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Oh, c'mon! I don't think much of this relationship, especially with the secrecy. However, the bold is over the top. We all have a right to have private conversations.
Maybe so, but anything that can not be said in front of the family is something that should not be said. Privacy is one thing, secret conversations are totally another thing.
I'm so incredibly shocked at how many of you just don't think that this is a big deal because we're talking about a male child and an adult female. I genuinely can't believe that you would not have already called the cops on a 40 year old man who was manipulating a 16 year old girl into sneaking around behind her parents back.
I would not call the cops on that either, unless there was evidence of illegal activity going on and it seemed worth prosecuting. It is not a gender issue, it is an issue of the rights we all have in a democratic society. I'm sorry if you have forgotten that creepy and suspicious does not equal proven illegal. It's the price you pay for democracy - you cannot take a legal action against someone solely for being creepy and inappropriate.
When I was about 16, I had a close friend who was in her late 30s. I met her when I did a rotortilling job for her and her husband. There was nothing sexual (Being a 16 year old male and her being very attractive I may have wished there was). We were just good friends. She and her husband did not get along well. I listened to her marriage woes, and general boredom issues or whatever, and she listened to my teenage angst, girl problems, parent problems, and gave me advice. Really no different than other female friends of my age who were nothing more than friend. Yes, Guys and gals can actually be just friends, even very close friends. I think parents with a problem with that are really just upset that they are not in control of advice or friendship of their kid. I would not have any particular problem if one of my daughters had an older guy friend. They did develop friendships with some of their teachers and professors and stay in touch with them years later. I do not think it is reasonable to assume every person who has any connection with a younger person of the opposite gender is a sexual predator. Is a 40 year old woman really going to be interested in a 16 year old kid?
I bet you wouldn't be ok with your 16 year old daughter have a 5 hour long middle of the night conversation with a 40 year old man. An adult having a friendship with a teen is one thing, the particulars the OP has described are well past the line of inappropriate contact.
I agree with SOON2BNSURPRISE post. As a parent I would want to know EXACTLY what the conversation was between my 16 year old and a 40 year old! I wouldn't care if my 16 year old thought it was intrusive. I'd rather they be mad then something bad happen to them! Do I need to know all details of every conversation they have with their friends? No, but if that friend is an adult, yes! There is nothing appropriate going on here!
I'm not talking about what's going on between these two. I'm talking about a general statement that "Anything that a kid is saying to a friend better be something that can be said in front of the parents." The poster was not specifying in this case; s/he was saying ever.
Why do you need to know all the details of every conversation with a kid's adult friend? Lots of kids become friends with coaches, youth directors, etc and talk to them about personal stuff.
I would not call the cops on that either, unless there was evidence of illegal activity going on and it seemed worth prosecuting. It is not a gender issue, it is an issue of the rights we all have in a democratic society. I'm sorry if you have forgotten that creepy and suspicious does not equal proven illegal. It's the price you pay for democracy - you cannot take a legal action against someone solely for being creepy and inappropriate.
No, but harassing is and any 40 year old that wants to talk online for hours or over the phone IMO is harassing the youth. There is NO reason why a 40 year old woman should be calling and talking to a 16 yr old boy for 5 hours, talking online and texting him. PLUS, telling the boy her problems about how she's getting a divorce. And I find it hard to believe that anyone would think it's ok!
All of the people who want to involve the cops: Can you please state the penal code that the woman is violating? He is 16. In most of the states she can even have sex with him without any legal consequences.
No, but harassing is and any 40 year old that wants to talk online for hours or over the phone IMO is harassing the youth. There is NO reason why a 40 year old woman should be calling and talking to a 16 yr old boy for 5 hours, talking online and texting him. PLUS, telling the boy her problems about how she's getting a divorce. And I find it hard to believe that anyone would think it's ok!
The law does not see it that way. If he is not complaining - you have nothing.
If you want to try to recover the deleted texts, you can run Dr.Fone on it (works on iPhones and Android devices). And that young man would cease having a cellphone if he were my son.
If I was 16 I would probably be think I was going to smash and live out the milf fantasty. Most likely too good to be true but the kid wont realize that and will probably end up doing something stupid.
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