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While i DON'T agree a 16 year old and a forty year old should be CLOSE intimate {not meaning sex...yet} friends, I'm not sure about a 400 mile away online presence.
Take THIS forum, for instance.
While most of are NOT here for dating services, I could be chatting with an 18 year on one forum while I am 53, and not necessarily know it, OR I MAY know it and welcome a fresh pair of eyes. i COULD ALSO be chatting in a post WITH A 16 year old mascarading as an 18 or even 20 year old, unbeknownst to me.
THAT alone doesn't mean I'm a predator.
However, SHE should NOT be discussing the personal details of her relationship or divorce WITH a sixteen year old.
I agree, you/he needs to end it and the phone block against her phone number{s} be instituted. CALL your phone company if unsure how, or read your phone system's manual for how to do that, or search for the instructions online.
CALL HER Immediately and tell her if she does NOT end ALL contact with your son, you will notify the police that she "appears to be grooming him for more nefarious reasons, and is harassing you and your family at all hours of day and night".
THAT should put a bee in her bonnet and send her RUNNING.
If it doesn't, FOLLOW THROUGH with what I just said.
Contact the woman ASAP. I can't think of what a mature woman who could be his mother could talk for 5 hours with a kid. The fact she does that shows she is not responsible. She is nuts. Id also try to find her ex-husband and explain the situation. I mean you don't want to kid to steal money from you get on the plane and go meet this woman. Or worse, have her come to your city and stay in a hotel to meet with him.
16 year old boys dont think and yes, it's the hormones.
Why bother simply asking the police for advice? If he says Ohhh don't worry! Will you then just drop it? I'd call this woman NOW and be calm and just ask her if she knows she is speaking to a 16 year old? Then proceed based on what she says. If she is aware I'd tell her to back off before you report her.
When I was 50, I could talk to my friend's 19 yo son for 5 hours. About music, about concerts, about the universe, about life.
I think there's a lot of overreaction & jumping to conclusions here. The son did nothing to break any trust. He's having a convo with a friend, who happens to be 40. He TOLD his parents about it. How is that breaking trust? He thinks it's ok, likely b/c he has many online friends of varying ages & it's not occurred to him there's anything odd about it.
As for the woman, there is absolutely no evidence she knows his age or even if she does, that she's doing anything wrong. It's not illegal to talk to a 16 year old. Is it really that odd for a 16 yo's to have adult friends they can confide in? When I was growing up we had teachers, counselors, parents friends', neighbors, parents of our friends, etc. I don't think there's anything that unusual about a 16 yo confiding in an adult. Yes, he probably is talking to her about things he doesn't feel like he can talk to mom & dad about. That's normal in my book.
If you're concerned that it's inappropriate, def call the woman & talk to her. But calling the cops is really a stretch. What would you even say? A woman in your city is talking to my son? For all you know, they might be playing the game together on the phone for 1/2 the night & she thinks he's an adult. There's simply nothing illegal about what they're doing. There may not even be anything immoral about it. You simply don't know.
As for she deserves what she gets for talking to random strangers, well, that's kinda what we're all doing here LOL. I'm in my 50's & I've met most of my friends online, they were random strangers before I met them. When people in their 40's & 50's are meeting people online (& I don't mean dating, I mean platonic friendships), of course teens & 20 yo's are doing so.
I would really proceed with caution before accusing someone of being a predator, when there's absolutely nothing to indicate that that's the case. If she IS doing anything inappropriate, I imagine one phone call from you & your husband, will nip any prospective situation in the bud. Of course in 2 years he'll be 18 & can be friends with whoever he wants.
There's a short-term solution that the OP could implement right now. Assuming that they have a landline extension in their bedroom, they can simply remove the phone from the hook before going to bed. Yes, it will send out that annoying beepbeepbeepbeep tone for a time, but in a few minutes it will go silent. I believe that this will then "disable" the entire house's landline for as long as the phone is off the hook. Thus, if the woman calls, she'll get a busy signal; and if the son tries to call, he won't get a dial tone and thus won't be able to place the call. He'll wonder why the phones aren't working, but as long as he doesn't sneak into the master bedroom and check the phone in there, he won't know. (Just make sure that he can't hear the beepbeepbeepbeep when the receiver is first removed from the hook.)
End it firmly and decisively. Pull the phones out the wall, like my parents did to me many years ago.
You are inviting trouble into ur home. Who knows who they really are? And if it is truly harmless and all truth, no normal 40 y.o. woman chats up a 16 y.o. boy for hours.
Wrong on all levels but great he disclosed it: he.s probably becoming uncomfortable.
Gotsta go.
i would call her.. she may not even KNOW he is 16 but if she spoke with him for 5 hours in one stint.. she probably has a good idea that he aint 30 something..
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