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More the problem I see with many parents - they pay for college but have no plan for it prior to their kids' acceptance.
Meaning, they did no saving over the years and now take out their own loans, get a second mortgage, takes loans from their 401k/403b, etc to cover some college costs.
From what I see, it doesn't seem to be common anymore to start a college fund for your kids early and let it grow for 18 years. Good or bad I have no idea.
Depends on your values I guess. I would want to cover their ungrad at least at a state school. Extras and grad school are on them. If they choose no college/trade school perhaps it would be their wedding present for a house down payment (I hope). For me, it was gift to graduate with no debt. (student loan or otherwise)
FWIW, I don't think the small amount I put aside every month in a 529 account makes me a better parent.
No, but let me be devil's advocate here. As several have stated, it is the parent(s)' job to give the kid a start in life. Parents who have no plans at all for the post high school life of their kids aren't doing their kids any favors.
A lot of kids live at home after HS graduation, even if, maybe especially if, they don't go to college. So the parent is essentially "giving" them about $1000 or more per month in housing, food, maid service, some financial support w/clothes and such. Why not pay that for college instead?
Exactly! That's why I always question these people who post that they "did it all themselves", then relate they lived at home, most likely ate most meals at home w/o contributing to the groceries, drove to campus in a car probably bought by the parents, even got their laundry done by their moms in many cases.
I agree parents should plan for their own retirement first. Almost every financial planner says that.
Yup. All one needs to do is look up the cost of room and board, which makes up a very large chunk of college costs; being able to live at home for free is a decent amount of help, I believe. For our kids, we're paying their tuition and they can live at home for free while in school; considering we are in commuting distance of 3 state universities, a very good community college, and 4 or 5 private colleges (and even more school options are just a train ride away) that's pretty reasonable, IMO. If they decide they want to live in the dorms or get an apartment, it's on them to fund it.
Does it make us better or worse parents than anyone else? No. We're just coming the perspective of knowing how hard we struggled and are still not as established as our peers who did have help from their parents. And that's taking into account how we came up with the brilliant idea to get married so we'd qualify as independent students and get a lot more grant money, lol. Ah, youth.
Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 08-03-2016 at 12:59 PM..
We're not funding their college career. We will help in ways we can, but fully fund? Nope. My in-laws plan to contribute as well, and they have inheritance.
We've had talks with our older two about their options, college expenses, testing, degree programs, and to consider different routes and opportunities. If they're exceptional enough to get into an Ivy League their education will be fully covered. They can take a year off and join AmeriCorps for volunteering experience and education award. They can consider online programs if they don't need the college experience.
My soon-to-be middle schooler was really intrigued by the whole college thing and the ins and outs when I was applying to grad school. We've had many talks about their options and opportunities.
Exactly! That's why I always question these people who post that they "did it all themselves", then relate they lived at home, most likely ate most meals at home w/o contributing to the groceries, drove to campus in a car probably bought by the parents, even got their laundry done by their moms in many cases.
I agree parents should plan for their own retirement first. Almost every financial planner says that.
Ha! I had a co-worker that used to brag all the time about how he "put himself through college completely on his own". It wasn't until much later that he admitted that he had all of those things that you mentioned. He lived at home, his mom did all the grocery shopping, cooking & laundry and he used a car that his parents bought for him. And, of course, he was on their health insurance & car insurance.
While, there was nothing wrong with that, IMHO, it was wrong to for him to brag that he "did it on his own" while criticizing his co-workers for saving up for their children's college expenses.
Absolutely not. I paid for nearly all my college costs working several jobs and saving all the money. Going to a community college for two years kept costs way down, and then transferred to state university (which too every one of my classes from community college). Kids that expect their parents to pay all their college costs often have a huge sense of entitlement from what I've observed.
We are definitely going to pay for all of our kids' college costs, but I don't think parents who don't are "bad". Everyone has a different style. As long as they are relatively involved in their kids' lives, they are better than most parents.
Go watch a few episodes of "Shameless" and you'll understand that it takes a lot more than simply not paying for college to be a "bad" parent!
I think the opposite. I graduated 20 years ago and most people I knew had college expenses paid by parents. People in my parents generation could, in general, more easily afford to both save for college, and retirement. It's more difficult now with many companies doing away with paid retirement.
My experience mirrors yours, similar timing as well. Tuition was cheap (and in state could be paid by working at a decent job during the summer and part time during the school year), both my parents were civil servants who did not make a tone of money but also each had a pension awaiting them at the end of their terms of service so retirement savings wasnt necessary.
The real problem is the crazy tuition inflation, stagnant wages for those graduating college and the fact that financial aid/expected family contribution is based upon parents income (penalizing those living in high cost of living areas and those who will receive no support from parents).
Because the kids may or may not graduate from college, get a job and then take care of their parents after all that.
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