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My mother was not the best Mother in the world---however there is one sentence she said to me growing up that has always stuck with me. "It is the second person that starts the fight."
It really makes sense...the second person's reaction will set the stage. Often it is more powerful to walk away, ignore and go through the proper channels.
I just feel it she would have just ignore his stupid words the next few things would not have happened. There will always be people that will say stupid stuff.
good post and good quote by your mother to avoid the fight
here's another quote ive had to say many times- this was from a tv show- this well trained fighter asked his master "what do I do when someone else strikes first?" the master said if you can walk away "we prize peace over victory"
maybe the op's daughter will serve a greater purpose in the school... maybe this will heighten the awareness of this crap and the school system makes a new rule with zero tolerance- any girl reporting a boy touching them is suspended (the boy)
I remember when my son was in high school... look at the teenage music and movies - not to mention how they dance now....attitudes towards girls/women are very low - I told him to always respect women and then defined what respect meant..
Location: Born & Raised DC > Carolinas > Seattle > Denver
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Just a random question about the situation....
But if the boy was petty enough to actually press charges, couldn't the girl claim that she was sexually assaulted? Grabbing a girl's but after she told him to leave her alone....that's gotta be pushing some sort of assault/groping charge, no?
I know I could go to the police but my daughter says she just wants for it to be over with and she doubts he or any other boy will do anything like that again. Certainly even the tougher boys know she is not an easy target.
I know I could go to the police but my daughter says she just wants for it to be over with and she doubts he or any other boy will do anything like that again. Certainly even the tougher boys know she is not an easy target.
No.
They'll just switch targets.
Maybe it's just me, but I personally feel a moral obligation to keep someone from hurting other people once I know how they are. It's easier to just forget about it, but it's not the right thing to do.
Just think if your daughter could have avoided this whole mess if the last girl he messed with had turned him in.
As to the controversy of why there were two punches...if you know anything about martial arts, then you will know that combinations are practiced over and over and drilled into your head.
The jab-punch combo is extremely common and honestly I think if I was just reacting to something it's exactly what I would go to. Jab left, punch right so fast it's one move. Both strikes are out in less than a second.
I haven't trained formally in a few years and it still comes out that way - muscle memory.
Honestly, that kid is lucky she didn't give him full knee in the groin.
I am SO angry! It's really great I found a parenting forum because I need it. Why is it kids that defend themselves no matter how justifiable get in trouble?? My daughter who is 16 was walking to one of her classes when a boy started heckling her, when she told him to scram (what she said was worse, my daughter isn't afraid to stand up for herself) he grabbed her rear!
Now lots of other girls would be in shock or so surprised they just take it and tell a teacher but not my daughter. She immediately turned around, punched him in the face two times. Now my daughter is 5'10, takes martial arts and even lifts weights as well as other physically demanding things so she can hit pretty hard!
Well before even my daughter could tell what happened the boy (who is part of the football team no less) went straight to the principal so I get a call at work and immediately go up there. And my daughter is there and so is the boy with his mother and he is CRYING and bleeding from his nose! She got him good but was acting like the victim. The principal told me my daughter was suspended for five days and the whole "violence is never acceptable" speech despite HIM grabbing my daughter!
Even the boys mother was giving me real dirty looks. My daughter explained her case and it was obviously self-defense but that didn't seem to matter. Not that I want my daughter to use violence but in that case it was certainly justified.
I took my daughter home and said she was in the right and she wouldn't be in trouble at home.
But again, while I don't advocate violence I am proud of her, proud of her for not just taking it and turning this football player into a cry baby
I still find it absurd my daughter was suspended. I hate this zero tolerance or zero brain approach schools have.
Assuming the boy was also appropriately disciplined for assaulting your daughter, I have no issue with them suspending your daughter for assaulting him. In my school each would have warranted a 1-2 day suspension depending on other factors.
The correct course of action would have been for her to tell the administration he assaulted her rather than responding by assaulting him. And no, I do not find her actions justifiable. Understandable, maybe, justifiable no.
You, of course, are within your rights to not discipline her, but given that she also has martial arts training she is at greater risk of being charged with battery or assault, even if someone touches her. Most martial artists avoid confrontations of all types despite provocation because they know that they are more likely to be considered dangerous than non-trained people.
That is the thing she did immediately went and told her teacher but the boy went straight to the principles office, like a huge coward, and told them she attacked him for no reason.
Also how was she not in the right hitting him for what he did? If some random guy grabbed some female MMA/boxing fighters rear on the street I am pretty sure he would get punched yet I would think most would consider that appropriate.
Not only would many not consider appropriate, many would consider it an escalation of violence AND she could be charged with assault.
First unwanted touch = say NO and tell an adult
Second time = tell an adult again
Third time = beat the sh*t out of them
I see no issue with this.
The castrated crap heads running schools these days are not going to teach my kid that people can physically violate you with no consequences.
Agree with the first one.
Second time I would notify the police since clearly the school didnt "fix" the issues
I don't think three is ever warranted as written. Physically protect yourself and stop them from touching you. Physically punishing them by escalating the violence? Not warranted.
Would you be saying differently had he say, grabbed her breasts? She knows to only hit in self-defense and while he may not have punched her, I think grabbing her rear still counts as not only assault but sexual assault.
The boy did not know who he was messing with and I am sure he will think twice before doing it again.
Not to mention he started harassing her and as she put it she told him to "f off", and that is when he did it. I really hate this idea that women and girls if assaulted, even sexually assaulted should just take it.
I am not sure why reporting it to the authorities is "just taking it". Following that train of thought it quickly becomes vigilantism.
I know I could go to the police but my daughter says she just wants for it to be over with and she doubts he or any other boy will do anything like that again. Certainly even the tougher boys know she is not an easy target.
If she went to the police, she would also potentially be charged with assault. Not that that should discourage her if she wants to go to the police, but two punches from someone with martial arts training it could easily be construed as excessive force.
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