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Well first off I find it surprising you have never heard of Ronda Rousey. She is not really a celeb but a UFC fighter.
Anyway I am upset because every day thousands of women in the United States alone are raped/abused/assaulted by men and very little is ever done about it. But when my daughter is all the burden of proof is on her. Imagine how many men would choose not to assault women if they knew death was a high possiblility.
It's true, bad things happen to women all the time and not much is done about it. I've taught my daughters to defend themselves as much as possible, not just how to use a gun but what to do if a man grabs you...bite, scratch, grab and twist, everything you can. I haven't told them about the things that happened to me when I was a teenager. Maybe I should. I've tried to teach them to be tougher and less gullible than I was, and to scream for help if something happens. One of the things that happened to me when I was a teenager was an assault in my front yard. A neighbor boy pinned me down and twisted my breasts until I bled through my tshirt. I didn't scream for help, even though there were neighbors outside and I think they would have intervened if they had realized it was more than just horseplay. My mom wouldn't let me call the police because she was embarrassed and said things like that don't happen to nice girls. The boy who hurt me went to jail for murder a few years later, after he shot and killed someone in his living room. I wonder if that would have happened if my mom had let me report what he did to me.
Anyhow, I agree that what happened to your daughter sucked and that it's unfair that the boy is probably going unpunished. Someone suggested that he'll be teased about it forever, how he got beat up by a girl, which is probably true and might have to be enough.
What I told my daughter to do when the boys were groping her at school was to start yelling at them to stop touching her butt (or the other things they were doing) as loud as she could, to attract teachers' attention to the problem while it was still happening. She couldn't do it. She was afraid she'd get in trouble for yelling, and she might have been right. She felt like it was somehow her fault, because she developed earlier than the other girls in her class and that made her a target. She was in 4th grade when it was happening to her, and the school kept dismissing it as a boy just bumping into her by accident and my daughter being too sensitive. She still feels bad about it and thinks she could have handled it better. I wish she didn't feel like it was her fault.
I don't know what happened to the boy but I can try to find out, though would they tell me?
I agree with you that sexually touching someone is very wrong yet many here are acting like she hit him for just tapping her shoulder.
I don't know what they'll tell you, but I think the minute you mention sexual harassment and lawyer, they will jump to action. You can also request, in writing, their action plan for keeping your daughter safe from future harassment.
I'd file a lawsuit against the school. This falls under Title IX rules. Grabbing someone's rear end is sexual harassment, possibly assault. The school had an obligation to report the incident to the police, which I assume they didn't. They acted negligently. The ACLU might be interested in getting involved in this one.
Actually the school does not have an obligation to report certain crimes to the police. Things like fights, harassment, theft, etc. are typically handled in the school as a first resort with escalation or continued issues sometime involving the police. Either party is certainly entitled to go to the police but the school is not obligated to go to the police for every issue.
Question: If some guy grabbed Ronda Rousey's rear/breast/crotch and she turned around and pummeled the guy would you be saying she was in the wrong? Far as I am concerned when a man hits or inappropriately touches a woman there is nothing she could do to him that should be considered excessive force.
Well that is where you are wrong. Both legally and morally.
Of course she would be wrong to use excessive force. What if she killed him? Even kindergartners know that two wrongs don't make a right.
If my daughter did this, I would not be surprised because this is exactly what I plan to teach my daughter. If someone physically assaults you, defend yourself. I have been witness to many instances where a female student has told the administration and it was just a she said/ he said and nothing happened to the male student.
This isn't a case of taking matters into your own hands. This is a case of a natural reaction of self preservation.
Now this is an example of where Title IX would come into play. If a student says they were harassed or assaulted, especially sexually, and the school does nothing that would be a violation of federal law. They must investigate, and even then if there are no findings the student may also press charges with the police.
As a high school teacher for over a decade, I am surprised by how many people think this girl hitting the boy who assaulted her will make her less of a target. That has not been my experience. With a student who is so out of touch with high school or even societal norms that he thinks nothing of groping a woman in the hallway for all to see, I do not think a bloody nose is going to elicit anything other than some sort of retaliatory mindset.
There seems to be a notion that if you stand up to the bully they back down. Sometimes they do, sometimes (more often IME) they come back with friends, are more sneaky, and with an eye for some revenge.
As pointed out he is likely to get taunted by his peers, again making some more likely to escalate and lash out. I hope that does not happen to the OPs daughter.
I am SO angry! It's really great I found a parenting forum because I need it. Why is it kids that defend themselves no matter how justifiable get in trouble?? My daughter who is 16 was walking to one of her classes when a boy started heckling her, when she told him to scram (what she said was worse, my daughter isn't afraid to stand up for herself) he grabbed her rear!
Now lots of other girls would be in shock or so surprised they just take it and tell a teacher but not my daughter. She immediately turned around, punched him in the face two times. Now my daughter is 5'10, takes martial arts and even lifts weights as well as other physically demanding things so she can hit pretty hard!
Well before even my daughter could tell what happened the boy (who is part of the football team no less) went straight to the principal so I get a call at work and immediately go up there. And my daughter is there and so is the boy with his mother and he is CRYING and bleeding from his nose! She got him good but was acting like the victim. The principal told me my daughter was suspended for five days and the whole "violence is never acceptable" speech despite HIM grabbing my daughter!
Even the boys mother was giving me real dirty looks. My daughter explained her case and it was obviously self-defense but that didn't seem to matter. Not that I want my daughter to use violence but in that case it was certainly justified.
I took my daughter home and said she was in the right and she wouldn't be in trouble at home.
But again, while I don't advocate violence I am proud of her, proud of her for not just taking it and turning this football player into a cry baby
I still find it absurd my daughter was suspended. I hate this zero tolerance or zero brain approach schools have.
I applaud your daughter for standing up for herself and you for recognizing that.
If more women weren't intimidated against defending themselves against sexual assault, there'd be a lot less of it. As for those that suggest telling the teacher? Lol. Let's be real here, the school wouldn't have done jack beyond maybe giving him a lunch detention or something.
She got suspended for hitting him back. The pricinple dosent know what happened. you have to say that she was sexual assaulted and he got what he deserved. Damn in my old hs there would be no principle involved only a huge fight. she did the right thing, but sometimes in the real world he could have fought back even harder and ganged up on her. Call the police even, call his stupid parents. they both should be suspended and his ass needs a lesson
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