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Parents saving for their kids college is considered to the thing to do, but if parents don't do you think that makes them automatically bad parents? In my case my parents never did. They both had the idea of making it your own way. Not that they were mean or abusive in any way, just how they felt, not that they ever made that much.
No, I don't think it makes someone a bad parent. My parents did not have the means, so I funded college through a combination of loans, grants and small scholarships and for grad school, I took out significant loans to attend an expensive private institution. My college roommate had parents more like you describe, they had the means, but felt their daughter should make her own way, so she worked 20-25 hour weeks and graduated in 6 years from a challenging Engineering program.
Most Financial Advisors will suggest that people put their own savings needs first before saving for their children's college, the reason being that there are always options available to people to help fund college, but not for people to save for their retirement.
Of course, in an ideal world, people would start putting money aside as soon as their children are born, even if it's a small amount, but that's not always possible.
Absolutely not. Your parents' first responsibility in setting aside money for the future is their own retirement. If they choose to put money aside for college after that, it's very generous, but it doesn't make them better parents than those who do not.
Parents saving for their kids college is considered to the thing to do,
I think the expectations that parents always pay for college is a more recent thing.
I graduated college 12 years ago. Everyone of my peers had student loans. I've kept in touch with 15-20 or so and we often discussed the progress of our student loans, and even had parties when one person finished paying them off. I know my sample size is small, but my opinion is that parents paying for college seems to be a more recent theme, otherwise we wouldn't have article after article on how student loan debt is crippling millennials across the country.
In my opinion, parents should focus more on retirement, than college. The best gift a parent can give their child is not saddling them with the burden of taking care of an aging parent when they should be focused on their own personal life, kids, marriage, etc.
I never expected my parents to pay for my college, and I certainly don't fault them for it.
In some cases, I think it makes the child take college more seriously if they have a hand in paying for it.
ETA: Years ago, we were having a get together with friends. The subject of college came up and I stated that I would probably have my theoretical children fund their 1st and 3th years while I would do their 2 and 4rd years. One of the attendees of the party was horrified. Why in the world would I do that. It didn't make any sense to her. Her stepdaughter later went off to college on a athletic scholarship. She failed out the first year and lost it. She has since went back to school and has her degree though it took her a good 10 years.
No, not bad at all. Saving for university is an extra parents can do but it shouldn't be required. My parents didn't pay for me, they helped me out from time to time out of their goodness of their hearts but I would never expect that. They helped my brother more but he needed it (undiagnosed autism). They did their best, and weren't bad parents in that sense.
In most cases no. Not everyone has the means to help their kids with college costs. But, I have known a couple sets of parents who could have done so and instead spent lavishly on homes, cars, clothes, jewelry, eating out, country club memberships, plastic surgery, exotic vacations, and pretty much every form of conspicuous consumption instead of setting aside any funds for their kids to attend college. They could have easily done so, but their priority was not education.
In my case my parents never did. They both had the idea of making it your own way. Not that they were mean or abusive in any way, just how they felt, not that they ever made that much.
I think that made them better parents. There's nothing wrong with an adult child getting their own grants and subsidies at a college they can afford on their own dime.
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