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Seriously, how many 40 year old strangers called you during the middle of the night and kept you on the phone 5 hours at a time when you were a teen? Boundaries??
Thats not proof the are discussing activities which may or may not be illegal
OP, you were going to call the WOMAN (not email the police)? Is there some reason you haven't done that? Seems like such a simple and obvious first step, I am very puzzled as to why you haven't done it.
I don't understand either why she is dragging her feet. I would have either filed a complaint with the police or called the woman. THAT SAME DAY where I got the phone bill.
Sure.. I had one knocking on my door last night at 11:30..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Augiec
It's hard to trust when text messages are being deleted, and these phone calls are only happening in the middle of the night. IJS
Or he's deleting messages because he doesnt want his parents to know he's contemplating running away, or that he might have a drug issue, and she's trying to talk him into stopping etc..
Under any context, conversations in the middle of the night, are not illegal..
So ... someone you know. Nothing like the OP. The parents have no idea who this person is. Not the same thing at all.
I'd be far more concerned that a 16 year old was knocking on a grown mans door at 11:30 at night, than a 16 year old on the phone with someone who lived 400 miles away..
Wholly too much TV and media. WOW! Lets not get carried away.
We just (today) had the murder of a mother in front of her kids, she was living in a apartment for battered women. It's anyone's guess who was behind it or actually did said act... Love/infatuation/insanity does strange things to people so it's not that far out of an idea...
The hypothetical situation you keep referring to has nothing to do with the OP. This woman is not a mom of any of their son's friends, and not even someone they know at all.
There is NO level of trust between the OP and this person her son is talking to, and despite your efforts to rationalize these alarming circumstances, the parents here have every reason to be suspicious.
I was replying to someone upthread ^ who said when would a 40 yo talk to a 16 yo for 5 hours & I can think of scenarios where that would happen. There is a level of trust from the son's POV & at 16, he's practically an adult. That said, the parents should be suspicious & concerned & I advocated a phone call to the woman in question.
I'm not saying it's not odd, it is. I'm not trying to rationalize it, but I can think of scenarios where it may be perfectly innocent. Also, OP indicated, that it's very possible the woman doesn't know he's 16. It's also quite possible that the kid lied about his age. Kids lie about their ages all the time. That seems more likely to me than a predator around every corner. But, there ARE predators out there & it is always wise to be cautious.
I just don't get all the jumping to conclusion that there's a crime being committed & the woman's a predator. There may be nothing nefarious going on & there seems to be nothing illegal going on. The OP & her DH should definitely make the phone call to find out. But labeling the woman a predator b/c she had a phone convo with someone she may not even know is underage & talking about calling the police on her is unimaginable to me.
I'd be far more concerned that a 16 year old was knocking on a grown mans door at 11:30 at night, than a 16 year old on the phone with someone who lived 400 miles away..
It's your choice to try to rationalize this. Both situations ARE concerning.
The problem really isn't that he 16 and she is 40 (maybe, maybe not) and that they shouldn't be talking. The problem is that these conversations are going on in the middle of the night for an unlimited amount of time and are secret.
Who knows what they have been discussing? Texts between them have been erased (but they might be recoverable, nothing truly vanishes on the internet). If they were just talking about gaming or current events or celebrities, why the need for such secrecy?
Do we know for sure that this lady is unhappily married? Couldn't she be using a version of the line that married men use "oh my wife doesn't understand me and we don't sleep together anymore" to entice him into having an affair? Maybe she is working with a partner to lure him away from home and into danger. Maybe she is trying to set him up for something- we don't know. I'm sure that he is flattered by all the attention that this woman gives him but what are her true motives?
Either parent should have talked to this woman to ascertain whether she knew the true age of the son, why she keeps interacting with him and to tell her to stop or the police will be involved (depending on what state they are in, he could be considered a minor). It's not the OP's job to worry about whether the woman gets sex offender status, her job is protecting her son.
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Love/infatuation/insanity does strange things to people so it's not that far out of an idea...