Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
... In my opinion, parents should focus more on retirement, than college. The best gift a parent can give their child is not saddling them with the burden of taking care of an aging parent when they should be focused on their own personal life, kids, marriage, etc ...
I think Mike makes a good point. With people living longer, we shouldn't have the idea that it's our children's responsibility to take care of us in our old age. Especially if we haven't gifted them with the higher education they may need to be qualified for good salaries.
But I think it is a case-by-case thing. If parents don't have money, they shouldn't be the ones to take on debt for education beyond high school. But if they do have money, and instead of helping the children they chose to have get a leg up on life with higher ed, they buy expensive cars, boats, multiple homes, take lavish vacations, etc., I'd say their parenting skills are questionable.
But first and foremost, parents should be responsible for making sure their children make the best of the public education that is offered to them.
You do know that your experience is the exception right? It is inarguable that as a whole, the college educated earn more over their lifetime. Something like over $2 million more.
Everything in life is arguable.
I'm just about to turn my back to my entire state-of-art past Friday and start selling unique sweets at a scenic spot full time instead. It pays confirmedly better than the pursuit I spent decades mastering in academia, so that's what I'll do from now. I admit, had I studied computer programming or finance instead of my actual major, the picture might be very different. But I didn't, so roadside bazaar, here I come. I'll take *this* to the next level, next.
My parents would die if they saw this, but they are both departed, so - full steam ahead. Back when I was maybe 16, they showed me all the money they put aside for my study in the major they deemed "safest". (Which I studied, indeed.) I remarked, looking at the funds, "Why not just skip the whole paper chase, and let me equip and start my own business with this money? It's plenty enough for that." They'd hear none of this, so I studied, excelled, got my degree like a good boy, innovated in several aspects past the entire field, and having done all that, I'm back anyway at starting my own unrelated business instead, as it is still better money.
The morality of all this? Heck knows. Take what you want from my life story. Just offering a different angle on the original question. I'll shut up now.
Absolutely not. Your parents' first responsibility in setting aside money for the future is their own retirement. If they choose to put money aside for college after that, it's very generous, but it doesn't make them better parents than those who do not.
Yep. And in the financial aid calculation, 401(k)/IRA accounts pretty much aren't counted in the eligibility formula. Home equity in a modest house also isn't counted much so parents getting their mortgage mostly paid off on a middle class home is the other priority. The worst thing you can do for education in terms of financial aid is have accounts in your children's names. Those have to get spent to zero.
Unfortunately, the financial aid formula really penalizes people who "do it right". You're better off keeping your money under your mattress, in coffee cans buried in the back yard, or in your offshore account in the Caymans.
Great post. I am shocked that almost no one else on the thread took this into account.
If you can afford to and don't, what is the child supposed to do considering that they will not qualify for aid?
Does this change anyone's views at all?
I think this depends on the dynamics of the parents and the child's relationship. It may be one of the those cases where the parents may feel that their child needs to learn more responsibility.
I personally don't think that it is required to pay for your child's education. After all, they are adults. And as adults, you are not entitled to anything. A lot of what I will do for my child depends on the their attitude. If they are spoiled with a huge since of entitlement, I will quickly remedy that. This does not mean I will not help my kids with college or anything in life, but they need to make an effort and not expect to have everything. It takes work. If they are will to put forth the work, then I am willing to help them (but not completely). I want my children to be able bodies and not rely on others to fix their problems for them.
I have a 20 year old and he has chosen not to go to college at this time, and I encouraged it. He is not in the right mindset to put forth the work college requires. He has a really good paying job in the utility field for his age. I have groomed him over the past three years on how to handle bills and responsibilities. I didn't make him pay for everything that he wanted outright but did in phases so he didn't become overwhelmed. As a parent, my job is to prepare my children to function in the real world without me, not take care of everything.
Parents saving for their kids college is considered to the thing to do, but if parents don't do you think that makes them automatically bad parents? In my case my parents never did. They both had the idea of making it your own way. Not that they were mean or abusive in any way, just how they felt, not that they ever made that much.
IMHO parents are fools to pay for their kids beyond High School. Best life lesson is to pay your own way.
Absolutely not. I paid for nearly all my college costs working several jobs and saving all the money. Going to a community college for two years kept costs way down, and then transferred to state university (which too every one of my classes from community college). Kids that expect their parents to pay all their college costs often have a huge sense of entitlement from what I've observed.
That's exactly how I did it. Two years CC and two years at the State university. I never got a dime from my parents and I never lived at home. Between the GI Bill, work and two small student loans I made it work.
Went to community college for two years while living at home. Couldn't afford to finish the last two years at a state university, so I went to work at the post office for four years. Saved up my money and went back and finished the last two years using my savings plus a part-time job washing buses. Total time to finish undergrad degree: 8 years.
Are things a lot more expensive these days? Sure. You have to be creative and look at a combination of loans, savings, and part time work to do it -- and perhaps some parental help. But I knew students back in the day who had their degrees handed to them on a silver platter by parents or grandparents, and they didn't have the fire in the belly that those of us who had to struggle and fight to make it through.
Giving your kids a free ride isn't doing them any favors -- because when they graduate, they'll soon find the real world doesn't work that way. Or, they'll be living in your basement until you pass away or move.
Went to community college for two years while living at home. Couldn't afford to finish the last two years at a state university, so I went to work at the post office for four years. Saved up my money and went back and finished the last two years using my savings plus a part-time job washing buses. Total time to finish undergrad degree: 8 years.
Are things a lot more expensive these days? Sure. You have to be creative and look at a combination of loans, savings, and part time work to do it -- and perhaps some parental help. But I knew students back in the day who had their degrees handed to them on a silver platter by parents or grandparents, and they didn't have the fire in the belly that those of us who had to struggle and fight to make it through.
Giving your kids a free ride isn't doing them any favors -- because when they graduate, they'll soon find the real world doesn't work that way. Or, they'll be living in your basement until you pass away or move.
While I am accepting of other people's choices, the bold is just plain wrong. We paid for our kids' undergrad educations. They both went to grad school on their own (loans and work), and are doing quite well, thank you very much.
While I am accepting of other people's choices, the bold is just plain wrong. We paid for our kids' undergrad educations. They both went to grad school on their own (loans and work), and are doing quite well, thank you very much.
I don't think there is anything wrong in what the poster stated. For some kids, it's very true. By paying for their college education completely does not help them later on with their life choices. Some kids appreciate the help and don't take it for granted and others do. It all depends on the person.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
