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Thats not proof the are discussing activities which may or may not be illegal
Yup, they could be discussing anything. Plus, she's not a stranger to the kid. So while I get that it's alarming to the parents & she's a stranger to them, from the kid's POV, he's talking to a friend. I don't remember if OP said how long they'd been friends, weeks? months? a year or more?
The boy from his POV is talking to a trusted friend. Whether that trust is misplaced or not, we don't know.
yup, they could be discussing anything. Plus, she's not a stranger to the kid. So while i get that it's alarming to the parents & she's a stranger to them, from the kid's pov, he's talking to a friend. I don't remember if op said how long they'd been friends, weeks? Months? A year or more?
The boy from his pov is talking to a trusted friend.
Sure.. I had one knocking on my door last night at 11:30..
Or he's deleting messages because he doesnt want his parents to know he's contemplating running away, or that he might have a drug issue, and she's trying to talk him into stopping etc..
Under any context, conversations in the middle of the night, are not illegal..
And in today's world not always nefarious, especially given they met playing games online... My son plays group games on his XBox with that headset that allows him to talk to other players and he talks to all ages and sexes of people while playing.
I could envision any one of these people continuing the conversations offline if they chose.
The wonders of today's faceless anonymous contact...
Could someone first find out if she is aware he is underage? All of this was on the telephone or via an online game. She may not know, or maybe she just learned via the long call. Once she is informed and confronted by one or bot parents, then ensure that there is no further contact and that you will contact law enforcement IF CONTACT CONTINUES.
Calling in the cops now is premature and could lead to problems too awful to contemplate.
Thank you. I'd've bolded it, but SFBayBoomer already had.
Thats not proof the are discussing activities which may or may not be illegal
Quote: Originally Posted by JanND
Seriously, how many 40 year old strangers called you during the middle of the night and kept you on the phone 5 hours at a time when you were a teen? Boundaries??
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The law is blurry enough to begin with in many areas, and it is a decent thing to extend the benefit of the doubt to someone when there is no smoking gun that clearly shows any activity to be unlawful.
However (there is always a however, right?) ... adults must take all steps to avoid even the slightest appearance of impropriety when there is any contact with a minor. Even though what is known to have transpired does not rise to the level of a prosecutable offense, the woman's actions put her in a very bad light. If she is "guilty" of anything at this point, it would be for having zero common sense and seriously impaired judgment.
What are you doing on here? I'd be calling her and setting her straight! If this continues, I'd contact an attorney. He's a minor. You definitely need to be putting limits on your son. Having a 5 hour phone call with anyone in the middle of the night is not something that's normal.....certainly not for what appears to be going on.
My husband wants to call her just in case she isn't aware that he is only sixteen. I'm worried about losing our son's trust, but I see his point. I'm really not sure where to go from here.
16? That means in less than 2 years in the USA he can date anyone he wishes.
If he were 16 in Scotland, he would be of legal age NOW and could date anyone of any age right now.
I empathize with the situation in which you all find yourselves, but calling this woman a predator might be inaccurate and you could ruin her life and that of her family . You need to find out more before you start calling the authorities on her. With the son's deep voice (he knows he has a deep voice), he may be pretending to be older to her. And, from all that you have said, they have had only an online and telephone relationship so far.
He has the right to delete his personal texts unless your house rules stated before that all must be preserved, which would mean that you are not giving him the space that he, as a near-adult, should be given.
The five hour phone call is problematic, and not only because of this woman. He must feel exceptionally lonely or else why would he—living presumably at home with his mother and father [and possibly siblings] and going to school—have the need to reach out to this woman (other than the original online game). Have you gone in to see and talk with his school counselor? (You don't have to mention all the details, but you should find out how he is doing in school and whether he has good friends, male or female.) Does he have friends? Girlfriends? Does he go to school dances? And frankly, are you overly strict? I ask this because I know a woman who did not permit her son or daughter to even go to their high school prom!
I would certainly try to nip this in the bud, even if it is innocent, because your son is not of legal age and there are some questions to be answered. But do so carefully. You don't want a slander suit which could cost you even more than money. (What if she has a son of her own who decides to take matters into his own hands and at the least finds your son and beats him up?).
Don't count on a jury being on your side, either. A jury would likely think this is a he-said, she-said scenario and as it stands now, you have very little proof that she is in fact, someone who is grooming your son. (Go ahead and hire a private investigator, though, if you like.)
P.S. Looking back over past posts, apparently Ohio also gives 16-yr-olds the right to consent to sexual relationships between heterosexuals of any age:
Last edited by SFBayBoomer; 01-31-2017 at 06:33 PM..
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