Why do people think SAHMs will babysit (party, son, husband)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What group of people is being generalized here? I don't see any racism, sexism or anything else in this thread. Nobody is being persecuted here. That is a figment of your imagination. You seem to be very upset about this thread. I hope you can get past this somehow.
SAHMs and "society" as you phrased it, when you tried to generalize your personal experience with a handful of people to how SAHMS were viewed by "society". I can refresh your memory if that would help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
...
And the woman who wanted me to provide her with free childcare, was someone I didn't know. Someone else was asking me on her behalf. People have misconceptions about SAHMS in society.....
Do you think the words "generalize" and "persecuted" mean the same thing? Do you think that only racism and sexism are the only things that can be generalized? Anyway, the above is an example of the generalization that, IME, leads to so many problems in society. If nothing else it stirs up the "mommy wars", which can be called "mommyism" if it makes you feel better.
Anyway, the above is an example of the generalization that, IME, leads to so many problems in society. If nothing else it stirs up the "mommy wars", which can be called "mommyism" if it makes you feel better.
The only person here looking for a "war" is you. Everyone else has participated civilly in this discussion.
I am endlessly bothered by people taking the actions of one or two people and using them to making sweeping generalizations about groups. In all honesty I think it is one of the sources of many of societies ills. This thread is just a classic example.
These types of threads are all over CD so you have a choice to ether fight, walk away or start a thread of your own about how you think that making sweeping generalizations about groups is one of the sources of many of societies ills.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
The only person here looking for a "war" is you. Everyone else has participated civilly in this discussion.
I will never forget the story from another friend who has a son. Her son had a little friend (age 6 or so) who had a single Dad. When summer started the Dad just started dropping the kid off in the early morning while he drove off to work. Wouldn't even knock on the door, just booted the kid out and didn't come home until dinner. Finally my friend had to confront this man and tell him that she was NOT a free babysitter and he had to make other arrangements for his child.
The only person here looking for a "war" is you. Everyone else has participated civilly in this discussion.
You mean she's the one disagreeing with you? She's not been uncivil.
And I happen to agree with her and agree that some of what you are saying is contradictory or confusing. On the one hand you do say a FEW people yet somehow make it sound like this is a common problem for SAHMs. You also stated that you 'usually won't talk to them long enough to find out.....' what they are really asking, doesn't that mean you are making assumptions also?
You mean she's the one disagreeing with you? She's not been uncivil.
And I happen to agree with her and agree that some of what you are saying is contradictory or confusing. On the one hand you do say a FEW people yet somehow make it sound like this is a common problem for SAHMs. You also stated that you 'usually won't talk to them long enough to find out.....' what they are really asking, doesn't that mean you are making assumptions also?
Most of her uncivil posts have been deleted already.
Many people here have had the same experiences I have with being a SAHM and people assuming we have free time to babysit. Read the thread. So if I made this up, did everyone else here make up their experiences too? There are pages and pages of people relating their own experiences. It's certainly your choice to not believe it, to think we're all lying; but perhaps this is not the thread for you.
Most of her uncivil posts have been deleted already.
Many people here have had the same experiences I have with being a SAHM and people assuming we have free time to babysit. Read the thread. So if I made this up, did everyone else here make up their experiences too? There are pages and pages of people relating their own experiences. It's certainly your choice to not believe it, to think we're all lying; but perhaps this is not the thread for you.
I didn't say you made anything up and I did read the thread. I still agree that generalizations are being thrown about. I'll be the one who decides which threads I find of interest, thanks for your concern.
In my experience as a SAHM there were people who tried it and as soon as I said no, they didn't try it again. They were the kind of people I didn't hear much from unless they needed something from me or wanted to vent to me. If I wasn't doing something for them, I didn't hear from them. So those friendships didn't go far. But I saw them successfully using other SAHMs who had trouble saying no.
Then there were other moms (usually SAHMs) who we would help each other out with a variety of things, child care included. But it wasn't a common thing. It was like if someone in the family was having surgery or the sitter bailed at the last minute and there was a doctors appt. When the kids were younger, I really didn't like watching more kids. I know some people don't mind it but it got me out of my flow and threw a wrench in my day. Even now, I once in a while watch a friend's baby and an hour feels like 4 or 5.
With my kids older (11 and 12), I don't really mind their friends coming over. They keep them busy and they have fun and I don't have to hear "moooooom I'm bored" every 30 seconds. But I do find I invite my kid's friends over way more often the working moms. I figure they need to use their weekends for errands and stuff more then I do. For me, weekends feel more like down time then I think they would if I was working. And if I was working, I might want more quiet time. So it works out, I think.
If someone was asking me to watch their kids a lot because I was "just a SAHM", I would be highly annoyed.
When the kids were younger, I really didn't like watching more kids. I know some people don't mind it but it got me out of my flow and threw a wrench in my day. Even now, I once in a while watch a friend's baby and an hour feels like 4 or 5.
I've personally never accepted a request to babysit an infant or child under 18 months.
It's harder for me to watch more kids since I have three, and two are toddlers. So when my daughter has a playdate at our house, it's a lot of work. I spend the whole time chasing the kids around and making sure they don't get into anything they shouldn't. There's no way to sit back, relax and watch t.v. I know a playdate isn't the same thing as babysitting, but it's still work for me. There is also a lot of liability involved with caring for other people's kids in one's home. I have to make sure there are no accidents. We also have a pool in our backyard so I have to be careful about that.
I've personally never accepted a request to babysit an infant or child under 18 months.
It's harder for me to watch more kids since I have three, and two are toddlers. So when my daughter has a playdate at our house, it's a lot of work. I spend the whole time chasing the kids around and making sure they don't get into anything they shouldn't. There's no way to sit back, relax and watch t.v. I know a playdate isn't the same thing as babysitting, but it's still work for me. There is also a lot of liability involved with caring for other people's kids in one's home. I have to make sure there are no accidents. We also have a pool in our backyard so I have to be careful about that.
I don't babysit often, its been a couple times for an hour...and it just feels like I have to be on full alert. And of course my house isn't at all child proofed anymore.
I felt the same way about play dates too. Just a ton of work. If the mom stayed it was ok because she could watch her kids and we could talk. But if she wasn't there it was just like babysitting. For free.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Anyway, the above is an example of the generalization that, IME, leads to so many problems in society. If nothing else it stirs up the "mommy wars", which can be called "mommyism" if it makes you feel better.
