in my DD's class who suck up non-stop. This is a pre-school age dance class. I personally find the teacher to be sort of abrasive. Or maybe it's her voice that I sound really irritating. But DD likes her so hey. She doesn't say hi to anyone when she walks in either and just looks straight ahead, but she' college age, so I'll give her a pass lol. But 2 moms (nice ladies too), but literally every week yell out "Omg, hi Miss so-so" like to 2 high school girls at the lunch table. Then they'll sit there and VERY loudly voice how "Omg, she's gorgeous." They give combined gifts and cards to her for evey holiday created, Halloween, Valentine's day, etc. They even hang around after the class fretting, is that a word, telling the teacher how their DD just lovesss the teacher, or what the she did today was soo great and amazing. I was also put on the spot by one of them to contribute a pretty large amount of money for an end of the year gift. I really had no intention of giving a gift in all honesty. I mean, for a classroom teacher yes, but for an acitivity like this, maybe a card or something small. She asked me 2x in front of all the other moms too, and then wrote down the names in a little book. So let me guess, if I didn't give any money, my name wouldn't have been in the card. I wouldn't be surprised if she's FB friends with the teacher too. So, just curious, does this butt kissing happen with the parents your around too? Is little sussie going to be in the front row and my kid in the second bc I'm not doting on the teacher when she opens up the door lol.
